Page 11 | Things you wouldn't admit in real life part 2

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 16/10/2025 23:38

MrsZiggywinkle · 16/10/2025 22:52

That’s such a massive generalisation. Any condition will be impacted by poor eating habits from a skin condition to an auto immune disease. Current research indicates ADHD runs in families, can be down to brain anatomy, brain injury, toxins, environmental factors, etc.

I’m mid 50s. I don’t eat junk food and never have yet I have been diagnosed with CPTSD which I’ve been told is almost certainly a direct result of ADHD and ASD. I haven’t self diagnosed. I don’t actually care about getting a diagnosis. I just want to manage the challenges I’ve always had since childhood. It is a real problem not something I want to whine about and post on Tik Tok. Just because you don’t have it and you can’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. ADHD is not just the domain of naughty boys eating too many e numbers and doom scrolling 20 hours a day.

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Excellent reply, I fully agree.

I think i have undiagnosed ADHD, possibly from being born three months prematurely and weaned off heroin. I'm pretty sure the drug didn’t help my brain chemistry ante- and postnatally.

Plus, I had a head injury and post concussion syndrome a decade ago which probably didn't help much either, nor being injured by an off label antipsychotic that acts on dopamine, nor being in the throes of perimenopause too now. 😅😂 My poor brain won't know what's wrong!

CrispsPlease · 16/10/2025 23:43

Hagr1d · 16/10/2025 23:26

Sounds like my MIL.

Except that she is still alive and I think my mask has slipped. People know how I feel. I can't hide it any longer.

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Oh my goodness @Arraminta@Hagr1d : same!

My MIL is the most immature, childish, selfish, odd, strange, silly, racist, sexist, two faced, bitchy , emotionally stunted and repressed, cruel , manipulative, cold, fake, self isolating, never takes any personal responsibility, treats her adult sons like little baby boys (yet has never kissed hugged or told them she loved them in her life) she's horribly jealous of other women. Mortally possessive and controlling of her sons. Lacks all empathy for others , especially females. She acts like a 12 yr old boy (yup, seriously) talks in a baby voice.... God I could go on and on.

I've tried so damn hard with her. To understand her. To give her a million excuses for why she behaves so oddly.

I've killed her with kindness and my face aches from being so nice to her (it's paid off. Mostly ) but I've had to sacrifice my sanity at times and let her get away with way too much in order to keep up the "we're friends" facade.

Very very few people have any idea how much I resent and loathe her (and I was very much willing to try to like her ) now I meet her complete lack of effort and empathy with minimal effort back (whilst still being nice ) sometimes I have some very unchristian thoughts about her.

Smallorveryfaraway · 16/10/2025 23:43

NC for this. Am loving this thread.

I wish I'd got back with my first love once I'd got over the mental health issue I'd had to split us up to work on. I think part of me will always love him. I don't know if we would've worked long term, I just wish I'd had more time with him.

I used to daydream about my DH having an affair and leaving me. I wouldn't hate him for it, I'd be relieved and we would stay friends. I love him very much, but he's incredibly hard work and needy. I recognise that my life would be much worse without him in it but I do wish he was more self sufficient and easy going. At the same time I'm grateful he's too morally rigid to have an affair, I think it's the most disrespectful and damaging thing you can do to the person you share your life with.

I am absolutely the type of person my best mates could rely on to help them dispose of a body. Should they ever come over all homicidal.

I agree with the pp who said they don't agree with people being themselves at work. I definitely have a work persona. Nobody would want me to be my authentic self at work, it would be carnage.

