To ask if most straight men are attracted much younger women?

[RubyTuesday10]

Had a depressing moment at work today, male colleague played a Jimmy Carr stand-up clip on his phone and it went along the lines of “if I had to pick my favourite child it would be my neighbour’s hot daughter.” The other men with him laughed at it. I couldn’t help feeling a bit nauseous and it’s made me question whether many older straight men actually do fantasise about girls in their late teens or whatever. Perhaps I have been naive to think it was something that just appealed to a minority of perverts. One or two of them have daughters too and it just strikes me as odd that they could even laugh at a joke like that. Am I naive to feel this way?

He says utterly disgusting things and when I heard him making comments about people who had been injured, I nearly got sick.
I know it’s his job but I wouldn’t listen to a word out of his mouth ever again after that.

At a family get together the other week, my neice (19) was saying that she and her friends never go to nightclubs anymore because there will always be a bunch of middle aged men standing around gawping making them feel uncomfortable. She says there are always old men who just stand at the bar perving.
Everyone at the table found this to be gross... except my brother-in-law (59) (not her father) who sat there smirking and chuckling like this was perfectly understandable and laudable behaviour. 🤢

Because it doesn’t fit the standard MN “all men are vile, disgusting creatures” argument. The fact it’s based on science is irrelevant to most people on here.

Because man have choice and can see that impregnating a young girl is not in the girls best interest

That would seem to be the case, sadly.

Personally I think men prefer older women who have their shit together

Men certainly do have a choice, and can choose not to impregnate a young girl. What they cannot do is choose to not find the young girl attractive, just as they can't choose to stop breathing, or stop digesting food they've eaten.

There is older and then just old. Most people have their shit together by 30 so neither sex need to lusting after much older people for this reason alone. But I get how that could be different for someone in their 20s.

My DH is 16.5 years older. I met him when I was 24-25. I admit I didn't want an immature party going lads lad after my previous relationship so specifically looked for an older man who was passed that shit.

The problem with this is that most men don’t look like movie stars. Most men are not Brad Pitt or George Clooney. I see no evidence of men aging better than women in my social sphere. In my social circle, the women are slim, toned and take care of themselves. The men not so much.

I agree, hairs growing out of god knows where, saggy empty bums that blend into tops of men’s legs. I won’t even get started on what happens to men’s balls and penis’ oh then there’s the throat clearing, what’s that all about?

Fair point. Might I ask the average age of old your social circle? Because I feel like women's looks drop off a cliff 45+ but men are still looking really good at this age. These are just my own opinions of course.

I've noticed aging since my 30th, in myself and my friends. I think we are all looking good still, but it's definitely creeping up on us mid 30s. 😱

Just reading about a Hollywood star's child today that is a model. Aged around 16 or 17, and someone commented something along the lines of why is it acceptable to drool over teenage models but to universally detest Jeffrey Epstein?
Also, I understand that extremely popular porn searches are "teenage girls, schoolgirl, best friend's daughter" which is bloody sick!!

Women’s looks ‘drop off a cliff’. You sound delightful

There are some very illuminating comments on this thread from some people trying to justify their own inappropriate behaviour.

Agreed.

There is a wider conversation to be had about porn and how it twists the sexuality of young people into something awful from early on.

I didn't say it was odd. I said it's depressing.

Apparently we are the 'hormonal' ones! Like testosterone isn't a hormone...

Of course it makes sense evolutionarily.

My friend often complains to me about her 80 year old dad who is on dating sites and states that he doesn’t want to talk to women who’ve gone through the menopause because they all look old(!)

She asked him if he’s looked in the mirror, lately. She says that he still thinks he’s the good looking guy he was in his youth. A lot of men have this sort of delusion. It’s weird.

Ditto, overweight men commenting on women who are overweight.

Many straight men are attracted to younger women, but it depends on the person not everyone is the same.

It makes sense evolutionarily for women capable of pregnancy to choose the youngest strongest most virile man she can find.
Yet bizarrely most of us overcome the urge to cheat with 23 year old 6' 2" gym bunny Jake on a monthly basis, and stay faithful to the average in every way, getting on a bit man we married.

It's just so depressing

What's the point in trying to have a relationship with one of these morons

Oh lawdy, you've shown the bull the red flag with this one! 🤣

People are quite touchy on here about this. I've seen a lot of people claiming it's down to societal expectations but scientists say it's because we have thinner skin and lower collagen density than men. And the menopause massively accelerates things.

It's odd actually. I remember seeing a regular poster getting quite angry about how 'misogynistic' it was to discuss this. But then I went onto another thread and the very same poster was saying "Transphobia? We're just stating scientific facts here". I did wonder if there was any cognitive dissonance going on but it didn't appear so. I mean, surely it's only an issue if we judge a women's value by her looks?

But tbh I think most of us do care about our appearance if we're being completely honest. Usually more than men do. If they've got enough money to drive flash cars and get hot women then many don't seem to really care about the beer gut.

I'm not quite 30 but I already feel I've lost a bit of my youthful radiance. I sometimes worry about the effects of working outside for hours a day. The UV rays etc. But I still get chased a lot by men so I guess I must still pass the test lol.

I think lots of us want 'a man' not a boy. But I don't see this with men. They don't want ruggedness like many of us do. And men care less about the status/earnings of their partner.

I know because I know him and he'd never be with a young woman. I dont think he'd go with anyone younger than 30. He's said himself that he finds men going with young women odd. It's not just about the looks, but the lack of common ground. I get it too. I could never date a man younger than me.

Ha, I thank God that I'm attracted to women as well (I mostly don't date men).

I think being out of that side of things means I can see thinks a bit more neutrally.

I think most women deny a lot of things about male sexuality.

In the past this was easier : men & women were more segregated & women generally weren't exposed to the more unregulated aspects of male sexuality.

Now porn, the internet, OLD, less sexual taboos means that it's harder for women to ignore things they'd probably rather not know (This thread's topic, for one)

I don't think the sexual revolution was bad as a whole, I'm not Mary Harrington or Louise Perry though I do agree with some of what they say.

I do think it means that women have to differentiate between unlucky but not bad things like being attracted to older teens (as long as the men don't do anything IRL), or having an mildly obsessive sex drive (I was shouted down on another thread for saying that women want casual sex less than men do. I think some of that is societal pressure, but some IS also biology), and things that are actually harmful like watching violent/abusive porn (which is most) or horrible 'kinks' like choking.

Also the way that most men would probably sleep with their female friends if the friends were interested. This is very common & it doesn't necessarily mean they're only or mainly friends with the woman in the hopes of sleeping with her. But often it does, sadly..

Yes, a lot of men prioritise looks, youthfulness, femininity & amiable/easy-going personality. Obviously men vary, but these are pretty common.