To go on holiday without kids?

[Toskiornottoskii]

I want to go skiing. Really as a family. Problem is DP doesn’t ski yet. Kids would be just turned 1 and just turned 4 in spring. So they would just be in ski crèche.

My latest idea is to do a 4 day midweek break. Leave the kids with grandparents. DP can learn how to ski.

This is potentially not the best for 1 yo. But would be heaven for the 4 year old.

If we wait until next year then we have reception/ school to contest with and I feel like we should be at home then as I don’t want grandparents having to get eldest to school.

Is this a bonkers idea?

DH and I left our 1 year old twins (plus 2 year old) for a week over the summer and they were absolutely fine. They have a close relationship with Grandparents and loved spending a week with them.

😂That's cute. But I'm sure he'd have been glad to see you had it been 4 nights.

Yes this is my eldest 🤣 it is cute how much he loves them.

They are putting their kids first - by making sure they're well cared for by relatives while they go off, rest, relax and look after themselves.

You can't be a good parent if you never take time out.

Hahahahahaha No what it demonstrates is a child who is happy and secure and like most children, is secure when his needs are being met, whether that is by me or his dad,

So once again take your judgemental little backside back to where it came from!

OP I was like you. Had been skiing lots as a youngster and then with friends as an adult. When I met my DH he had never been skiing and, although he loves the cold, the outdoors and sports, was reluctant to try it because he had a job which relies on his medical status and he was worried about getting hurt. I finally managed to drag him on a holiday where we had a few days of skiing in a cheap Eastern European country followed by another week/10 days of travelling. My rationale was that if he hated skiing it wouldn’t be the whole holiday. He absolutely LOVED IT! He was doing parallel turns on day 1 after half a day of lessons (which cost £30 an hour!). After 3 trips he’s now as competent as me and I’ve been skiing for over 20 years. We’re both in our late 30s. My point is that it isn’t a given that your DH will still be hopeless after a week of learning. You also don’t need to be spending £6k on a ski holiday, particularly for a complete beginner, that’s nuts.

The big difference between us is that I don’t have kids. I can see that leaving yours behind for a few days might be tough but I agree that it’s a great investment for their future holidays. If you’re not taking them, it’s even easier for you to head to Poland/Slovenia/Bulgaria and have a more reasonably priced trip!

Least I am admitting I am judging you?

None of us can live up to @IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland none of us are worthy, we cannot possible imagine the sacrifices she has had to make.

You know full well going on holiday without your kids isn't putting your kids first, whatever way you wrangle it.

'You can't be a good parent if you never take time out.' I'm sure people have managed to be good parents for the last few thousand years without 4 day long trips away. But I agree everyone needs time to themselves to avoid burn out, how long that time is, is up for debate.

The last hen do I went on was 2 nights away. Everyone was desperate to get back to their kids and felt it was too long.

I think you need to grow up.

So you left your kids for two days but are happy to leap on OP for leaving hers for four? Why is what you did acceptable but what OP plans to do selfish?

Interesting.

There’s nothing wrong with being selfish though. Perhaps if more people realised the joy of it they wouldn’t be so embittered.

What will you do if DH hates skiing?

I'll do that when I book another child free trip - to enjoy time with my husband, child free, daytime drinks, afternoon sex, long lie ins

Exactly. Nobody respects a martyr, either.

Your said your child didn't even notice his dad had been away for 4 nights. Sounds like an uninvolved father to me if not being around to the point of it being unnoticeable is the norm.

Tbh, if skiing is such a passion you want to do it every family holiday, you'd probably have been better to have married a keen skiier as having to shell out for that year after year would be my (and a lot of other people's) nightmare. Then there's the added potential of your DC not being you, so may well dislike or be ambivalent to it as well. If I were you I'd go alone rather than bank on your husband catching the passion.

The ages of the children involved and the amount of time away is relevant. This has been my argument from the start.

I'd also point out attending the hen do of a close friend is practically an obligation, going on a family holiday without your kids is not.

LOL. Because people with kids over a certain age can't do these things either.

This gets better and better. You really are jumping to lots of conclusions there - careful you don't get whiplash

My husband and son who go to watch the football together and have done for years, who did their dive training together.

He didn't know his dad was away, because he was in school during the day - sorry I know I should have home schooled him - walk home from school, play, tea, bath, bed by 7 - his needs were being met,

You haven’t said that he actually wants to learn to ski, just that you need him to for future holidays. So it would depend on whether or not he wanted that to be the future holidays.

I have taken lots of breaks without my DC but I usually leave them with their Dad. I wouldn’t have them with grandparents or anything that would disrupt their routine.

When my DC were this kind of age I went on a solo ski trip, left DH at home with the kids. I went with The Ski Gathering that specials in solo ski trips - shared a chalet with a good mix of people/ages/ski experience. I mixed up time skiing with them and time on my own. Honestly it was one of my favourite ski holidays!

Hang on - you've banged on and on about how selfish it is to go away with your partner, but it's somehow fine to go and celebrate a hen do?

Either you're a huge hypocrite or you're massively bored and on the wind-up.

And didn't notice him not being there in the evenings either. You said it, not me.

Which part are you missing?

GOING ON HOLIDAY FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME WHEN YOU HAVE SMALL CHILDREN IS SELFISH. In my opinion.

Hope that clears it up.