Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

It's the smell of damp clothes we'll have in a few weeks . You know the musty , hung up damp raincoat smell.

We (DH and I) were sitting behind a couple , the woman reclined her seat (no warning ) , I asked her to tip it back up as she took up our space and she told us to move

I was soooo tempted to say "Yeah I;ll shift but only because your husbands coat fecking stinks and it's making me feel sick" (but I didn't )
I did let her know she was a selfish cow as I shifted (not that she cared )

Some hyper sensitive people on this chat.

I used to be fat. Very fat. And you know what, I probably smelled a bit at times too, because I was fat.

I was in total denial and tiptoeing round it did me no favours whatsoever.

There is no issue with OP describing the person as overweight. It’s a factual observation. I don’t even think there’s much wrong with her describing her as fat. If a few more people had referred to me as fat instead of constantly being polite, I might have sorted it out sooner.

You asked if you behaved correctly I think it's likely you inadvertently looked disgusted and looked up from your phone a few times cementing your disgust - that's how it comes across in your post. You had every right to move but you may just naturally have a disgusted look on your face. I would not have sprayed the perfum - I think that was rude.

That and the fact that you had the audacity to sit at a table when you're a solo traveller😱🤣

So you think that someone sat next to or opposite a faecally incontinent person shouldn't move seats, even if the smell made them feel sick and there were other seats available?

where on earth do you get faecally incontinent from?

Yes, and I choose table seats if available. I'm sure you'll have an issue with that, which I am eager to hear. I don't care though, and won't change what I do.

What kind of socks do I need to use for this? I have some massive wool socks that you can't wear any shoes with ever, because they make your feet like, huge, ( but are great for wearing at home) or some of those little white trainer ankle sock things that disappear under your heel when you walk but make you feel like you're ready to break into a run or do some squat jumps at any moment, or how about just black cotton ankle socks, plain, size 3-6?

She sounds incredibly rude not you! I would probably have said I need the toilet but don’t like leaving my bags behind/unattended and moved in the direction of the toilets and then into another carriage

😂😂😂

OP, I think we sat across from the same woman on a train from Leeds to Sheffield. She was several feet away from me and smelt like a pile of long unwashed clothes. Only a young woman. I have friends as big, if not bigger than her, and they don't stink.

And now you've edited your post, I cant remember what else I need to do to check if OP was correct about large boon=bs on train table. Help!

*Boobs

You sound lovely. 🙄

I don’t either, but the way she did it with such glee - with all the huffing and puffing and dribbling her water and her tits touching the table - was really unpleasant and unnecessary.

^^ This.

From @Anyahyacinth. I responded to her post where she said to the OP:

'People can be incontinent faecally too, they can have to wear incontinence pads ...they may need to travel from one place to another. Your lack of understanding is appalling.'

That's an extremely detailed description to justify that you changed seats because somebody had body odour.

Almost as though it's about her appearance rather than anything else.

Did she have a pet billy goat or a 80" widescreen TV?

Nope not rude at all. My mum was on a flight recently and she said a couple sat in the seats next to her. They smelled awful, unwashed, dirty. She tried put up with it but it was unbearable. She discreetly passed a note to the cabin crew before take off, asking if there was a seat available elsewhere. Luckily the cabin crew came back a few minutes later to say there was another seat available. Mum explained to the couple she had a fear of window seats, to spare their feelings. It’s not unreasonable to want to enjoy your journey in comfort. Especially as you have paid for the privilege! Your reaction was correct, the fat woman just sounds like a rude cow. Don’t feel guilty.

YANBU.

The British way is for the leaver to get up with a politely blank face and make their exit with no comment, and the leavee to continue reading/looking at their phone/whatever with an equally politely blank face.
She breached this rule. She also seems to have a chip on her shoulder. Not your problem.

They would have been embarrassed at her behaviour, not yours. YANBU to choose not to sit next to someone who stinks. She clearly has a massive chip on her shoulder.

Cor, never mind fattie. Those look like well-fancy train tables. Whereabouts in the country are you? And are you in 1st class? I didn't think they let anyone over 10 stone 5 in there.

I have got up and moved if I can smell someone’s fetid body! Life is too short to inhale someone else’s filth! Irrelevant of their size, if someone stinks you are well within your rights to move!! I would have ignored anything she said and pretended I didn’t speak English! No explanation, just get up and find a more fragrant seat! You don’t have to justify your actions to anyone! Let’s face it, train fares are bloody expensive!!