Sharptonguedwoman · 17/10/2025 00:01

Flashingbeacon · 16/10/2025 23:23

the only times in my life I’ve been happy and grown has been when I’ve been nc with my mother. I sacrificed it all because it was tearing the family apart. I was happy to let everyone thing I was crazy and she had done nothing wrong but everyone (grandparents, siblings, aunts etc etc) kept trying to fixing it and it was damaging all of them. So now I life my life with crippling depression like symptoms and shielding my kids from it. It’s always been hard to explain because no one else saw that side of her but the cracks are showing now she’s getting older and a couple of people have asked me if she was always like this. Honestly that’s harder to deal with as I look at my zero qualifications, zero career, zero hobbies. My partner has always said say the word and we can move as far as we can.

no one would believe that in my 40’s I can’t go to an art class or get a new job because my bloody mothers voice is so loud in my head.

Can you talk to someone? Find out how to distance without the drama of others? All my sympathy.

MrsZiggywinkle · 17/10/2025 00:04

Thatsalineallright · 16/10/2025 23:05

So we at least partially agree. ADHD can be down to things like environmental factors and toxins etc. That's why I wish doctors would do more than simply medicate but instead take a more holistic approach.

My young nephew has been diagnosed with ADHD. He has a terrible diet but he's on medication. It makes more sense to me to first try to manage symptoms through lifestyle changes before giving a young child medications with known side effects.

Maybe diet wouldn't have any effect in his case, but isn't it worth checking? Likewise, isn't it best to check for other environmental factors instead of immediately saying "his brain is different, always will be, medication is the only thing worth trying"?

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Yes, but I think you’re over simplifying it. A better diet, exercise, routines, organisational strategies, managing triggers will all help but if like me you carry the burden of decades of not knowing why you don’t really fit in, why you are always on the edge of friendship groups, why you have been repeatedly bullied or gaslit, why you can’t stay in a job longer than a year, why you feel so exhausted after a day at the office that you have to go straight to bed when you get home, why you procrastinate over household tasks but then completely overwork in other areas of your life to the point of burnout then you will carry a huge amount of shame and guilt for not being able to cope. This is all under the guise of presenting yourself to world as being okay and getting on with life.

I’m educated and I’ve done everything in my power to manage this myself in terms of lifestyle, diet, different work environments, different jobs and still last year I ended up on the verge of a breakdown. People with ADHD and autism have to expend far more energy just to exist and fit in because their brains are naturally over stimulated by every little sensory thing not just modern tech and iPhones.

The hyperactivity in women and girls is internalised so it’s like having ten squirrels racing around in your head at once. It’s not worry or anxiety. It’s a bloody constant dialogue going on in your head about everything at once.

Howdiditgetsobad · 17/10/2025 00:11

I wanted my kids so much but the reality sucks and I feel like a rubbish parent. Im absolutely miserable and yet I outwardly function.

Flashingbeacon · 17/10/2025 00:12

Sharptonguedwoman · 17/10/2025 00:01

Can you talk to someone? Find out how to distance without the drama of others? All my sympathy.

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thats what I should do. But shes also now an older lady on her own (my father passed) and to free myself I’d have to sink her. I don’t believe any of it is malicious or even intentional. Best I can do is make sure my kids are happy to live their own life.

but thanks for caring - that helps.

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 00:13

I worry about how I'll clean out the garage if and when my DH dies as I'm terrified of large spiders (tried everything to cure the phobia to no avail)

Sharptonguedwoman · 17/10/2025 00:15

Wellyoudidaskaboutit · 16/10/2025 10:40

If they are, removing them is doubly important.

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😂😂😂👀

MrsZiggywinkle · 17/10/2025 00:23

https://www.understood.org/en/articles/common-myths-about-adhd

8 common myths about ADHD

Is what you know about ADHD true? Here are common myths and misconceptions about attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, put to rest.

https://www.understood.org/en/articles/common-myths-about-adhd

Snead808 · 17/10/2025 00:24

Soveryitchy · 15/10/2025 22:45

I have psoriasis in my arse crack. Went to a dermatologist who diagnosed it as such and prescribed a cream with limited success, then she prescribed injections which haven't worked either. Never told anyone else, not my mum my sister or even my husband. I use the loo at work multiple times a day to scratch it. It flares up and down, but it's always there. I've been nearly suicidal over it as I cannot function with a permanently itchy arse crack. Going for a poo is an ordeal. Sometimes the itch has become consuming while driving and I'm legitimacy worried I will cause an accident.

