Page 15 | Things you wouldn't admit in real life part 2

namechangetheworld · 17/10/2025 13:34

SmallDogsAreScary · 17/10/2025 13:32

There's no need to be patronising. I'm not 5.

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And there's no need to call me showing my friends kindness and support 'creepy', is there?

Luckyingame · 17/10/2025 13:35

Part 2?
Ok then.
I cannot stand kids, knew since early teenage years and best decision of my life was not to ever have any.
Yes, of, not if 🙄

Thatsalineallright · 17/10/2025 13:35

SmallDogsAreScary · 17/10/2025 13:32

There's no need to be patronising. I'm not 5.

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You're the one who made things adversarial.

ForRealViper · 17/10/2025 13:36

Thatsalineallright · 17/10/2025 13:35

You're the one who made things adversarial.

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Oh my god, both of you are cringe.

Thatsalineallright · 17/10/2025 13:38

ForRealViper · 17/10/2025 13:36

Oh my god, both of you are cringe.

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Okay then.

FastFood · 17/10/2025 13:39

ForRealViper · 17/10/2025 10:51

Namechanged for this.

I never talk about it out loud, but I'm so pleased with myself for not having children. I think about it every day. It's at the back of my mind every time I talk to someone with kids, or see or hear a child.

I respect children and want them to be safe and happy (part of my job is to fundraise for children's community projects), but I never want them near me, and never, ever want one in my home. I can't fathom what possesses people to have children by choice, especially in this day and age. To me, there are plenty of people who are already alive who could benefit from my skill set, so that's what I apply myself to.

When people with children talk about their fantasy of a perfect day/life, they very often describe a life just like mine. Quiet, clean house, doing as I please, my money being mine alone, making modest but carefree travel plans. I have never once fantasised about a life with children, it looks positively masochistic.

When I was younger, people told me I'd regret not having children. One people even described it as "cheating". Now I'm older, people are starting to admit that they think I made the better call. I pretend not to know what they mean and say "Oh, I'm sure that's not true! Everyone's different!". But I agree.

When people say that childfree women "don't know how hard it is to be a parent", they're wrong, I do know, that's why I didn't do it. When people say I "don't know how good I have it", I do know, that's why I made the choices I did. I think about how good I have it every day I wake up!

I'd go as far as to say that I'm smug as fuck. But it would be rude of me to let on in real life, so I keep it quiet.

Well my dear you and I share the same brain.
I also have that attitude towards marriage. I have never pictured myself as a bride, let alone a wife. At weddings, I'm always the single lady and I absolutely relish it.
When I was a child, all I wanted was to live alone in a tidy little flat with a pet, have a good job and some friends. Well that's exactly my life now.

I must say I'm can't really be smug about that because most of my friends are also childfree by choice. We often send each other group texts saying "your reminder that we don't have kids".

Thatsalineallright · 17/10/2025 13:40

Luckyingame · 17/10/2025 13:35

Part 2?
Ok then.
I cannot stand kids, knew since early teenage years and best decision of my life was not to ever have any.
Yes, of, not if 🙄

Edited

I think it's great when people know what they want. It's unfortunately too common to think you don't want kids but then regret it or alternatively have kids and then regret that.

Confessionsthrowaway · 17/10/2025 13:42

Luckyingame · 17/10/2025 13:35

Part 2?
Ok then.
I cannot stand kids, knew since early teenage years and best decision of my life was not to ever have any.
Yes, of, not if 🙄

Edited

Mine too.

Confessionsthrowaway · 17/10/2025 13:44

Thatsalineallright · 17/10/2025 13:40

I think it's great when people know what they want. It's unfortunately too common to think you don't want kids but then regret it or alternatively have kids and then regret that.

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More the latter than the former. I don't know of anyone who didn't want kids but changed their mind. I'm obviously not talking about people who struggled with fertility.

