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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour fall out

134 replies

beachcitygirl · 10/10/2025 04:57

we Live in a private road in a small and well to do area where everyone has dogs. I’m terrified of dogs. Yesterday my neighbour laughed when her large dog (off the leash ) jumped on my disabled child (whilst in wheelchair) I absolutely lost my shit and sufficient to say all is not well. Willing to admit I reacted vehemently and shouted at her and dog but am I in the wrong ?

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 10/10/2025 05:11

All the people who hate dogs will say YANBU and all the people who love dogs will say YABU.

For the sake of living happily in your little community you could approach the neighbour and say you're sorry about reacting so forcefully but you are afraid of dogs and would appreciate it if they would put their dog on a lead if you are around in future. You'll probably find she apologises for her part in it too. If not, I guess you'll have a future of skulking past each other and feeling uncomfortable.

Original poster
beachcitygirl · 10/10/2025 05:13

@Isittimeformynapyet I suspect you are spot on.

OP posts:
chunkybear · 10/10/2025 05:19

I love dogs, but what a bizarre way for the neighbour to react to their dog jumping up to a child in a wheelchair?! I’d be mortified if my dog, who is a medium sized female, did this as even as 22kg she’s pretty heavy when she jumps up excited to see people so YANBU from a dog lover

Original poster
beachcitygirl · 10/10/2025 05:23

I am absolutely willing to admit that the dog did no actual harm and that seems to be the sticking point with neighbours (oh he’s a lovely dog, just excited to say hello) and I’m the paranoid bitch.
(which I am) but surely to god dog owners should not assume everyone loves their doggo the way they do ?

OP posts:
Figcherry · 10/10/2025 05:32

I’m a massive dog lover but your ndn was in the wrong here.
She should have apologised and put her dog back on the leash.

However for your child’s sake you need to do something about your fear of dogs.
I was walking my ddog on a leash, she was sniffing the ground and totally minding her own business when a girl about 6 was coming towards us with , I presume, her dgf. The child saw ddog and was hysterical to the point she almost ran into the road.
Obviously this reaction alerted ddog who then took an interest in the child and wanted to see what the fuss was about.

Pipsquiggle · 10/10/2025 05:38

I have a dog who is very lively / bouncy, around prams and wheelchairs, I always make sure she's on a lead.
YANBU

Original poster
beachcitygirl · 10/10/2025 05:47

@Figcherry I completely agree & understand that I’m passing on my fear (working on it and also working on my over protective behaviour)

OP posts:
Eenameenadeeka · 10/10/2025 05:51

You are definitely not unreasonable. I love dogs but they absolutely should not be allowed to jump on anyone, especially not a child in a wheelchair. It's probably not helpful for your child if you react by yelling, more likely to upset your child, but the neighbors need to control their dog.

thegifttaegieus · 10/10/2025 06:16

Well done, venomous cunts like that need to be stood up to.

Northumberlandisbest · 10/10/2025 06:18

I was verbally attacked on the beach when a whippet puppy jumped up at a small girl. I let the mother rant before I told her it wasn’t my dog. It wasn’t.

BallerinaRadio · 10/10/2025 06:19

thegifttaegieus · 10/10/2025 06:16

Well done, venomous cunts like that need to be stood up to.

The bar for being a "venomous cunt" really is low on here

thegifttaegieus · 10/10/2025 06:21

BallerinaRadio · 10/10/2025 06:19

The bar for being a "venomous cunt" really is low on here

Show quote history

Nah. Laughing at a child in a wheelchair being assaulted by your uncontrolled dog is the perfect example of a venomous cunt.

Hope this helps.

vodkaredbullgirl · 10/10/2025 06:21

I have dogs and yanbu about losing it.

PreciousTatas · 10/10/2025 06:25

I love dogs, and there has never been a point in my life when I haven't owned at least one.

You are not being unreasonable.

It does not matter if your dd was harmed or not. Any decent dog owner would not allow their dog to be out of control in public. And jumping up people/children is out of control, even approaching other people without permission is out of control and the dog should not be off leash.

ChocolateMagnum · 10/10/2025 06:35

beachcitygirl · 10/10/2025 05:23

I am absolutely willing to admit that the dog did no actual harm and that seems to be the sticking point with neighbours (oh he’s a lovely dog, just excited to say hello) and I’m the paranoid bitch.
(which I am) but surely to god dog owners should not assume everyone loves their doggo the way they do ?

