Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

@QueenieBeeSmith OP says the next station was 45 minutes away.

Okay so mention it once, not several times with increasingly dehumanising language.

YANBU to have moved, because it's not unreasonable to find a bad smell intolerable to sit in.

BUT absolutely all of your post was completely unnecessary other than the fact that someone sat opposite that smelled badly – her weight, her breathing, her drinking water, her inhaler, how much space she took up, how she manoeuvred into her seat. All of it.

You very likely acted in a way that made it clear that you were disgusted by her – beyond the smell. And for that you sound highly unpleasant.

I'm not, I got a whiff of my armpits earlier pre-shower! Not terrible, but not clean soapy smell either. And I can smell when I've been eating or drinking certain things.

The first time, the OP says 'large' - which could mean tall, muscular. The second time, she says 'incredibly overweight', thus clarifying.

I don't see 'increasingly dehumanising language'. She describes the dribbling, etc plus the smell. I can't think of any other way of relating what the problem was.

FWIW, at my biggest I was nearly 17 stone, so I know what it's like to be fat - not a lot of that was muscle. I'm currently just over 14 stone and now do weight training, so I guess that 'large' would be an accurate description of me at the moment.

Oh for crying out loud, I’m a descriptive person, I was painting a picture of what the situation was. The woman was morbidly obese, she was panting on me, dribbling on the shared table and much of her upper half was sitting on the table as well. I explain this to illustrate that none of this bothered me enough to move, because I do not have a problem with fat people and am not a ‘body shaming bitch’. However, once the smell hit me, and I couldn’t mask it, that’s when I moved. I think her weight and the situation as a whole are entirely relevant.

Ah. I always try to get one, so I can plug my laptop in and work.

I agree with the “none of your fucking business” response above. The “fucking” is optional.

There are people that stink and people that stink.

I rate myself pretty tolerant of this sort of stuff and can normally tolerate it. But I worked with someone for a short period recently who smelt indescribably bad. I can't even think of an analog. I don't know how they managed to create the smell, but not washing for weeks and weeks maybe.

If I ended up sitting next to someone like that for any extended period I would have to either leave or throw up, there wouldn't be any other options.

So I guess it depends on how bad the stench was.

Someone sat opposite you was struggling to breathe, took their inhaler and you sprayed perfume?

So you are fairly equal in assaulting one another with smells. You have no idea why this lady is large...but surely you can see she may need to travel occasionally? Or would you rather she is shut away?

It was bad @GasPaniclike really terrible BO, but also a very strong smell of poo. I couldn’t have stayed where I was.

Your description of her in your original post does sound unkind, and like you may have a problem with people with fat bodies tbh

1) if a more average sized person sat in front of me hugging and puffing like that I would have been really concerned and asked if she needed help, if she was having some sort of attack or something,

She had an inhaler, so she has a medical condition which you have no clue whether is solely down to her weight or not.

dribbling on a shared table

There is no way you would have been bothered by this had it been a thin person. I also guarantee that she just spilled water on the table, which is no big deal and happens on trains all the time – regardless of someone's weight.

I am not a ‘body shaming bitch’

Well considering 90% of your post is about her body and not the smell, which is the actual point, then it's rather clear that you are.

What an odd comment. You realise not everywhere is London? I live in Scotland. Some lines up north have an hour or more between stops.

The embarrassment is not yours. She was the one swearing being rude.
At the point when she asked you where are you going I would have just pretended not to hear her. You don't owe her an explanation. Don't feel bad about it.

But that would suggest it’s not your usual constant smell and that’s why you notice it. The point about nose blindness is that if people smell bad all or most of the time, say if they shower less often or have a problem that means the smell returns a short time after showering, they stop detecting it. It doesn’t sound like you come into that category.

She’s probably got mental health problems. I wouldn’t worry.

If there’s plenty of space, I always move on a bus or train if someone is sitting too close to me. Especially if they’ve got a cold 🤢

Sounds like possible mental health problems in her side, tbh I think you were fine and probably would have done the same in that situation. No swear words or nasty comments just the same with the thought maybe she isn't mentally well :)

I’d love to know what the weight , girth , sweating huffing and dribbling had to do with this non event ?

Yes, I spritzed a tiny bit of perfume into the inside of my collar so that I could try and nestle my nose into it. My orange had a stronger smell than the perfume. And my perfume smelled far better than the BO. If that’s considered assault then I’ll accept it.

And who exactly said anything about her having to shut herself away? Should she not have some respect for fellow passengers and pay closer attention to her personal hygiene prior to travel?

@Anyahyacinth I'm not a fan of heavy perfume but it's got to be better than BO and poo!

And let's face it, this wasn't pitiful sad embarrassed woman, struggling with inexplicable humiliating embarrassing obesity. This was a stroppy feisty woman prepared to tackle a stranger who dared to move seats. She had no idea why OP moved. Maybe OP was ill, needed the toilet, had health issues of her own, was recently bereaved and about to cry - anything really. And the woman chose to accuse and insult her. She chose to pick a fight. No one is saying she shouldn't travel, but does she have to insult people?

The majority of seats on Irish trains are arranged in groups of 4 around a table. It is not at all realistic for solo travellers to avoid those seats. Seat booking is available on most inter-city services.

Plugs are in other seats

Erm no, she didn’t just spill water on the table, that would be a non issue. She was guzzling water for a number of minutes from a 2l bottle, trying to catch her breath and it was dribbling down her chin and onto the table, as well as drops spraying due to the heavy breathing. If she had spilled the water, I would have said so. It was dribbling out of her mouth.

FYI power points are not on some seats without tables on Irish trains. Just on banks of 4 chairs and a table in between.