Waiter Asked for my Number

[Turducken]

Out for dinner with grown up daughter, at a fairly fancy restaurant, just the two of us. The waiter was friendly and perhaps a little over-familiar, but I didn't think anything of it, just assumed he was trying to be nice and/ or angling for a tip. However, when I asked for the bill, he brought it along with a pen and paper and asked for my number. I felt so awkward I couldn't get out of there quick enough and, although I tried to laugh it off, I'm still thinking about whether I should complain? On the one hand, am I overreacting because I'm very socially awkward, so others would be less bothered, or am I right in thinking it's inappropriate and I should say something, as it put a bit of a dampener on a pleasant evening?

I'd complain, I hate that kind of thing.

Another one whose bar is in hell.

Same thing.

No. Of course not. Don't be silly.

Next?

Congrats. Nobody has ever asked for my number!!LOL😆

I had to pop out and there's a lot to read and reply to, I may not be able to reply individually, sorry, but I do really appreciate your time in letting me know your thoughts, it's been an education. I think it's important to note that him doing this all the time, having a bet with his mates, etc, is just a theory and I am aware I have no evidence of this. I'm not terribly worldly wise, I don't go out much and I can't remember if this has ever happened to me before, but certainly not in many years, which may explain why I am awkward/ overstressing about it. I wasn't flattered or thrilled about the compliment because, it turns out, I don't care what random men think about me. I don't want to get the guy in trouble, I think I just wanted him to be made aware that, for various reasons, some women just want to have a quiet meal and not have to think about the intentions of men they don't know. Perhaps by way of a general memo to all staff, I don't know. I was actually wondering about mentioning something without saying who it was, but I don't know, maybe I should let it go

As an old-fashioned person, how did people meet back in the day if not by approaching someone and asking for / slipping them your number?

I got asked out on a date by a waiter recently and I just laughed and pointed out that I have children older than him. Oh yes, and I'm very happily married. But, not going to lie, he did make my day. Bless him.

Why? Because he was asking for her number whilst he was meant to be working!

If he was standing at the bar as a fellow customer, then there’s not a lot you can do to prevent unwanted attention in that scenario other than ignore him.

As a manager, I’d definitely be reading him the riot act and either sack him if he’s still on probation or give him a written warning.

Women make up roughly 50% of the population, so how many female customers do you think a hospitality business can afford to lose? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Mind you don’t throttle yourself…….clutching those pearls so tightly!

You’ve still got it!

We are repeat customers, with our family, at a resort in the Caribbean. Last year a waiter slipped a note to our very pretty granddaughter, 18, asking for a date.
I mentioned this to my friend, head of housekeeping at the hotel, expecting that the lad would be ticked off and warned not to do it again.
My friend went ballistic. Apparently the staff are regularly warned about trying to form relationships with guests, the hotel puts a lot of time and money into such training,
The CCVT was used to identify the lad and he was dismissed.
Obviously I was upset to hear this but pleased that guests’ welfare, particularly that of the young ones, was taken seriously and inappropriate behaviour seriously discouraged.

But most women I know would never dream of ringing a man if he gave her their number.

Overstressing because someone left a pen and paper if you wanted to jot his number down is a bit extreme. This made up scenario you had in your head about it being a bet - well at least he lost the imagined bet so you can take comfort in that.

I understand about not wanting unasked for attention, I used to get propositioned many, many times in all sorts of scenarios and wasn’t always happy about it but you’re overthinking it too much and giving it too much time in your head.

I agree that if you do tell the manager make it unspecific and recommend they send a memo to all staff reminding them of the rules.

OP said he "asked" not "demanded"!

Well said. The internet, social media and OLD has a lot to answer for and is doing untold harm. It's making people uncomfortable about perfectly normal human face to face interactions like asking for someone's phone number. Heaven only knows where this trend is going to end.

🙌
Love this story 😁☺️❤️ !!!!!

🤣🤣🤣

What is 'distantly friends?' - did you go to the same church? Was he your best friend's neighbour? Was he the local shop keepers son? Was he a friend of a friend you only saw on NYE? 'Distantly friends' is vague.

How did you actually meet? How did he get your number?

He’s a waiter not a doctor in a professional capacity. He asked, you declined. Surely you just laugh about it later. Some people are very highly strung. He didn’t wolf whistle across the restaurant. Take the compliment or just ignore and move on but complaining? Get a grip.

Can't believe the posters who think it's a compliment. No it's not, it's an unwelcome intrusion and a numbers game for a certain type of sleezy or fraudulent man. Suddenly I'm not surprised there is so much romance fraud.

You're overreacting.
No wonder there's so much OLD now when people like yourself get offended by someone asking for your number. It would definitely be preferable to OLD for me. I think we need more men like him.

So women “open” to flirting need to wear a clear badge to show consent be anyone asks for a number. He was probably asking for her credit card and she’s over reaching.

Have you never watched a romance movie - there’s usually an instant attraction then they get to know each other.

Back in the day, people mostly met through friends, at work or in education. Very few met through random pickups.

The 'romance movie' comment sums up the rich seam of fantasy in this comment thread.