Aw I feel for you with this, a chronic itch is awful and it's probably not getting better because you're in an itch scratch cycle. Try haemorrhoid cream on it, every time you need to scratch put this on it instead. You'll still need to stop yourself from scratching but it soothes and slightly numbs the area, also works as a protective barrier against irritants. I have found it really useful for eczema flare ups

Outside9 · 17/10/2025 00:38

A lot of arguments in relationships probably coincide with a particular time in a woman's mensuration cycle when probably levels drop.

Menopause has probably led to more divorces than we're ready to accept.

ThatsNotMyNameAlan · 17/10/2025 00:42

LillyPJ · 16/10/2025 18:59

'An eye for an eye' isn't particularly peaceful either! Nor is beating your slaves.

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I absolutely agree! I’m atheist. All religions have awful bits. But right now, Islam is the worst.

Cherryicecreamx · 17/10/2025 01:20

Beekman · 16/10/2025 02:42

I rent an apartment and all that is in it is a large brown sectional and a massive telly. Oh, and a kettle. I go there twice a week and watch true crime documentaries and cry about my mum, who died three years ago. I spend a couple of days a week there and then go back to my lovely home where my husband lives and our grown kids visit all the time. Not a soul knows about this.

Omg a secret hideaway house 👀

Violinist64 · 17/10/2025 01:21

Soveryitchy · 16/10/2025 19:18

What's funny about a skin condition that has on occassion made me want to kill myself please?

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This was my thought exactly when I read that very insensitive comment. I think l can confidentiality speak for everyone else here in sending you every sympathy at suffering such a nasty complaint.

ClairDeLaLune · 17/10/2025 01:30

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 16/10/2025 01:37

When I worked for a call centre, and I got a particularly bad customer, I used to doodle on my whiteboard of what I think they would look like as dogs.

So if you've ever had the opportunity to speak to me at my old job and you've called 5 minutes before closing to tell me that you've not paid your phone bill and we're going to restrict your services because it's the 5th time this year, and then personally blame me for causing you stress when I've explained there's sweet FA I can do about it, the billing department is closed and we had been open ALL DAY to resolve this issue, I probably drew you as a dog. If you ever rang me to tell me your broadband is down and I tell you that it'll be 2 days before we can send an engineer to you, and you tell me that's not acceptable because now you've got to entertain your own kids, I drew you as a dog. If you ever rang me to tell me that your internet speed is 2Mbps but that's because you decided to buy your own land at the arse end of nowhere and build your multi-million pound modern mansion there where there's no street registered, and all you can get is copper, but somehow that's OUR FAULT, dog. If you ever rang me to say you can get better prices on comparison websites, and want me to magic up a discount from my arse and complain incessantly when I can't instead of just using the comparison websites you've preached about, dog. If you ever rang to tell me that you've got a problem entirely within your own domain, but you expect me to send an engineer out for something out of their remit because you're technologically illiterate and then start screaming down the phone at me when I say they can't help you connect your wireless printer to your PC because that's not our problem, toothless chihuahua. If you ever rang first thing on a morning and expected me to be peppy at 8am, when I finished my 10pm end an hour late because the last person I talked to wanted to ask "one last question before you go", dog. If you ever started a sentence with the statement "I've looked on your website, but I can't see..." and then suddenly expect me to see what you can't see, dog.

Bet my colleagues just really thought I liked dogs with how much I was doodling them.

