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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour fall out

134 replies

beachcitygirl · 10/10/2025 04:57

we Live in a private road in a small and well to do area where everyone has dogs. I’m terrified of dogs. Yesterday my neighbour laughed when her large dog (off the leash ) jumped on my disabled child (whilst in wheelchair) I absolutely lost my shit and sufficient to say all is not well. Willing to admit I reacted vehemently and shouted at her and dog but am I in the wrong ?

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 10/10/2025 07:51

I am on your side and I wish I’d been quicker to react when a dog jumped on my daughter. She was toddling through the park and some massive thing knocked her down and was on top of her. I screamed and this ineffectual dog owner came up and was all ‘oh, he’s always doing that, he just loves children’ as my daughter cried. She was terrified of dogs for years.

I hate that woman.

Pancakeflipper · 10/10/2025 07:53

I'd be furious with neighbour for
A. Letting her dog jump at child in wheelchair.
B. Laughing

(I own a dog)

Themagicfarawaytreeismyfav · 10/10/2025 07:57

I love dogs and own 3. However the neighbour was completely in the wrong. If their dog is jumping up at anyone its not under control! They need to maintain control of their dog at all times when outside their own property.

thegifttaegieus · 10/10/2025 08:00

ChocolateMagnum · 10/10/2025 06:35

I've always hated the 'he won't hurt, he's just friendly' as if physical injury is the only risk with dogs. It's just such a rude and inconsiderate invasion of space. Even if you're not scared of dogs, it's horrible to have to cope with interactions like this. I find them incredibly stressful and so, by letting your dog do whatever the fuck it likes, you have, in fact, caused harm.

Show quote history

Right. An invasion of space, being hassled by dogs, is also totally unacceptable. I like dogs and I loathe people's uncontrolled animals interacting with me.

rwalker · 10/10/2025 08:22

You need to draw a line under it but without apologising

id text her something along the lines of
can we move on from yesterday .Going forward can you please make sure your dog is under control

Bundleflower · 10/10/2025 08:26

Isittimeformynapyet · 10/10/2025 05:11

All the people who hate dogs will say YANBU and all the people who love dogs will say YABU.

For the sake of living happily in your little community you could approach the neighbour and say you're sorry about reacting so forcefully but you are afraid of dogs and would appreciate it if they would put their dog on a lead if you are around in future. You'll probably find she apologises for her part in it too. If not, I guess you'll have a future of skulking past each other and feeling uncomfortable.

Don’t be so bloody ridiculous.

OP, I’m a massive dog lover and I’d have lost my absolute shit.
Unacceptable. This one is on your neighbour to extend the olive branch and ensure it doesn’t happen again.

icouldholditwithacobweb · 10/10/2025 08:35

You are 100% not in the wrong, I have two of my own dogs and am able-bodied and I've told other other dog owners off pretty vehemently for letting their dogs jump all over me with their muddy paws. I would go nuclear if some moron allowed their dog to jump on my disabled child. It's unacceptable to not have that level of control over your dog, if it's going to behave like that keep it on a lead and take it to training classes.

CautiousLurker01 · 10/10/2025 08:36

Isittimeformynapyet · 10/10/2025 05:11

All the people who hate dogs will say YANBU and all the people who love dogs will say YABU.

For the sake of living happily in your little community you could approach the neighbour and say you're sorry about reacting so forcefully but you are afraid of dogs and would appreciate it if they would put their dog on a lead if you are around in future. You'll probably find she apologises for her part in it too. If not, I guess you'll have a future of skulking past each other and feeling uncomfortable.

Dog owner here, one very jumpy-uppy and excitable. Failed to train it out of him, so I take responsibility for him - he’s on a lead in public spaces, door to hall kept closed for deliveries, etc. This is my failing and he absolutely would not be uncontrolled around a wheelchair user. [For context he’s a small/medium size springer, not a ‘big’ dog, but still…]

OP you are absolutely not being unreasonable - fear of dogs aside, you have every right to expect a dog owner to control their dog and to receive an abject apology if they jump up at your child. Owners like this create a bad environment for responsible owners as well as make public spaces unsafe - scary even - for other persons.

