To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

I’m appalled he did that, but it really cemented the idea that he’s a completely horrible person, how spiteful of him (and his sister!).

Love this!

Major red flag! Dump!

Completely agree @TootSweeties.

A PP said that OP should be happy and not moan that her birthday dinner (sold as a restaurant booking) was a takeaway fast food chain burger 😲
Seriously, most posts on here are about women who don't know their value and accept shit like this... but the minute a women does know her own value, and refuses to accept such bullshit from a man, posters in here call her greedy.

Well done @LondonWoes - I hope you loved the show.

Ooh, where? I'd love to know where I can get a flight, accommodation, lift passes, food, drink, taxi or car hire for that, total bargain!

Make the most of your stay in London! What are you doing today? It's lovely an dry, make the most of it. The Royal Academy has some great exhibitions - so does the Tate if that's more your thing. Make today about you!

Utter bastard for making you pay.

Utter idiot for thinking a £30 night in London would be anything other than awful. He could have booked somewhere clean, comfortable and acceptable and the cost of the new hotel is the cost of him being useless so he should pay it.

That was a shitty way to treat you on your birthday. If he doesn't realise this he should become an Ex asap.

You’d be grateful to stay in a shit hole? Okay 🥴

Bulgaria 🇧🇬

Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Not that it's a suprise but a quick look on Airbnb at what £30 a night gets you in London should prove to others slating OP why she's done what she's done... Good on you OP for not putting up with it, hope you've managed to enjoy your weekend so far.

Exactly. If he’d laughed about the hotel and we’d ended up splitting somewhere a bit nicer, fine. It’s the reaction to it that showed me that he genuinely thinks that’s what I’m worth.

Can't believe the stick you are getting on this post! You are 100% in the right imo. It has only been 18 months and his behaviour is appalling. Nothing you have said suggests he is struggling financially. You are well shot of him and good for you for not putting up with this behaviour. If only more women could be like this.

I have seen Hamilton on stage 3 times, I am obsessed, you will love it, enjoy!

I actually live near the Cairngorms - it's super shite compared to say Austria. I'll check out Bulgaria though.

it’s not really the cost is it? It’s the lack of thought.
he’s not gone:

she likes burgers I will look for somewhere special and unusual for dinner.
five guys that will do.

we need a hotel, I will look for somewhere she will like
£30. That will do.

Op thank God you know your worth , yes your bar is high, keep it that way, am so proud of you op,
Nothing he says or does can make this right but you know this,
Enjoy you time in London walk with your head held high, and maybe a little skip along the way, 💐

So sorry @LondonWoes x

You dodged a bullet there OP, a horrible experience but you're free of the tight fisted, narcissistic arsehole. Imagine being married into a family like that & having a SIL like his sister? You're free, enjoy the rest of your life and be very choosey about who you date in future.

What a thing to happen!

What a tosser. I'm so glad you have made the most of it, seen his true colours and sacked him off. Like you I'd rather cut loose 28 months in that settle for less.

Hope you are having a lovely weekend in London now that the asshat is gone.

This happened to my brother when he took his (very lovely) girlfriend on their first trip away to London to see a show. He looked for a hotel near the venue and thought he found one nearby that from the photos & blurb looked nice. When they arrived it was obvious that the photos were years out of date as the place was an utter dive with sticky carpets, grime and holes in the room doors - it hadn't been anywhere near the cheapest option either. Once they got into their room he took one look at the ripped curtains and the bed that looked like a sunken bath because the middle dip was so deep, picked up their cases and walked out.
His (now) DP looked confused when they walked to the nearest café, ordered coffee and sat down. He then looked for a different hotel, asked the café staff for their opinion on the options and booked a new room elsewhere. The staff were used to people fleeing the original hotel in shock and kept a list of other hotels nearby. The new hotel was lovely and he explained to his still confused DP that he wouldn't let his worst enemy stay in pig sty like that let alone a person he would possibly have a future with. He certainly wouldn't be crowing over shitty rooms just because they're a bargain OP.
My brother is a gentleman and still surprises his DP with weekends away because he loves to see the delight on her face. He loves being thoughtful and caring and showing his DP that she is worth the effort and it's not always in an expensive way either.
This is the type of partner the OP deserves. Everyone deserves a bit of nice effort from their DP's at special times.
Enjoy Hamilton @LondonWoes - I've been 3 times (sitting in different areas of the theatre) and it's one of my favourite musicals. Hopefully your next partner will be more considerate - I presume that those who have said that you're an ungrateful brat are male or just have very low expectations of a partner.....

Unfortunately I have known men like this who give their gf’s the cheapest things they can get away with.

They are usually on the periphery of the group and to make them seem more “interesting” they will actually brag to their mates about what they gave their gf and how cheap it was. We did warn one gf about what she can expect. Gf wasn’t bothered and actually married this guy after several years together. I think she thought that once married she would have more of a say in things.
Marriage didn’t survive the honeymoon

So, did you enjoy the show with your sister then?

i don’t blame him your partner for being annoyed. He booked a surprise for you and you basically said it’s not good enough for you then you expected him to pay again . Why should he pay again when he planned a whole weekend in London for you . You both have been n a relationship for 18 months. I guess he thought he knew you better and not this diva who shot him down made him feel worthless when all he wanted to do was to give you a treat virtually . Sounds like it had to be about monetary value to be acceptable for you.

there are some horrible messages for this guy who no one knows about his financial situation . All you have heard is how her birthday is ruined . Boo hoo.

Have you actually read the OP's description of the scuzzy accommodation? I wouldn't have stayed there either.