I don't like how people tend to speak to their children

[BeWaryFinch]

Fairly sure if another adult spoke to you the way that you speak to your children you would not like it. 'put your shoes on now' 'go to bed now' 'get in the car now' many other examples, or changing your tone of voice to be different than if you were speaking to another adult. Why do parents do this.

I’ve certainly been authoritative - but I’ve never yelled at my child. I don’t understand people who yell at their kids then ask why their kids act up. Isn’t it obvious?

I agree. But OP is very smug and preachy about her child whispering abilities when she simply used bribery.

Because you said you agreed with the op and in order to get the child to do as she wanted she bribed them with chocolate.
I didn’t just pluck that question from mid air.

I'm sure you've never ONCE ever snapped at anyone in your entire life...

I don't think changing my ADHD kids bedroom "more appealing" will magically shut their brain down a nf stop them having 300,000 whizzing thoughts run through their head.

I don't want to go to the supermarket either thanks, I'm tired, it boring, it's busy and noisy and stressful.... It guess what.....I have to go and so does DD. I can't just allow her to stay at home alone.

I read the OP and saw no mention in their post of bribing with chocolate.

home deliveries. Make accommodations for your child

Perhaps the OP mentioned bribing with chocolate later on, but it wasn’t in their original post - and that’s all I read before contributing to this thread.

The OP wrote more than one post. You can see them all by clicking ‘see all’.

Goady MN post 101

Is there a full moon tonight?

I don’t think it’s a given that people will or should do that when replying to threads.

😂😂😂😂

OP: "Bribery can speed things up but I wouldnt use it to make a child do something they really didnt want to do."
Also OP: I bribed a child to make them get ina car.

So which is it OP? Are you an advocate for making kids do stuff or not... ?

if they actually wanted to get in the car, why did you need to bribe them? Surely you could have just got down to their level, talked to them nicely and with patience and they would have happily got into the car... You would never have bribed an adult...

And if they didn't actually want to get in the car... why did you bribe them? Why didn't you take time to understand the reasons behind them not wanting to get in...why did you make them do it anyway? You would never have made an adult get in the car...

It’s clearly there in their second post. Why on earth would you think I’d ask such a stupid question if the op hadn’t said it

I understand why people don’t always read the whole thread, but I think if you want to make a helpful contribution you really need to have read all of the OP’s posts.

Hehe.

Well OP has stated that changing your tone, asking a child to put their shoes on or even talking to them in any way you would not speak to a fellow adult is unacceptable.

I think, in OP's eyes, even being authoritative with a child is as you say speaking to them 'like dirt.'

Aldi don't do home delivery. It's more expensive to shop at the other supermarket and have them deliver.

Lol your kids must be the size of a house.

So you believe they should be spoken to like adults and have autonomy but say they’re not adults and can’t have any demands put on them. Your entire argument is full of flaws and contradictions. If I were to have bribed my DC when they were younger with chocolate every time I needed them to do something then they’d have quickly realised they just need to not do anything and they’ll get bribes. Kids need boundaries specifically because they’re not capable of being adults yet and making all sort of decisions for themselves. Otherwise they wouldn’t need to live with their parents for so long to survive. Sure there’s times when they can and should have input but there’s plenty of times where they just need to be told. The same goes for adults in many cases.

I've got my son better drilled than my husband in this regard.

If I say we're going out he runs around packing the pram with drinks and snacks, and brings me out shoes and jackets.

I WISH my husband were that efficient.

If "demand" means "make them do things they don't want to then errr, I've genuinely no idea how that's possible.

If I let my daughter do exactly what she wants:

• regularly late to school/ nursery
• go out without shoes/ coat
• run into road due to not holding hands
• dirty due to no bath
• possibly dead due to not demanding she spit out choking hazards

I mean seriously. I get down to eye level, I speak calmly respectfully I apologise when I make mistakes, I leave time for independence, I give autonomy where possible but sometimes things need doing.

When my husband is faffing and we risk missing our booked train, I demand he leave the house too. No shame.

do You have kids op?
because when it’s 7am, you’ve asked them 6-7 times to do something, they’ve point blank not listened. Bearing in mind you started nicely by saying something like ‘ honey, it’s time to put your shoes on …. It’s now 20 minutes later and your almost late for school drop off… you bet your bottom dollar that gentle parenting is going out the window and they suddenly listen when you lose your preverbial shit, to then turn around and ask why your so mad. Parenting ain’t for the weak.

So....you've NEVER ONCE snapped, made mistakes in words or tomez spoken in a less than wonderful manner, never once lost your patience?

Every interaction with your children has been perfect and beyond criticism?

🤨

Sorry to disappoint, but no - they’re not!

This is hilarious! It’s so obvious you don’t have children of your own 😆 How old are you OP? Your kids are going to end up very overweight with bad teeth if you’re going to bribe them with chocolate every time you want them to do something.