PeachyKoala · 10/10/2025 08:37

I have two large bouncy dogs and I think YANBU. I would be mortified if they jumped up on anybody! It's a fundamental part of training for goodness sake. Sorry that happened to you OP I'd be upset too.

Chiefangel · 10/10/2025 08:38

I love dogs but your reaction was spot on.
Hope your piece of shit neighbour apologies today to you and your child.

LoveSandbanks · 10/10/2025 08:51

I love dogs, currently have 2, 1 of which is a 40kg lurcher. Has the sweetest nature and wouldn’t hurt a fly but he’s a wanker and if he was off lad, absolutely would jump ip
at your son.

for this reason wanker is on a lead when around other people. Your neighbour is completely unreasonable and dogs should be trained not to jump up at people or be on a fucking lead. I’d have been mortified if I was her and deeply apologetic.

Runssometimes · 10/10/2025 08:52

Dog lover here too. Totally not acceptable for dogs to be jumping up on anyone. Especially a child. The fact that dog likely meant no harm is totally beside the point. However it would be good if you could address your fear if you do live near so many dogs as a heightened reaction could very well make things worse/even dangerous in a situation with an unregulated dog and likely scare your child.

But your neighbour is totally out of line. I’d consider going round calmly and explaining how it felt to your child and to you and be clear that if it happens again you will report them as you are perfectly entitled to do.

my dog at first was a terrible jumper but I trained it out of him within weeks of getting him. It’s a fundamental part of training. Doesn’t matter if the person minds or not. No dog should be jumping up on people. I take a dim view of anyone that allows their dog to do that to me and doesn’t immediately apologise or put them back on the leash as they are a rubbish owner who is actually endangering their dog by having such poor control.

hope your child is ok.

Puzzledtoday · 10/10/2025 08:56

Grrrr. I’d be furious. Being jumped up at is only ok if you love dogs and understand doggy behaviour AND have reason to believe a particular dog is not dangerous. Some idiot dog owner chuckling and calling ‘it’s OK, hes being friendly’ does not guarantee any of these requirements.

ChikinLikin · 10/10/2025 09:01

You are not in the wrong.
But I would follow the advice in the first reply because it's horrible to fall out with neighbours.
Going forward ... you live amongst a load of dogs so you need to get over your fear of them. I would pay for expert help.

BMW6 · 10/10/2025 09:01

I adore dogs.

YANBU and your neighbour is a massive twat and owes you an apology. You did absolutely nothing wrong.

Zempy · 10/10/2025 09:09

I absolutely love dogs and am happy to see them everywhere.

Your neighbours behaviour is completely unacceptable. Their dog should not be off leash if it’s likely to jump up like that.

SinnerBoy · 10/10/2025 09:56

beachcitygirl

You are 100% NOT being unreasonable! Your neighbour is a complete arse, with no consideration at all. You were well within your rights to shout at her.

It took till over 6 months to train my Labrador not to jump up and if there were people about, she was on the lead. Every pushchair we passed, she tried to stick her head in and I'd have to pull her back. I apologised every time, even though I always stopped her from picking a baby.

Doberwoman · 10/10/2025 10:07

I love dogs and don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I have 2 large dogs and they’re always on lead in public. This owner sounds irresponsible and if she carries on letting her dog behave in that way, friendly or not, it’s only a matter of time before someone reports her.

KoiTetra · 10/10/2025 10:17

Isittimeformynapyet · 10/10/2025 05:11

All the people who hate dogs will say YANBU and all the people who love dogs will say YABU.

For the sake of living happily in your little community you could approach the neighbour and say you're sorry about reacting so forcefully but you are afraid of dogs and would appreciate it if they would put their dog on a lead if you are around in future. You'll probably find she apologises for her part in it too. If not, I guess you'll have a future of skulking past each other and feeling uncomfortable.

I have two dogs, I love dogs but I would say the OP is YANBU.

