To go on holiday without kids?

[Toskiornottoskii]

I want to go skiing. Really as a family. Problem is DP doesn’t ski yet. Kids would be just turned 1 and just turned 4 in spring. So they would just be in ski crèche.

My latest idea is to do a 4 day midweek break. Leave the kids with grandparents. DP can learn how to ski.

This is potentially not the best for 1 yo. But would be heaven for the 4 year old.

If we wait until next year then we have reception/ school to contest with and I feel like we should be at home then as I don’t want grandparents having to get eldest to school.

Is this a bonkers idea?

Get him an intensive course at a snow dome so that he is competent before you go on a skiing holiday. Lots of people learn as adults especially at snow domes so they can actually be skiing on holiday rather than learning.

@Toskiornottoskii can you find you own “family thing” wether it’s a snowy country and a coal fire and sledging every winter .

I know we all get nostalgic, however it may not be all you think it’s going to be .
Id go alone this year and see how you feel about the ski-ing part , meanwhile getting dh on the dry slopes at home .

If you had said dc age 1 would be fine then I’d say take dh this year and leave kids with your mum .

I disagree with everyone saying that a solo or child free break is somehow unreasonable, but personally I think 1 is a bit young to leave a child for more than 1-2 nights (and might be difficult for the grandparents to manage). If I were you I'd wait a few years until the kids are old enough to be put into a kids ski school, accept that the first holiday doing that might not be much fun and will be expensive, but reap the rewards long term. In the meantime see if you can go with some friends for 4 nights whilst your husband has the kids.

Why’s this thread turning into young mums v older mums, does it matter??! Some bitchy comments upthread. Not all older mums are selfish and gung Ho about holidays n experiences etc and not all younger mums put everything on hold to just parent, soooo judgmental, everyone’s different.

I definitely agree with the poster earlier on getting your husband to do a full course at snow dome or dry slope (at least 4 lessons). Even with that, 3/4 days may not be enough for him to get the 'bug' (unless he's one of those annoyingly brilliant people who seem to pick up any sport really easily!). It was only during our third ski holiday that my husband starting really enjoying it! So a trip just the two of you might be a bit frustrating / lonely for both of you.

Are there other skiing friends / couples you could go with, so you can ski properly with company while he has lessons? Or if they have kids too, they could come along and you could swop in and out on childcare?

When my eldest was one years old, we did a successful ski trip with my sister and her husband. We got a spacious & reasonably priced ski in ski out apartment in Obertauern, and we split the day into three equal parts, so each day I, DP and my sister, looked after my son for a couple of hours, while the other two skied together and then we swopped over (My sister's DH was new to skiing and having lessons). PM me if you want the apartment details!

Alternatively you could wait till the kids are both of an age to learn, but then you are tied to the super expensive and busy school holidays! So I do think there is some sense in your DP learning while you can still take advantage of going in term time.

Your DP isn't going to become a competent skier in 4 days.

Do you have a friend or a family member you can go on a short break with first? It sounds like you've got rose-tinted glasses about skiing breaks. Go one one, see if you still enjoy it now, then start trying to get the rest of the family onboard if you do.

Complaining about bitchiness and judgment whilst being bitchy and judgemental 🤣

Not true, my DH (admittedly a sporty person in general) tried skiing for the first time a couple of years ago. At the end of day 3, we did exactly this, going right to the top of the mountain and down a red slope, he absolutely loved it and now it’s him who keeps pushing for skiing holidays.

Normally I don’t really like people going on holiday without children. It smacks of wanting your cake and eating it too. But I actually think this would be OK.

parents in their 30s and 40s get plenty of hate too. But in any case, I disagree; it’s usually the younger parents who do this. Not because they are inherently selfish but because their own parents are young enough!

I would go on your own or with an equally competent friend, to be honest. Skiing as a competent adult with a learner is really frustrating and you won't enjoy it anywhere near as much as you think you will.

Just go and enjoy it. Your kids will be fine. They are far more resilient than we think plus they’ll have forgotten you ever went away.

It’s not remotely selfish to want to ski and to not take your kids yet. It’s also not remotely selfish to go on your own

BUT you need to accept that not everyone want to ski or likes skiing. I’ve been skiing twice as an adult. It’s 2 weeks of my life I’ll never get back. I absolutely HATED it. We were in a lovely resort with great weather. It was stunning but I absolutely hated the skiing and I will never ever go back. However, my kids love it. My husband took them on his own and now they go with friends and with uni, but me, no never and it’s perfectly possible your husband will feel the same. I do think it’s something you neee to start as a teen / child. Not as an adult

Much more expensive option with more inconvenience and hugely costly is to take whole family away. 4yo has lessons in creche. Dp has lessons. Gp look after 1yo and enjoy a snowy holiday...

I’d do it if the grandparents and the kids would be ok with a week. You’re not going to make a skier out of DH on 4 day trip and there’s more risk he’ll hate it if he never gets over that beginner hump. I reckon you’re also likely over estimating your own abilities if you haven’t skied since helmets became a thing and that some refresher lessons might be in order… So you might also need a week to get properly back into it.

Then whatever you do now I’d plan to go as a family for a proper week in 2 years time, so long as DH is onboard of course. 3YOs can go to ski school/snow crèche and 3 and 6 as your kids will be then are great ages to start learning. This vision you have of skiing together as a family won’t happen for some years yet so I wouldn’t worry about DH’s ability for that. The kids definitely need proper lessons and under age 5 they’re usually too knackered to ski again afterwards so we tend to stick to lazy afternoons. I’m hopeful we might reach that point with our youngest this winter when he’ll be 5 and it’ll be his 4th time skiing.

That’s not true. I had one 3-hour lesson aged 32 (my first ever time skiing) and after that was skiing solo on blue slopes in Switzerland and Japan. Some people do take to it easily

Do you have any friends or relatives that like to ski, could you go on a trip with them?

My DH goes on a lads ski trip each year, we’ve tried every combo of family and couple ski trips and this works best for us.

Plenty of people do, I think it's selfish.

I'm glad my childhoods memories consist of being on holiday with my parents, not dumped at grandparents whilst they were off on their jollies.

I feel the opposite. My parents never did anything for themselves when I was a kid and I wish they did. They’re now miserable boring OAPs and I don’t remotely respect them for martyring themselves at the altar of parenthood. I wish they’d modelled adventure and independence to me at a young age. I’m adventurous and independent now but it took a while for me to get there.

Why’s it selfish to have four days for yourself once a year or whatever?

I had a ski-ing honeymoon with my non ski-ing husband. He did lessons in the morning, we ski-d together in the afternoon. He never became an avid skier but he enjoyed the trip. Had my daughter been able to accompany us, we would have later done a ski holiday with her. I think it’s a good idea to see how he gets on with it. If he hates it, no harm done. If he loves it, he can find an indoor ski slope here to build his skills for future trips. I wouldn’t recommend doing it the other way round though, indoor ski slopes are no comparison to a decent proper ski-slope.

Well, I'm glad my parents weren't daft enough to sacrifice their own enjoyment and hobbies just because they decided to have a child.

I have no respect for people who martyr themselves for their kids.

I think a childfree holiday is fine, but I wouldn’t waste it on an activity one of you really actually may not like.

Why not just go alone and leave your husband with the children? Or go with a friend who skis and have fun.

You can still go as a family later and he can take lessons. There are also lots of ski resorts with options for non skiers.

I’m glad my childhood consisted of time spent with my grandparents alone, but more importantly seeing my parents had their own lives which in turn made me respect them more as people and have the confidence to prioritise my own happiness on occasion as an adult. I certainly sound a little less bitter than you that’s for sure!