Adirtyspoon · 17/10/2025 13:44

loveoperaforchildren · 17/10/2025 04:28

that’s speaking as someone who has only ever slept with my husband and has never had an affair!!

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So in that case you “genuinely don’t understand why affairs are a big issue” is all the more intriguing.

Is this because you want to have an affair?
Have you told your husband how you feel about affairs being… no biggie 🤷‍♀️? @loveoperaforchildren

Adirtyspoon · 17/10/2025 13:49

ForRealViper · 17/10/2025 10:51

Namechanged for this.

I never talk about it out loud, but I'm so pleased with myself for not having children. I think about it every day. It's at the back of my mind every time I talk to someone with kids, or see or hear a child.

I respect children and want them to be safe and happy (part of my job is to fundraise for children's community projects), but I never want them near me, and never, ever want one in my home. I can't fathom what possesses people to have children by choice, especially in this day and age. To me, there are plenty of people who are already alive who could benefit from my skill set, so that's what I apply myself to.

When people with children talk about their fantasy of a perfect day/life, they very often describe a life just like mine. Quiet, clean house, doing as I please, my money being mine alone, making modest but carefree travel plans. I have never once fantasised about a life with children, it looks positively masochistic.

When I was younger, people told me I'd regret not having children. One people even described it as "cheating". Now I'm older, people are starting to admit that they think I made the better call. I pretend not to know what they mean and say "Oh, I'm sure that's not true! Everyone's different!". But I agree.

When people say that childfree women "don't know how hard it is to be a parent", they're wrong, I do know, that's why I didn't do it. When people say I "don't know how good I have it", I do know, that's why I made the choices I did. I think about how good I have it every day I wake up!

I'd go as far as to say that I'm smug as fuck. But it would be rude of me to let on in real life, so I keep it quiet.

Why the need to name change? @ForRealViper

You didn’t want children
You didn’t have children
You are very pleased that you made that decision and have no regrets

Thatsalineallright · 17/10/2025 13:50

Confessionsthrowaway · 17/10/2025 13:44

More the latter than the former. I don't know of anyone who didn't want kids but changed their mind. I'm obviously not talking about people who struggled with fertility.

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No idea which is more common.

I am a bit suspicious of people who are absolutely obsessed with having kids. I privately wonder what they're picturing and if their high expectations can possibly be met.

Original poster

TwinklyFawn · 17/10/2025 13:55

I have never understood what is so good about downton abbey. I have tried watching it several times. I never get very far as it bores me to tears.

OP posts:

Confessionsthrowaway · 17/10/2025 13:57

TwinklyFawn · 17/10/2025 13:55

I have never understood what is so good about downton abbey. I have tried watching it several times. I never get very far as it bores me to tears.

Totally agree.

ThatsNotMyNameAlan · 17/10/2025 14:00

amibeingaknob · 17/10/2025 11:16

That all love is conditional. We are socialised to believe (especially as women) that we will always unconditionally love our children. I believed that - I don't believe that to be true anymore. I dont love my eldest adult child. She is simply a very horrible ugly person, and I am glad she is no longer in my life. I don't miss her at all, I haven't seen her for years, and she got back in touch a few months back, and she was ugly as ever, and I want nothing to do with her ever. I don't love her, like her, or miss her. I try to never think about her.

I feel I can never admit this in real life as it would make me a monster.

Can you give examples of why she’s so horrible?

Do you think your lack of interest makes her sad?

Could she do anything to redeem herself?

Differentforgirls · 17/10/2025 14:00

Stickonstars · 17/10/2025 08:18

On Mumsnet, when I see women ask if they are too old (late 30s-Early40s) to have a child, they often get really negative responses. I.e. you’ll be going through the menopause when the child is 7, you’ll die when the child is 25, you’ll be too tired when the child is x, disability risks etc etc. I assume most of the responses are from women who are resentful and just went straight into motherhood and need to feel good about themselves for doing that. Spent their young lives running a family, gave up their career prospects, financial independence. i.e. women 60+, super religious women, women who’ve never worked and relied on benefits to bring up their children.

