Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

Yes, but working on a tray or your lap is a terrible musculo-skeletal risk.

I find her comments fairly accurate as evidence by the OPs descriptions...someone with breathing difficulties sat opposite her and she sprayed perfume...so OP actually had the harmful smells and in mentioning the ladies weight in her post ..she was THE definition of body shaming as that detail is inconsequential.

Oh and harmed people can be angry, that's often the reaction to injustice and discrimination.

I think the lady knew very clearly what was happening and called it out

I would have done the same as you.

I am in perimenopause and struggle with daily nausea, any strong smell makes it worse. A few months ago my elderly mum was discharged from hospital and we had a lady from the care agency come to the house to assess. She too was a larger woman and she had a very particular smell which really set off my nausea, I had to keep making excuses and popping outside for a breath of fresh air. After she had left we had to open the window and spray air freshener.

If she had been sat near me on public transport I would have definitely moved.

Like i said earlier, i was referring to uk trains, but if you sit at a table, you gotta share

I was referring to flip down table tops

Who said I wasn’t sharing space, plugs etc? I just didn’t want to share my nostrils and stomach contents!!!

Again, you’re totally incorrect, if a ‘thin person’ was dribbling and spraying their water I would absolutely have an issue with it!

So why graphically describe every detail of her size then?

And now it's 'spraying', is it? OK.

The way OP keeps doubling down on how animalistic and gross this woman apparently was is screaming volumes about her. I think that this is a case of her wishing she'd said something to the woman and getting in a stew over it. The anger is wild.

Some of the East Midlands services from St Pancras to Nottingham have their first stop at Kettering which is 50 minutes from London

Ignore them OP, some people just LOVE an argument

another time (could that ever happen again??) just say you’re deaf.

People can be incontinent faecally too, they can have to wear incontinence pads ...they may need to travel from one place to another. Your lack of understanding is appalling. You knew this lady needed an inhaler and you sprayed perfume....so I think you were equal in your imposing yourselves on each other

“Feel absolutely awful”

For about 3 mins 😆

Sounds like you were sitting opposite a St. Bernard with no self-awareness.

Did you really need to mention her weight, the sweating and the fact that she was out of breath? Mn really needs to do something about there veiled fat shaming threads (& the ableist ones too). Getting ridiculous

What like someone starting a thread about smelly fat people?

Given how you have written your post and sprayed perfume to disguise the smell I’m guessing you were looking at her with disgust - your post drips with it, I’m sure she knew exactly what you were feeling.

If this is real, the only response I would have given to "Where are going?" would have been, "None of your fucking business".

Me too.

Or, "Why are you asking?" while walking away.

Very odd that you feel you can not sit at a seta with a table even though you've paid the for your ticket like everyone else.

I wouldn't have said a word about her smell you have no idea what her mental health issues are and the fact that she challenged you on something so reasonable as getting up and moving with aggression would worry me that she would challenge you even more if she said she smelt. Some battles aren't worth winning.

This

“Today, a person got on the train huffing & puffing and sweating profusely. She sat on my table and dribbled water from her bottle which reached the table and she smelt a bit of BO. Was I Unreasonable for moving?”

1. The above wouldn’t have bothered you in the slightest had it all been done by a non-overweight individual.
2. See how easy it was to post this very same question without fat shaming anyone?

It’s not because someone is overweight that being SOB isn’t an issue 😵‍💫😵‍💫

I was with you until you made that comment.
That woman was carrying an inhaler. She is short of breath. Her weight should never have dictated whether it was worth worrying about it or not.