Page 6 | Who is in charge of this child?

BuildbyNumbere · 15/10/2025 21:27

This sounds like the worse holiday ever for a 17 and 19 year old … cheap half term UK break and not allowed to go off on their own 🤣
Assume this is a caravan park?!? What on earth do you expect them to do and are they allowed out alone when they are at home?? No different on this holiday!

Skyflymom · 15/10/2025 21:27

JustReacher · 15/10/2025 16:59

I bet all these posters saying "she's an adult, it'll be fine, get a grip" don't have young adult or adult kids. I get it OP, you do need to sort this out. Whoever said flip flops on a motor bike is damn right. If that goes wrong it will 100% become your problem.

We took DD's boyfriend on holiday when he was 17 and she was 18 and his mum wanted to meet us first, which we completely understood.

Mum to 18,26,30,32,35 year olds so you got that bet wrong!

OP is being totally unreasonable! Of course if anything happens or she needs help then they should step in but I don’t understand the argument of who is responsible for her. She’s not a child, I’d left home at 17 and was totally responsible for myself! it’s a Uk break away, not a drink fuelled holiday in some far flung corner of the world!

Theslummymummy · 15/10/2025 21:32

JustReacher · 15/10/2025 16:48

You will be responsible as she's not an adult. And we all know that 19 year old "adults" ain't always the best at actual adulting, even if they think they are!

Erm speak for yourself. I had a mortgage and a child at 19.

Iwontlethtesungodownonme · 15/10/2025 21:35

I left home just after turning 17.
I was absolutely responsible for myself.

Namechangerage · 15/10/2025 21:35

YABU

If you were going abroad I’d just want confirmation of her travel insurance. But in the uk is fine!!

Namechangerage · 15/10/2025 21:38

harmonise · 15/10/2025 16:55

Because I feel taking somebody else’s child on holiday is a big responsibility

Show quote history

Abroad maybe. In the uk, if anything happened your son could take her to hospital and her family could reach her. Abroad is tricky.

I went abroad by myself at 19. So your son is fine being the adult

Lights22 · 15/10/2025 21:42

I don't understand why people are giving you so much grief for this @harmonise. She is not legally an adult so if something goes wrong, eyes will look to the adult responsible for her.

You're not saying what she can/can't do on a day by day basis or on about treating her as a child. But she is, legally, a child.

Yes, officially your son could be the adult responsible for her but, depending on his own maturity, he would then look to you as a "real" adult... Like we all do then panic when we realise that's us, ha.

But I do agree, be led by her parents. A lot depends on her maturity too and her parents' views and wishes.

samplesalequeen · 15/10/2025 21:46

Largestlegocollectionever · 15/10/2025 16:52

Wow what a weird thing to say to your ds!
She’s responsible for herself, and yes, worse case something did happen then it’s ds guest, and surely if say an emergency you’d all step in to help.
bonkers esp for a uk trip 🤣

Uch come on. How is it weird? The OP is doing her best to look after someone on holiday. It’s not unusual for an adult to feel responsible for someone who’s barely out of childhood and still not old enough to vote or drink.

CherrieTomaties · 15/10/2025 21:46

harmonise · 15/10/2025 16:55

Because I feel taking somebody else’s child on holiday is a big responsibility

Show quote history

If she was 7 years old, in your care, then yes, she would be your responsibility.

But a 17 year old….. Good grief OP please get real.

It’s probably best if your son and his girlfriend go on holiday together without you mithering.

sittingonabeach · 15/10/2025 21:47

I suppose if GF came back to where they were staying in a drunken state and totally incapable of looking after herself and if really bad needing medical assistance, would OP feel responsible for looking after her and would her parents think OP should have been more responsible. I bet the parents would if GF was 16

nomas · 15/10/2025 21:50

harmonise · 15/10/2025 16:47

We have a holiday booked for the October half term, only a cheap uk break but ds 19 has asked to bring his gf 17 and we have agreed.
Ds has said they will go off and do their own thing a bit, both drive but I have said to Ds that she is still a child and I will be responsible for her.
He says actually he’s an adult and will be the one responsible for her.
How would you feel in this position?

Who is paying for DS and GF? Your money, your (reasonable) rules.

Side step DS and talk to her parents, ask them if they’re happy with GF and DS being independent and doing their own thing on the trip.

And yes, in the very unlikely event something happens, her parents will be looking to DS’s parents for answers.