I think the same about posters who go on negatively about people losing weight with WLIs. Those who take the time to point out how people using WLI have no self control and are taking an easy way out etc etc. I think they have been so delighted in their life to be skinnier than people and ‘superior’ about it, and now they’re just bitter they’re finding less opportunity for it.

I'm 61, 62 next month. Have two sons. Had the first when I was 27, miscarried the second when I was 31 and had the third when I had just turned 32. Had a career and retired last year when I was 60 with no mortgage etc, husband retired on his 60th the year before. We have good pensions, a lovely home and savings. We have only ever had family allowance which was universal. I think late 30s, early 40s is actually too old. I think I'm an older mother and I was early 30s when I had my second. To top it all I'm a Catholic and have been married to the same man since I was 23 years old and still adore every single thing about him. No wonder you wouldn't admit such a bigoted, ageist, anti religion, misogynist view in real life! You'd have no pals. 😂

ForRealViper · 17/10/2025 14:00

Adirtyspoon · 17/10/2025 13:49

Why the need to name change? @ForRealViper

You didn’t want children
You didn’t have children
You are very pleased that you made that decision and have no regrets

Edited

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It's a touchy subject, so I preferred it not to be linked with the other things I talk about here. That made sense to me.

godmum56 · 17/10/2025 14:02

TwinklyFawn · 17/10/2025 13:55

I have never understood what is so good about downton abbey. I have tried watching it several times. I never get very far as it bores me to tears.

the list of TV programs I have tried and don't see the point of is too long to type. I don't bother to hide it

HectorPlasm · 17/10/2025 14:05

All American sports are shit:

Baseball = glorified rounders
Basketball = load of people running from one side of the court to the other
Ice hockey = freezing cold watching people fight on ice, can't see the puck
Football = Rugby for brain deads

amibeingaknob · 17/10/2025 14:05

ThatsNotMyNameAlan · 17/10/2025 14:00

Can you give examples of why she’s so horrible?

Do you think your lack of interest makes her sad?

Could she do anything to redeem herself?

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I could give lots of examples but I dont want to. Id get lots of sympathy and horror but I no longer need the validation tbh.

I dont think the lack of interest makes her sad. I think the fact I won't allow her to abuse me anymore and make me doubt myself, and that I finally enforced boundaries with her makes her utterly furious tbh.

There is absolutely nothing she could do to redeem herself. I thought about it a lot - it wouldn't happen, but even if she had a personality transplant and was full of remorse and wanted to atone, she simply couldn't. I would never be able to forgive, and I would forever be wary that the rug would be pulled at any point. She is a very dangerous person, and I wouldn't be able to allow her access to me for risk of her causing further harm.

I do admit IRL that I can't have her in my life, and I won't ever forgive her - what I don't admit is that I don't love her or miss her and I prefer it this way now. That, I think, is too hard for a mother to admit out loud. If it wasn't happening to me, I may have judged myself.

amibeingaknob · 17/10/2025 14:07

TBH its taken YEARS to admit it to myself. So maybe I will say it out loud eventually to loved ones. Right now, I don't tell a soul.

godmum56 · 17/10/2025 14:08

HectorPlasm · 17/10/2025 14:05

All American sports are shit:

Baseball = glorified rounders
Basketball = load of people running from one side of the court to the other
Ice hockey = freezing cold watching people fight on ice, can't see the puck
Football = Rugby for brain deads

all sports are shit

Jugjug · 17/10/2025 14:10

nevermind Name change failed

simplesimoneatspie · 17/10/2025 14:11

That people who choose not to have kids are often self absorbed and immature ….

TeachMeSomething · 17/10/2025 14:14

simplesimoneatspie · 17/10/2025 14:11

That people who choose not to have kids are often self absorbed and immature ….

I can see you chose an appropriate username