To go on holiday without kids?

[Toskiornottoskii]

I want to go skiing. Really as a family. Problem is DP doesn’t ski yet. Kids would be just turned 1 and just turned 4 in spring. So they would just be in ski crèche.

My latest idea is to do a 4 day midweek break. Leave the kids with grandparents. DP can learn how to ski.

This is potentially not the best for 1 yo. But would be heaven for the 4 year old.

If we wait until next year then we have reception/ school to contest with and I feel like we should be at home then as I don’t want grandparents having to get eldest to school.

Is this a bonkers idea?

And I tried I did I really tried but skiing is shit. It really is dangerous cold and awful.

I find it's the 35+ brigade that can't put their precious career on hold for 5 minutes or forgo a skiing holiday or business trip. You're just being snobby about the destination.

If he has no interest in skiing then he shouldn’t be made to ski. If that is actually the case then maybe look at resorts that have options to fill his day. It’s possible that he and the 4 year old could have lessons together but equally it’s likely you will all be spending the morning in different places if he is learning to ski and if he’s not then he and the baby will be together with you off skiing solo and your 4 year old in classes.

And it would be happening year after year I assume to get both kids to your level. So it’s not just one big expensive holiday.

I’m afraid he’s got to want to do it and I know you think 4 days might sell it to him but that is just another expense to add. Maybe if you are able to save the money and say I have the money for it, will you come now?

I can see the dream is to go with the kids and can understand that. It’s just tricky to sell it to him (and I’m a bit on his side and I skied a fair bit as a kid).

My husband is an accomplished skier and he went every year when the children were young. He took all three aged 8,10 ,14 ,I stayed at home with the dog ! The two youngest who are adults now are very confident skiers .

I agree cold skiing is awful. It’s been a long time since I went. Traditionally as children we used to go before Easter and my favourite memories were of burying an orangina into a snow pile. Going up, skiing down in a T-shirt, and popping the top off the orangina when I got back down. Sit and enjoy with a Ritter bar. Pure bliss!

My sister tells me you can’t do that these days and Easter skiing is dodgy for snow and everyone wears helmets. No ski sunglasses tan 😎

Go for it... my children always have a blast at my parents' house. Skiing as a family is lots of fun. We are all at different ability levels so usually we go for our different ski lessons in the mornings and then ski together on the easy slopes after lunch. I'm trying to make them learn snow boarding with me this year.

Not sure why you're feeling it's now or never, it sounds like it's just a bit early for the family trip you're looking forward to. Do you have a friend you can go with and then your partner stay home - sounds like a better option for the 1 year old to be cared for at home with Dad if he isn't actually that keen to go.

Don't be so jealous of older mothers who didn't rush into motherhood and know to balance work and home life.

Having a career is being an excellent role model for their children. You sound really bitter, did you have your children too young or something? And you are jealous of mums who don't give up on their life and identity when they have kids, so their children can be proud of them?

Ok so when did you last go skiing?

becuase this strikes me as trying to recreate something from your childhood rather than trying to figure out new memories for your new family

can you do a day skiing just the two of you to work out why

because genuinely I hated all the people the most I think decent snow and few people I would have taken to it but it was overcrowded (and tried cheap Bulgaria/standard Austria/expensive Canada and snow has changed

I would wait until your youngest is a little older to leave him for a jolly like that. This isn't a "now or never" situation. There's plenty of chance to have a skiing holiday with them when they are a better age for it.

Go with a friend or family member who enjoys skiing. The DC might hate it, go now.

God some of the posters on here are ridiculous. Of course you can have holidays without your children. We’ve had child-free weekends away (both together and separately) since our children were toddlers. What are you supposed to do for all these child-free weddings for a start? 🤣 Before anyone says anything, we have great relationships with them now.

Another perspective is that children benefit from strong relationships with the wider family. When they’re teens, it might be a grandparent or aunt that they turn to for help when the relationship with their parents is just too much. My kids have had a weeks “holiday” staying with their grandparents every year since they were toddlers. They all love the time together and look forward to it every year. They have a beautiful relationship now. That time has been precious to all involved (including us who very much needed a break!).

I say go for it!

You could do that. Or you could wait until they’re a bit older, say 7 or 8) before spending that kind of money and make memories that they might actually remember.