CherrieTomaties · 15/10/2025 21:50

samplesalequeen · 15/10/2025 21:46

Uch come on. How is it weird? The OP is doing her best to look after someone on holiday. It’s not unusual for an adult to feel responsible for someone who’s barely out of childhood and still not old enough to vote or drink.

Show quote history

A 17 year old who is old enough to drive, get married, have a job, have consensual sex, go to university (Scotland), join the army - is not “barely out of childhood” please don’t be so bloody ridiculous and patronising. Infantilising an almost adult is making our society go backwards.

sittingonabeach · 15/10/2025 21:52

17yo can't get married in England any more.

Can't become a regular solder until 18

shuggles · 15/10/2025 21:52

@harmonise Who is in charge of this child?

What child?

samplesalequeen · 15/10/2025 22:02

CherrieTomaties · 15/10/2025 21:50

A 17 year old who is old enough to drive, get married, have a job, have consensual sex, go to university (Scotland), join the army - is not “barely out of childhood” please don’t be so bloody ridiculous and patronising. Infantilising an almost adult is making our society go backwards.

Show quote history

and? Just because you can do those things does not mean that you’re barely out of childhood?

Parental responsibility is still established at 17 and if you were in police custody you’d be entitled to an appropriate adult.

Londonrach1 · 15/10/2025 22:04

Really strange why if looking at this op. I'd not invite on the holiday until she's 18 if you feel like this

Peridoteage · 15/10/2025 22:12

A 16 year old can go on holiday without "adults" and not have anyone with them, I don't see why you feel you need to take responsibility for her.

middleagedandinarage · 15/10/2025 22:12

I lived on my own at 17, in a city over 100 miles from anyone I knew. I was fine! No-one needs to be responsible for her

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 15/10/2025 22:13

I was travelling round Russia with friends at that age.

Peridoteage · 15/10/2025 22:15

Meanwhile in the real world hordes of 16 year olds go off on trips after gcses without any parents at all.....

CherrieTomaties · 15/10/2025 22:16

samplesalequeen · 15/10/2025 22:02

and? Just because you can do those things does not mean that you’re barely out of childhood?

Parental responsibility is still established at 17 and if you were in police custody you’d be entitled to an appropriate adult.

Show quote history

A 17 year old is not “barely out of childhood”. I’ve honestly never heard anything as ridiculous 😂

What exactly do you think is going to happen to her on this holiday that she needs some sort of parental supervision?

Cornishclio · 15/10/2025 22:16

I think it is worrying both you and your son think you are responsible for his 17 year old GF. What does she and her parents (her actual legal guardians) say? My children went away with friends at 16/17 with no adults with them. They were sensible though and knew we were on the end of a phone if they had problems.

Happygolucky314 · 15/10/2025 22:17

AllYoursBabooshkaBabooshkaBabooshkaYaYa · 15/10/2025 17:00

This is a really weird take.

She will be sleeping with your son, do you really view her as a child?

If an emergency crops up then it can be dealth with accordingly, but you're talking like you will be reminding her to brush her teeth and go for a wee before bed.

Show quote history

Wiping her knee if she fell over kind of vibe and tucking her in with a glass of milk 😂 at 17 I was working and earning for myself so I was responsible for myself and this young lady is also a responsible adult

DangerousAlchemy · 15/10/2025 22:20

JustReacher · 15/10/2025 16:59

I bet all these posters saying "she's an adult, it'll be fine, get a grip" don't have young adult or adult kids. I get it OP, you do need to sort this out. Whoever said flip flops on a motor bike is damn right. If that goes wrong it will 100% become your problem.

We took DD's boyfriend on holiday when he was 17 and she was 18 and his mum wanted to meet us first, which we completely understood.

Finally a sensible reply 👏 I think most posters are remembering how grown up they felt at this age rather than reacting to how they would parent someones else's young adult. My DS is 17 & I'd be chatting to the other parents if he was going away abroad on his own with an older girlfriend.

RawBloomers · 15/10/2025 22:24

DangerousAlchemy · 15/10/2025 22:20

Finally a sensible reply 👏 I think most posters are remembering how grown up they felt at this age rather than reacting to how they would parent someones else's young adult. My DS is 17 & I'd be chatting to the other parents if he was going away abroad on his own with an older girlfriend.

Show quote history

I think most posters are reacting the OP arguing with her son over who would be "in charge" instead of talking to the GF or her parents. It shows a complete lack of respect for the GF as a young adult and her parents, who may have never even spoken to OP.

(And yes, I have "young adult" children).