To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

OP, glad you had a good time at Hamilton.

This thread really has taken some odd twists and turns. I worked in London my whole life, would be asked for money from homeless guys I would see on an almost daily basis, £ help to get a hostel for the night which was £45. I cannot imagine what a £30 a night bed in London would be like but I can imagine who the regular clientele would be ... Everyone saying "I bet it wasn't that bad" really have no idea!

This

I still think we're being told a very one-sided story. If tiles were reversed, people would be outraged by a man's behaviour towards his partner - i.e. rejecting the affordable hotel, complaining about the takeaway meal, kicking the woman out of the new hotel, going out for a nice meal in his own, having a tantrum when he returned, booking a new room for himself, cancelling the room she's in and then still expecting to use the theatre tickets.

All this talk of the OP knowing her worth seems to be tied up in how much her partner could/is willing to spend on her birthday.

I think the man, and his family by the looks of things, will be glad to see the back of her.

I still think we're being told a very one-sided story.

Captain Obvious has entered the building!!

EVERY story is a one-sided story, even giving your view of the other side of the story is STILL one sided.

As someone who has also lost a parent and a sa survivor, none of what you posted here explain or justify the suggestion that the OPs standards of a safe place to sleep and a dinner reservation meaning dinner reservation are unreasonable.

If you are struggling right now please do seek help and speak to someone irl. Its worth stepping away from threads and from posting judgemental comments on OPs and from referencing the things you are struggling with when confronted with the inconsistency of your posts as though it excuses them. It doesn't help anyone to do otherwise.

Perhaps start your own thread and get support for the things you're struggling with.

This is sound advice.

This is sound advice.

Have you missed the point that it appears he was willing to spend on his GF's birthday treat maybe 1/5th of what he will spend on a weekend skiing with his mates? Way to make her feel loved and appreciated?

We don't know that he sees her as a g/f, I asked about how often they go out, and the question was sidestepped.

Some men reading those posts are probably celebrating, knowing that there are women out there who are happy and grateful for their crumbs.

I am sure the OP is hoping that cheap twat waffle and his motley crew never has the opportunity to see neither her back nor front.

I know that some women are so desperate that dregs are acceptable, but I never thought they would set the bar so low that it's five feet underground.

The poster's version is ALWAYS the only version we read.

You sound too much like, "So, you were robbed. Did you wear something expensive on purpose to show off? Were you wearing your wedding ring? Did you eat somewhere besides Five Guys, showing the robbers you aren't skint? Are you sure you weren't asking to be robbed?"

She didn't spring Hamilton on him. LOL! Set that bar as low as you can, someone might bite.

This. It sounds you had a wonderful time in the end. Without him.

I don’t know any women who would put so little thought and care into a weekend away.

Bloody hell, if they're both approaching 30 and he doesn't see her as a proper girlfriend after 18 months that would be even more reason to bin him off. Future faking is an even worse crime than being a skinflint.

I didn’t see that. We would go out pretty regularly. He saw me as his girlfriend.

Good for you holding your head high and for making at a good weekend for yourself regardless of him. Have you heard from him at all? I guess this type would leave it as long as they could out of pride or spite, but interested to see how long it takes for the blame/anger/pity/woe cycle to start.

Well done for not putting up with this test to see how much you would take.

So twice a week over 18 months - 150 times, slept together 50/100 times? You are really quite intimate, know each other really well, and this has come out of the blue?

I'm trying to understand how this has happened, one possibility is that he has been playing a role, the loving b/f that he isn't really, and finally the mask has slipped. I don't know, but there is something not right somewhere.

@LondonWoes i don’t think you need to justify anything here. The guy behaved like a twat and you removed yourself from his idiocy and enjoyed the show you wanted to see. A win for you whichever way you look at it. X

Fully reached the conclusion you're both terrible people.

You both behaved badly over the weekend. You both sulked and withdrew from each other. You seem to think someone's feelings for you can be measured by how much they spend on you, because that's how much you're 'worth', and if this is the way he's treating you, you're 'worth' more than a cheap hotel and Five Guys. My husband has a tendency to err towards the cheaper side of life. Some of the places he books if he's on his own are GRIM. And some of the places I've stayed with him that he's booked are grim. But we have a good time, because it just doesn't matter.

You were in London. To see Hamilton. At any point over the weekend you could have turned your attitude around and had a good time. But you were too consumed with what you're 'worth'. I don't blame him for giving the ticket to his sister, tbh. You behaved like a child. He behaved like a child. There's no good guy here.

Good for you. This would be how it’d always be if you’d gone along with this. It’s not about being ‘precious’ at all. It’s about him choosing to be tight on a trip with you but not tight on a trip with his friends. Why be in an unsafe miserable room in a house- how depressing! A hotel or even nice b&b is all part of the experience. To top it off he comes back with burgers at 4.30? Then he just wanted to stay in all night. You did the right thing by ending all that now. It’s exhausting being with someone like that. Some of the replies to you here are crazyf!

Some posters standards are in the basement, like the crack den he expected you to sleep in. Toss him back, there are clearly others willing to accept the scrapings of your take-away burger leftovers as fine dining.

Good for you! Glad you enjoyed the show. What a nasty move to turn up with his sister after having gifted you the tickets.

Not sure why you're getting such a hard time. He sulked because he'd messed up, after having bigged up the weekend, despite having the budget to make a decent trip. I don't know why so many would be making excuses or putting up with shitty behaviour.

I agree but given the number of women supporting this waste of space and scolding her to be more grateful, it's not exactly surprising some women have been conditioned to have such low standards!