Another new and unusual way to have a dig at older parents.

This is fine, leaving your kids for a few days with their grandparents so you can have a few days as a couple is a normal thing to do imo 🤷‍♀️

I left my dd for a week when she was 2 and 3yo to go on holiday with friends, she had a holiday with her grandparents and everyone was happy.

It’s okay to be selfish at times, you are important as well! You don’t have to be a martyr to your kids.

Yes do it. We’ve had a holiday each year without kids and it’s amazing. We have adults now but our long weekend or week away without them was always very much looked forward too and enjoyed. And the kids and grandparents loved their time too

Why not go as a family together? Your DH could try cross-country skiing, take the kids for walks on sledges or on snowshoes while you ski? Ice skating. Then meet up all together for lunch or dinner? If it is just 3-4 days it won't be boring that not all members of your family hit the slopes?
I get it, those who ski, love love love winter holidays and you should not drop it just because you had the kids.

Only you know your children and your family well enough to decide if this is a good idea or not! I left my (at the time) 2.5 year old with my sister for a week while my husband and I went away and DC and my sister had a blast together! My husband and I had the most relaxing week away and my DC was absolutely fine while we were away (7 nights I think) and DC seems very unscarred by the experience :) (always asking when she can have her auntie over). We're going away for a few nights soon and leaving my 1 year old and 4 year old at home with my sister again (this time midweek for 3 nights as 2 children a lot more to juggle :). We're only going 20 minutes away tbf. Last year, we took my (at the time) 3.5 year old and 5 month old away skiing and we all had a great time. The 3.5 year old did 2 hours of ski school a day and we took turns looking after the baby. I agree that skiing before the madness of school holidays is a good idea.

How is this even controversial

You want a 4 day break from your kids and have grandparents to care for them

Just go for it

Feels like you’re pushing this on your partner. He won’t learn much in 4 days. Go alone, have fun, and when the kids are older go together, I’m sure plenty of families started skiing together with one parent needing lessons. I don’t get this “now or never” mentality.

But I don’t find anything wrong with leaving the kids, DH and I have gone on several holidays without the kids, the difference was though that they were holidays we both wanted to go on!

So you want to take a 1 yr old and 4 yr old skiing? I mean how much fun is that going to be?

You say they will be in ski crèche. What does that mean? That you are going to get someone else to look after them while you and DP go off on the slopes?

I mean leaving your kids with grandparents for 4 days isn’t really an issue but leaving them with strangers in a ski resort would be (for me anyway).

Surely it would be better to take them when they are older?

I don't there is an issue leaving children with grandparents for a weekend if grandparents are happy with it.
But your DP doesn't sound very keen on this. Has he done some ski lessons in the snow domes to know if he even likes it. I wanted to book a ski holiday, DH very sensibly suggested we visit a snow dome first to see if I actually liked skiing. Turned out I bloody hated it, so that avoided us spending several thousands on a holiday we would have hated. Yes, if course it will be better on a mountain with beautiful scenery, but ultimately if he doesn't like skiing he doesn't like skiing,regardless where it is.

A 1 year old wouldn't get much out of it, maybe take then in a few years when 4 and 7. And for now go with a friend, and DH get competent in snow domes if he wishes

Because I think the OP is building up skiing from when she was little and most importantly her partner hasn’t skied before

a weekend break away fine - this could be different

skiing is like marmite you either love it or hate it!

funnily enough the 4 year old is at a perfect age to learn

my advice leave the 1 year old and the 3 of you go to a snow dome or dry ski slope and decide if you like it or not

and work out what it is about skiing!

How do the grandparents feel about it?

If I were the DP here, this isn't how I would want to use precious child free time away

I think it’s going to depend on the grandparents. My child and parents would have found this a bit much and no one would have enjoyed it, but that’s my family, not yours. Have they spent 3 days solo parenting before? How was it?

Also is the 1 yr old just 1, or nearly 2. Do they go to nursery?

I have seen lots of families do skiing holidays together once the kids are a bit older so it definitely can be achieved. And I think you’re right to get your DP involved asap. But just be aware he may never love it like you do! And that it might possibly be a bit to soon for a solo holiday for your 1yr old this year.