Where oh where is the laughing reaction emoji when you need it? Your post is hilarious, brilliant, and so well written! You should be a comedy writer @Jimmyneutronsforehead

ClairDeLaLune · 17/10/2025 01:34

MollyRoisin · 16/10/2025 00:04

I'm in love with a man who's also in love with me. We connect, we are close, we click, we just get each other, we'd be together if we could. But we are both stuck in very unhappy long marriages to other people, and both of us have children. Neither of us feels able to leave for different reasons and neither of us would ever have a physical affair because after all we made vows to other people. I realise what's going on is an emotional affair and of course that's a betrayal too, but both of us need the connection and emotional support we have with each other because we don't have it at home. One of us is in an abusive relationship, the other an utterly soulless indifferent one, both awful in different ways, both sexless for many years. We met at work two years ago quite by chance, it's a huge organisation. We can't believe we found each other at this stage in our lives, in our late 50s. I don't know where this is going or if we'll ever be able to be together, but for now what we have will have to do. I can't imagine life without him, and he feels the same about me. For now it makes things bearable for both of us.

PS long term MNer using a different name for obvious reasons.

That sounds like a beautiful relationship @MollyRoisin. You sound like an amazing mum to put your kids first to that extent. I hope that one day you and your … I don’t know what to call him, soulmate (??) … will find a way to be together, and you’ll be happy.

ClairDeLaLune · 17/10/2025 01:39

Soveryitchy · 15/10/2025 22:45

I have psoriasis in my arse crack. Went to a dermatologist who diagnosed it as such and prescribed a cream with limited success, then she prescribed injections which haven't worked either. Never told anyone else, not my mum my sister or even my husband. I use the loo at work multiple times a day to scratch it. It flares up and down, but it's always there. I've been nearly suicidal over it as I cannot function with a permanently itchy arse crack. Going for a poo is an ordeal. Sometimes the itch has become consuming while driving and I'm legitimacy worried I will cause an accident.

That sounds horrific @Soveryitchy. This might be a stupid suggestion but have you tried Savlon? I get an itchy bum sometimes and it works wonders. It might not be strong enough for what you need though.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 17/10/2025 01:58

ClairDeLaLune · 17/10/2025 01:30

Where oh where is the laughing reaction emoji when you need it? Your post is hilarious, brilliant, and so well written! You should be a comedy writer @Jimmyneutronsforehead

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I used to do stand up comedy nights. If anybody has ever been to any open mic comedy nights or small room comedy gigs in Sheffield or Leeds I might even have been seen. 🫣

Fell out of love for doing it though when the pressures of life got higher.

I'd love to get back into it but I don't live in a comedy hot spot right now.

Manova14 · 17/10/2025 02:28

To preface: i LOATHE Trump but:

I am getting a kick out of how trump is threatening hamas, and I admire his deal, and I want America to annihilate hamas. I believe capitalism and turning gaza into another dubai is the only way to separate palestinians away from hamas and drag them out of their medieval hatred of Jews.

loveoperaforchildren · 17/10/2025 04:27

the
older i get the more i genuinely don’t understand why affairs are seen as such a big issue
if they are discreetly done and make longterm marriages bearable and last for children.

loveoperaforchildren · 17/10/2025 04:28

loveoperaforchildren · 17/10/2025 04:27

the
older i get the more i genuinely don’t understand why affairs are seen as such a big issue
if they are discreetly done and make longterm marriages bearable and last for children.

that’s speaking as someone who has only ever slept with my husband and has never had an affair!!

ACIGC · 17/10/2025 05:02

ForGladGreen · 16/10/2025 22:36

Do they know? Have you ever told them? Would love to know more

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They know. They feel the same but our circumstances mean we can’t be together.

Quackity · 17/10/2025 05:51

Thatsalineallright · 16/10/2025 16:11

I really don't mean this in a rude way, but this is the weirdest thing I've read on here. I just can't imagine liking that head cold feeling!

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I used to love having my period! I felt relaxed and happy. Hopefully my kids feel the same!

Thepossibility · 17/10/2025 06:19

I don't care about any of my nieces or nephews. They are all (the ones I know) brats. I put on a show of giving a shit, but I'm pretty sure they will be a bunch of arseholes when they grow up. Except for the one that my SIL claims is the problem child because of his ND. He is actually lovely to chat to and much nicer than his golden child younger brother.