I don't like how people tend to speak to their children

[BeWaryFinch]

Fairly sure if another adult spoke to you the way that you speak to your children you would not like it. 'put your shoes on now' 'go to bed now' 'get in the car now' many other examples, or changing your tone of voice to be different than if you were speaking to another adult. Why do parents do this.

JFC OP, you don’t need to tell us you don’t have a child, that’s very apparent.

So you put your kids shoes in a bag… how will they walk to school? And how will you persuade them to leave the house? Do you genuinely think us parents are here just criticising school all the time and that’s why kids don’t want their shoes on?!

OP has said she doesn't have kids ,and her magical method of getting kids to comply is to bribe them with chocolate.

Like I say, I’ve told them to do things in no uncertain terms, but no, I’ve never spoken to them in a way that I wouldn’t speak to other adults. I wouldn’t yell or be rude to another adult and I don’t do that to DC either.

Oh, so you obviously tell other adults to do things in no uncertain terms then, yes? You're authoritative with your colleagues...your mum... Your husband...

Nice...

I smell bullshit

What an interesting 'what three words' username to accompany a post bound to annoy.

No kids? Knows it all? Chocolate bribes?
Marvellous.

they're normally drop a bomb and run though...

Lol… clutching at straws there. I’ll tell DC to please put their shoes on because we’re going to school now. No, I don’t talk to my mum that way, because she doesn’t need asking to put her shoes on and she doesn’t go to school!

The shoe is just an example. I could have been “wash up now”

Sorry but I don’t understand the rest of your comment.

Try being a single mum to five under ten. Never mind 'speaking shortly' or 'issuing directives', you're heading for sainthood if you just don't lose your utter shit at least twice a day.

But you just said that you wouldn't speak to them in a way you wouldn't speak to adults. But also said you speak to them in no uncertain terms. Rather implying your firm with them and insisting that they do something.

So that means you would speak to adults in the same manner.

But now you wouldn't...?

But it's good for you that you're a perfect parent that has never once snapped at your children, never made a mistake in tone, never once shown any signs of frustration, never ever made a mistake. Well done. Gold medal.

Shouting and commanding kids has become so normal that many think it “works.” Sure, it gets short term results, but it teaches fear, not respect.

After the children are morbidly obese from all the chocolate bribes, how do you persuade them to take Ozempic?

Anyway, you keep shouting at your kids if you like. It makes them upset and unhappy and so you get upset and unhappy - it’s an ever decreasing circle. Break the cycle and treat your kids with respect and understanding - trust me, you will be far happier!

Aye, it just seemed to have it all!

Anyone who admits they dont have kids & yet comes to tell parents they don't like how they parent and they can do it much better with chocolate is on a wind up tho.

Thank you! 🥇 Night night folks!

the OP said she looks after her friends child who she spends a lot time with. It’s not as if she has no experience with children

I think it's not how you speak to them, it's about being there, being trusted, caring for them and keeping them safe. Sometimes having a parent who is in control makes them feel secure.
I've said "FFS pick the bloody towels up" and "FFS tidy this room" to my kids and yet here I am, sat all evening with my 3 adults DC and all their partners on a Saturday night, as they love being here, love being in my company and each others.
We are all just doing our best. Gentle parenting wasn't really for me, it felt a bit too forced. Somehow we got there.

Do you have children? I have 2 and my 8 year old does not listen. I will ask him to put his shoes in and he will just sit there. Take him to the bathroom to brush his teeth before bed and he will literally stand by the sink and expect me to tiger the brush, toothpaste and brush his teeth for him. He's an amazing kid, but doesn't see the rush to do the most basic things.

We are their parents and they learn from us. When we ask 32 times, it get to the point where we need to be direct so that they learn to be independent. If it was edding and blinding, then of course that's wrong, but being direct is sometimes needed when dealing with our little darlings.

Well yes, but kids usually behave better for other people. It's because they aren't certain of them - they've got a pretty good idea that their parents aren't going to walk out and leave them unsocked and unfed, but they can't be absolutely SURE that someone unrelated might not just do it.

Why would I be disappointed? I couldn't care less how fat they are.

I was a teacher for over 10 years before I had a child, I had 13 nephews and nieces, I had a lot of experience with children. But I was in no way prepared for the challenges and demands of actually being the parent. It is in no way comparable.

Well, quite apart from the fact that all this supposed childcare experience has translated into the parenting guru ‘gotcha’ of bribing a six year old into a car with chocolate, I’m more interested in why the OP, who isn’t a professional nanny, but apparently doesn’t have a job, but and instead hangs around the six year old’s house all day while the parent WFH.

Fuck me, there’s a couple of infuriatingly smug people on this thread. Including the OP.

I’d characterise the OP as ‘deluded’ rather than ‘smug’.