It is you and your children's right not to be jumped on by someone else's dog. If I meet someone I don't know while out with the dogs I hold them on a short lead so they cant jump or interact, if that person choose to interact and make a fuss I give them more lead but it is that persons right to not engage or not be jumped on.

LaLoba · 10/10/2025 10:37

I love dogs and your neighbour is massively unreasonable. My dog adores children, which is why I put her lead on as soon as I see a child, and she’s very gentle and submissive, but I don’t want her to cause fearfulness in a child with unwanted attention. Jumping on any child, let alone one in a pushchair or wheelchair is out of order full stop.

Don’t even think of apologising for your reaction because that will give her permission to carry on letting it happen.

Northernladdette · 12/10/2025 19:09

Unfortunately, dog owners expect everyone to love their dogs 🙄😣

Noodles1234 · 12/10/2025 19:16

I don’t think your ndn dog should be off the lead when not in a secure dog park. So I think YANBU. I’d be mortified if my dog did this and apologising profusely.

however for neighbourhood cohesion I’d just mention next time ask nicely if the dog could be kept on lead. Personally I wouldn’t apologise for your behaviour but that’s up to you.

i have a dog but I cannot bear this modern attitude that we all have to love dogs and not put humans first.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 12/10/2025 19:18

Isittimeformynapyet · 10/10/2025 05:11

All the people who hate dogs will say YANBU and all the people who love dogs will say YABU.

For the sake of living happily in your little community you could approach the neighbour and say you're sorry about reacting so forcefully but you are afraid of dogs and would appreciate it if they would put their dog on a lead if you are around in future. You'll probably find she apologises for her part in it too. If not, I guess you'll have a future of skulking past each other and feeling uncomfortable.

Actually even those ofnus with dogs and who love them can empathise when an irresponsible dog owner acts like a complete twat.

@beachcitygirl you were absolutely justified at losing your shit. I have a 6 year old spaniel, who I love to bits, however, I appreciate that others do not love her and so she is never off lead unless we are in a privately hired secure paddock. In part because I live in an area where there is an active dog order that prohibits dogs being off lead (not that some people pay attention) but mostly because whilst she has excellent recall. She is a dog and a bit of a dickhead at times and occasionally decides she is deaf. I dont want to cause anyone else to be worried/uncomfortable and so she is on the lead at all times in public.

Being a spaniel. She needs a shed ton of exercise and we are lucky that I have over 200ft of garden that she can play in and a very lovely couple of private hire fields. But I chose her. Not the rest of the village and therefore it is up to me to make sure she is under control and safe and that others are safe.

Your neighbour is an absolute bellend.

I hope your child is ok!

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 12/10/2025 19:20

Isittimeformynapyet · 10/10/2025 05:11

All the people who hate dogs will say YANBU and all the people who love dogs will say YABU.

For the sake of living happily in your little community you could approach the neighbour and say you're sorry about reacting so forcefully but you are afraid of dogs and would appreciate it if they would put their dog on a lead if you are around in future. You'll probably find she apologises for her part in it too. If not, I guess you'll have a future of skulking past each other and feeling uncomfortable.

I love dogs, I have a dog, and no OP YANBU. It's appalling to let your dog jump on anyone who doesn't invite it first, but to jump on a child in a wheelchair and then laugh about it? FFS! These are the types of owners that give the rest of us a bad name! 😡

sunflower85 · 12/10/2025 19:22

No you’re absolutely not in the wrong.

I’m frightened of strange dogs too due to an incident that happened when I was a child, and I would be scared if one jumped up at myself or my children.

A dog should absolutely not be off lead without having reliable recall.

I had a similar experience years ago when my youngest was about 18 months old, my friend and I, with our children, were sitting on a blanket in the park having a picnic when out of nowhere a Collie came bounding up to us, ran though the blanket knocking everything all over the place, and knocked my friend’s little girl flat onto her back and snatched the sandwich out of her hand.

The owner came up laughing and at that point the adrenaline kicked in due to the shock of us being in a vulnerable position sitting on the ground with young children and having no idea what the dog was going to do, I really gave her a piece of my mind…