Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

[SoberOctober2025]

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

I think when new trains are built they should build both individual pods, and areas of open seating. So people who want to see or even talk to others can do so and people who want to sit in their own bubble can do so too.

Have you got a diagram for that?

The smell is the issue and the apparently false accusation is the issue – nothing else is the issue, so it's not relevant.

Even if the woman accused OP of body shaming, OP didn’t need to give a play-by-play of her body to clarify what happened. The accusation can be addressed by saying “I moved because of the smell, not her size.” That’s all that’s relevant.
Adding detailed descriptions of her body doesn’t prevent speculation, it just shifts the story from defending herself to mocking someone’s appearance. The issue isn’t the mention of weight, it’s the way it was used and the tone it carried. You can correct a false accusation without turning the other person’s body into a spectacle.

Other poster's speculating on her actual size still wouldn't make it relevant if the accusation was false regardless.

Oh just clocked your username! Sorry my bad

Yes, this morning! And yesterday when i booked my tickets, i was able to choose seats with tables for 2 of 3 legs of both ways of my return journey. I chose to sit at a table on the 1st leg because 1) it was free, 2) it’s more comfortable, 3) essential work done for the day but had the table as an option if i needed to whip out the laptop and deal with something that came through that I couldn’t deal with on my phone, 4) it has plug sockets for my phone.

You’re really pissed off at my audacity in choosing to sit at an empty table 😂😂😂

I travel alone, and I don't use a laptop. But I still sit at a table if there's an option. It's less claustrophobic and just more pleasant. If I was alone at the table and a group of four boarded with nowhere to sit together, I'd offer to swap. But I don't see why, as a single person, I should make myself 'smaller' and less comfortable than someone in a couple or a group. I'm no less important.

But the vast majority of people travelling by train seem to be alone or in a couple, so I don't see the problem. More often than not I end up sharing the table with others anyway. But it's still better than having a pair of seats to myself.

That’s totally okay, I do enjoy a glass of fizz and would love one on a train, but Sober October is going great and no option on Irish trains anyway.

Sit at a table all you like but don't complain about who sits opposite. Life is full of choices.

Edited: I am a size 12 and if I slouch in tight jeans my tummy goes up, and my slightly large cupsize definitely sits on top.

Don’t be tempted. You’re doing really well as we are half way through October already.

Just read more of the thread and as a solo traveller myself I didn’t know it was not appropriate to sit at a seat with a table either 🙄. As far as I am concerned if you have a ticket you can sit anywhere that’s free and groups will need to suck it up.

Also stomach and breasts overhanging the table plus dribbling and smelly and breathing heavily over you does sound pretty grotesque so I don’t blame you for moving OP. I also do the same for noisy drunk people and have sometimes been challenged. Just let it go. Some people just like to fight so I ignore and walk away rather than make an excuse. If they persist though I would tell the truth. FGS if you use public transport being clean and not stinking of whatever is surely the least they can do. I don’t know why she picked a table seat as surely there is less room if you are bigger than average?

Sounds like the large lady is just overly sensitive and an ignorant cow!
If it were me I would of got up and moved straight away...I don't really care about BO or fatness but I am very antisocial and hate someone sitting near me when there are other options.
(Although OPs description of the lady is very.....pointed! Being approached by her sounded like the T rex intro in Jurassic Park!).😂

Don’t worry, not tempted at all, I take numerous months off of alcohol throughout the year, but I probably do enjoy good wine more than the average person when I am indulging!

Except you said “entirely factual, both stomach and breasts were on the table” and that’s a physical impossibility. Now you’re changing your story.
If this lady was as overweight as you said with such glee that she was, for her breasts to also be touching the table they’d have to be shaped like a U-shaped body pillow and about the same size so they could reach over or around her stomach to also touch the table.

Just… stop it. You’re being ridiculous.

This. Your only "crime" was explaining, or starting to. All you needed to do was say "that doesn't concern you" when she demanded to know why you were moving.

And if someone accused me of fat shaming I might be "compelled" to say "well there's an easy solution isn't there". Fatness is something that can be changed in the vast majority of cases. Even if the obvious answer to it has recently got a lot more expensive, thanks to Trump.

You don’t need to engage. Just get up quickly and move carriages. I did this yesterday when someone got on wearing very smelly work overalls - paint / turps I think. It made me feel sick.

I think a simple reply along the lines of, "it's not your appearance that is bothering me but rather your odor".

Obviously OP had to mention the woman was fat as it was the woman's main issue. Ridiculously easily offended people trying to make it impossible to use simple descriptions.

If true you should have replied whilst looking her in the eye, “I have no issue with anyone being overweight, but you madam stink to high heaven and are making me feel sick!”

That way anyone who takes a sniff in her direction will be fully on your side.

Wow you're boring as well as unable to comprehend a thread. The op has said, several times, that was the first train out of three that this happened on. She's also said she has been travelling since early this morning. So it would be safe to assume from all the details that maybe, just maybe she is taking a break from/has finished her work. But you carry on weirdly trying to catch her out 🤦‍♀️

Yes I also think its more than fine to sit at a table if you are solo although if I then saw a family group get on and there was somewhere to move to, I'd move. But I am generally on commuter trains where people are on their own or perhaps with a friend or family member

For some, sugar abuse can be, in a similar way to alcohol or drug abuse, a response to unresolved trauma.

Yes

OP don’t feel bad. I know the smell you mean, and you had to move.

I just hope that woman has a loved one who tells her she smells, so she can try and do something about it.

I’m actually finding it really amusing, it’s such a weird thing to take issue with it. Let’s see what @Redpeachhas to counter my last response to her! 😂

What did any of the unnecessary detail below have to do with anything?

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me.