To go on holiday without kids?

[Toskiornottoskii]

I want to go skiing. Really as a family. Problem is DP doesn’t ski yet. Kids would be just turned 1 and just turned 4 in spring. So they would just be in ski crèche.

My latest idea is to do a 4 day midweek break. Leave the kids with grandparents. DP can learn how to ski.

This is potentially not the best for 1 yo. But would be heaven for the 4 year old.

If we wait until next year then we have reception/ school to contest with and I feel like we should be at home then as I don’t want grandparents having to get eldest to school.

Is this a bonkers idea?

If you clench your arse cheeks any more, your breakfast will come out of your mouth!

Shine that halo, clutch your pears and fluff your judgemental cushion a bit more!

You sanctimonious ...........

“Dumped at grandparents”? I’m sorry your parents aren’t a good place for your kids, and you hated being with your grandparents.

My daughter is 16 now, she arranges with her granny when she will visit her for the holidays. She’s arranged to spend the first week of this holiday with her Auntie, I had nothing to do with it. She has always spent time with relatives over the holiday for various reasons. There is no “dumping” involved, she has a fabulous time with them. We’ve taken a few trips without her, doing things she isn’t able to do, or to do an recce to see if they will be any good for a family trip. She also comes on holidays with us. She has never whines about us going “off on our jollies” in fact, she says we should do it more. We tend not to because we do actually prefer her to explore places with us, but in this situation, I wouldn’t hesitate.

Any more dangerous than flying? Driving? Mountaineering? Diving?

I've never understood that phrase. What is the point of having cake and not eating it? And can't see anything wrong with it either.

There’s nothing wrong with parents having a break for 4 days whilst the children are with grandparents, just because OP is a mother doesn’t mean she can never do anything for herself!

If you have grandparents you can trust then its an amazing idea. Investing in your relationship is great for your family and its something that is all too easy to neglect with young kids. If your husband is sporty he can easily get to an okish standard in 4 days. Ski holidays are without a doubt one of the ways to spend time together if you enjoy that sort of thing.

I think leaving small children for an extended period is selfish. It's putting what you want before your children. Do you think they don't wonder where their parents are, miss them or are anxious for them to be back the whole time they are gone.

Another performance martyr

If the grandparents are shit (maybe also performance martyrs) then you'd have a point but fortunately most people have loving, adoring grandparents ready spoil them rotten and have lovely experiences and make memories to last for ever.

It’s such a stupid phrase and using it in situations like this only highlight it more, how dare you have children AND have your own wants and desires, don’t you know once you are a parent you are a slave to their wants and needs alone? No wonder behaviour is such an issue in schools these days.

That is a terrible way to look at it. Going on family holidays together is not sacrificing anything. Most parents actually enjoy their children being there to experience these things too.

Not wanting to dump your kids off to someone else whilst holidaying doesn't make you a martyr.

BREAKING: You can go on holiday as a couple AND as a family. You don't have to sacrifice the former to do the latter.

Shocking, I know.

And yes, it does make you a martyr. And a bit of a mug, really.

Another one clutching her arse, judging those who dare have a life.

4 days - an extended period???

Seriously what about nurses who work 4 back to back nights or 3 back to back long days??

Are they selfish?

And she sounds such a happy and secure person for it…

'Another performance martyr'

Jesus do you look all read from the same handbook.

I think it is selfish. That is my opinion. If you could genuinely enjoy your wine of an evening knowing you have a 1 year old at home wondering where the fuck you are or have been for the last few nights then more power to you. Many people wouldn't.

Everyone saying “dumped” with grandparents is so bloody melodramatic. I loved spending time with my grandparents! I never thought I was dumped anywhere, I thought “sucks to be my parents that they don’t get to spend a week doing fun stuff with these totally cool people”

Selfish for leaving children with their own grandparents? The people who raised the adult, the own OP’s mother and father? Not everyone has parents or families they can trust but if you do its fabulous. I used to spend 2 weeks with my grandparents every summer and I loved every second of it and I have beautiful memories, I don’t even remember missing my parents I just remember my beautiful time with my loving grandparents

Why wouldn't you be able to enjoy yourself knowing your child was spending a wonderful few days with their grandparents?

Does you DP actually want to go or have you decided that he MUST learn to ski?

I dated someone who loved skiing and tried to persuade me non stop to go on a holiday with him despite me telling him non stop I had zero interest. If your DP isn’t interested, why not go with friends and let him have his own hobbies

Yes 4 days is an extended period to be away from small children. OP has a 1 year old and a 4 year old.

You can't compare someone who has to work to choosing to go away without them.

No problem at all with child free holidays. Went away for a week during the summer and left DC's with Grandparents, a 2 year old and 1 year old twins. They had a great time, as did we.

Might rethink the skiing thing though, sounds like DH isn't really interested.

Sure, if he wants to learn to ski. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Personally, I think it would be easier when children are a bit older, 2/5 or 3/6 as they’ll be easier for grandparents to manage, and I assume would both be in nursery/school then. I’ve found it’s much easier to leave dc with someone not used to parenting small children when they get a break during the day.

I’d probably just go on your own if you want to ski though. I’ve travelled loads when mine were little and left them with Dh. I went to Australia for 2 weeks when eldest was 16 months. And I walked a camino for 9 days when they were in primary school. It was great. It was much easier to leave them with dh though than to sort out someone else to look after them.

Small children want their parents above all. This isn't controversial.

My husband went to Russia for a week with work when my son was 4, the day he was coming home, I said excitedly, Daddys home tonight, he looked at me blank - why where has he been!!

Yet you've judged me for not sharing your opinion. Ironic, no?