To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

Some of those posters will be women, but I don’t think they all are.

The poll tells the real story. 95% NBU.It's easy to focus on the goady fuckers but OP should feel vindicated.

It's not really about being grateful for him organising it and the amount he has spent not being "enough" - it's like getting your kid all excited and grateful that you've bought them what they asked for for Christmas and then they open it and it's a secondhand version with bits missing. Then still expecting the credit.

The amount of thread there are on here where an OP is married to some deadbeat loser husband who never does anything nice for her, the OP is always told there would have been signs and she's enabled it for years. Now we have an OP identifying that her parter is a waste of space and she can do better, she's berated and told she's been unreasonable!

I'm glad you have high standards for yourself OP, I'd have binned him off too.

Because it’s just a huge ick. Yes it’s 18 months but I’d rather 18 months now than 10 years of the same thing!

Well done OP. It's brilliant and refreshing to see a woman with so much self respect and such foresight. Ignore the goady comments.

OP, you are my hero! So refreshing to read a post from someone who has the confidence to say what she wants and actually follow through.

Good on you and I’m so pleased you enjoyed Hamilton!

OP, I’m so proud of you. I hope my daughter behaves in exactly the same way you have if something similar ever happens to her (god forbid).

It’s not the details of what happened, it’s his attitude to you that speaks volumes, and you are damn right you are worth more than this.

Good for you, he sounds awful. Onwards and upwards OP!

Terrible people? They haven’t killed anyone.

In my world/vocab, murderers aren't terrible. They're evil, depraved...

I can have a terrible curry though, or a terrible day at work.

Hth.

And this behaviour was utterly out of character and in the 18 months you were together and out “pretty regularly, you hadn’t got a whiff of this?

@Warmbroc, the OP's already said she's been handling everything to do with booking things so far in their relationship, so it hasn't come up. There may well have been other warning signs, but perhaps they were small and she made allowances, as we all do.

This was the big one, and she's now walked. Yay for OP!

Well fact that op seemingly booked everything for past 18 months is odd behaviour from him in itself (and the OP to be doing so!).

But what about this attitude towards money. The op presumably wasn’t arranging and paying for everything. So what was he like with regard to money and the things you booked op? Christmas? Etc?

Some of those posters will be women, but I don’t think they all are.

I was going to add this too - I made a random comment to a guy I knew (only very slightly) about a Mumsnet post I'd seen years ago, he said he goes on Mumsnet sometimes to wind posters up. The arse. Attention seeking arse.

Then again, some women seem to have such low self esteem they'll accept a weekend in a doss house and a take-away dinner as a lovely birthday gift from a bloke that's been in their lives for 18 months.

well the op has put up with a bloke who apparently hasn’t ever displayed this behaviour at any time over the last 18 months because the OP has booked… everything

Jesus Christ the nerve of him.

The ONLY saving grace in this fiasco is the story you've got. Tell literally everybody about this shitshow when you get home, do not let the bastard slink away unscathed if you have any friends in common you must tell them the whole story, he deserves to have everyone know he's a cheapskate moron.

I'm glad you got tickets and enjoyed the show too! You have a good attitude and know your worth, don't pay any attention to posters here acting like you're unreasonable.

@LondonWoes Please update!

A good heads up OP for the future is… if you find yourself once again arranging and booking absolutely everything in a relationship, as you said you did in this one - it’s a pretty strong sign that he’s not particularly interested and / or a keeper!

Just wondering op has he had the cheek to get in touch,

So the OP has booked everything for the entire duration of their 18 month relationship, hence this behaviour from him being a complete surprise to her?

OP… you need to raise your standards. Clearly he wasn’t that bothered about you and was enjoying you sorting everything. The one time he wasn’t responsible for sorting something… 🤷‍♀️ he couldn’t really be faffed to put the effort in

Are People still adding to this ridiculous thread? what a sad woman

Can you really not see the irony of your post?! 😆

I’m no better than the rest of you

Don't do that.
Too often I see people bring up their trauma to deflect from their online behaviour.

OP is a hero! Thank you for setting boundary’s. Too many women young and old put up with bare minimum. To many they have read this how it is but I understand so much more from what has happened. This is just showing OP how he would treat her on a special occasion. The thought and understanding or what he wants from life and what he wants for them. It’s been 18 months of OP seeing if this person is a potential life partner. It has everything to do with thought, planning, finance, safety and communication. It’s not even as if it’s just a one off as I’m sure he has a full itinerary for his Skying holiday. Maybe say well done for seeing and evaluating this situation. Fed up of women making excuses for their shitty other half’s.