I've always hated the 'he won't hurt, he's just friendly' as if physical injury is the only risk with dogs. It's just such a rude and inconsiderate invasion of space. Even if you're not scared of dogs, it's horrible to have to cope with interactions like this. I find them incredibly stressful and so, by letting your dog do whatever the fuck it likes, you have, in fact, caused harm.

Houndsahollering · 10/10/2025 06:37

Echo above as a dog owner and lover, you are absolutely not being unreasonable.
If owner knows their dog is an excitable jumper the onus is absolutely on them to mitigate - recall and get it under control so that if you/your kid want to say hello politely you then can.
I also seem to remember reading that for a dog to be considered “dangerously out of control” someone only needs to feel threatened by their behaviour.

DoubtfulCat · 10/10/2025 06:41

Dog owner here, and I’m well aware that it’s my legal responsibility to keep my dogs under my control when they are out. Any dog jumping up at other people is out of control, and your NDN should know this. She should be mortified at her own reaction (could she have laughed in embarrassment or nerves) and be apologetic to you. I’m sorry she isn’t!

I watch mine like a hawk for their body language, and also communicate with people we meet so I can prevent this sort of scenario. It’s what every dog owner should do.

Peonyperfection · 10/10/2025 06:46

I love dogs. If my dog jumped on anyone, let alone a child, I’d be mortified.

Deeprug · 10/10/2025 07:23

Dont apologise. You did nothing wrong. I really can't imagine laughing at a dog jumping on a disabled child in a wheelchair. What a twat. You can still be civil when you see her.

BettysRoasties · 10/10/2025 07:26

Yanbu

I don’t care that his “friendly” I don’t want his slobber or his fur on me. I don’t want a “hug” from him. Or him to sniff my ass. I don’t want paw prints on me.

I want you to have your dog by law under control which means it shouldn’t be able to touch or sniff me.

I want shit owners to not be shit. And also pick up their dog shit!

and I used to have dogs so not a hater of dogs. A hater of bad owners. I’ll fuss well behaved dogs.

LakieLady · 10/10/2025 07:34

All the people who hate dogs will say YANBU and all the people who love dogs will say YABU.

As a dog lover with over 30 years of dog ownership, I say YANBU.

I would never have let any dog under my control jump up at a child in a wheelchair. The child can't get away from the dog ffs, and it could have been very frightening.

One of my dogs absolutely adored children and always wanted to go and say hello to them, but because I'm not a twat I would get him under control as soon as anyone who looked less than 15 or so appeared on the horizon.

Some kids are terrified of dogs, some kids are allergic to dogs, as are some adults. It's the responsibility of the dog owner to make sure that their dogs don't go bothering people who don't want to interact with them.

Allthings · 10/10/2025 07:35

Dogs should not be jumping at anyone let alone someone in a wheelchair who is not in a position to defend themselves.

One of mine is very friendly and likes to put is front paws on people if we stop to talk to someone when he is on lead (he is a larger dog). As I know he likes to do that, I make sure that he can’t. If the situation described happened, I would be horrified and full of apologies and would be checking later to make sure your child was ok. But I can’t trust this dog not to be over friendly and behave in a civilised manner, so he is not off lead around anyone.

dottiedodah · 10/10/2025 07:45

I love dogs however I think this is unacceptable. I would have apologised profusely. I do think though that if possible children should be able to pass a dog without being upset.the river nearby is lovely and popular with 🐕. A little boy was in tears when we passed by wirh our gentle girl.his mum said he hates dogs! Not the best place to go as every other person has one!

EsmeWeatherwaxHatpin · 10/10/2025 07:48

I love dogs. I have a big bouncy one. I don’t think you’re unreasonable. Your neighbours dog should be under control out in public. It doesn’t matter whether you like them or not, it’s not your responsibility to deal with someone else’s off lead dog. The fact the dog jumped up onto a child in a wheelchair shows it was not under sufficient control. I’m not surprised you’re upset.

if mine had escaped me and done that I’d be endlessly apologetic. You’d probably get cake by way of making amends!

itsgettingweird · 10/10/2025 07:51

Loving dogs or being afraid of them has nothing to do with it. Size has nothing to do with it.

A dog should not be jumping on a disabled child in a wheelchair full stop.

Or jumping at anyone tbh.

If they aren’t well trained they need to be on a lead.