To ask if most straight men are attracted much younger women?

[RubyTuesday10]

Had a depressing moment at work today, male colleague played a Jimmy Carr stand-up clip on his phone and it went along the lines of “if I had to pick my favourite child it would be my neighbour’s hot daughter.” The other men with him laughed at it. I couldn’t help feeling a bit nauseous and it’s made me question whether many older straight men actually do fantasise about girls in their late teens or whatever. Perhaps I have been naive to think it was something that just appealed to a minority of perverts. One or two of them have daughters too and it just strikes me as odd that they could even laugh at a joke like that. Am I naive to feel this way?

That's not the same thing. Women are programmed biologically to lean more to at a least slightly older men as they're more likely to be good providers.

Women are most fertile young (ofc not just when early 20s, but that's peak) so it does make biological sense men would be most attracted to young women.

I certainly look down on women who want a hugely rich man. In this economy, you need two incomes more than ever, and women often want to be SAHM so wanting a salary to support that is fair, but wanting huge salaries is not.

I would also, however, look down on a woman who didn't want children and always wanted to work full time but would still expect a man to work full time/earn high salary.

We're not wild beasts. The whole point of being human is that we have rationality, compassion etc to control our urges.

Another man here.

As many others have said, men are just attracted to young female flesh.

If I could press a magic button and redirect all that lust at my wife and never care to look at another young woman, I would press that button in a heartbeat. I would be far happier, less bothered, less ashamed and frustrated, and my wife would enjoy the attention too, I'm sure.

But we can't turn it off. It is permanently on right till the end. So we just have to manage it, and some do this better than others. It takes a lot of discipline to keep the eyes and neck straight sometimes.

I can understand how women find this disgusting and lame. It's a sorry sight I agree. Like a pack of scraggy dogs milling around a bitch on heat.

But men have a similar disgust response when women flock around a man with status or wealth. In both cases it's not pretty, but it's just the way we are biologically wired.

But we are still able to go beyond these animal instincts. There is something deeper to be had.

As a woman, I don't think there's anything bad or shameful about feelings you can't help. Most people find others attractive apart from their spouse yo domestic degree...What matters is what you do, not involuntary thoughts..

I agree it's poor for women to flock to a man just because he's rich, especially if he has nothing else going for him..

Also agree that both sexes can override these instincts. On balance I would judge a man with a much younger girl (esp teenage) more harshly, because there seems to be more potential for exploitation there. Most worldly rich men (usually somewhat older) are less likely to be exploited. But neither us good.

I know on average male sex drive is a lot higher. But doesn't it lessen at all over life, esp 60+? I thought it tapers off somewhat in later middle age & definitely lessens in 70s...? Is it really super high 'till the end'?

Age 16+ young women are beautiful, bodies popping and perky, shiny hair, if they are confident or awkward I can see how much energy and youthfulness they have, I find myself looking at them admiringly at everything they have going for them. I'm a peri menopausal mum who has no intentions or thoughts of sleeziness towards them, but youth is appealing, it's what everyone seems to chase through beauty products, gym and diet.
I imagine men can look at this age group and see similarly to me, probably focusing more on the body rather than the hair or the ease they move around (without backache, sore knees) but don't want to actually have real sex with them, they are what their primal selves should be having sex with to ensure healthy babies. It's maybe a urge that passes quickly, when reality hits?
The problem is the older guys who see youth as something to abuse and control, use up and move onto the next, as they need to feel in control, superior, powerful.
I see young 16+ men the same mostly as the girls but to me they appear even younger with a lot more growing up to do before I would concider them a grown man. they maybe brimming with youth and hormones but could never imagine or think about them as an equal in a relationship, at my age it's 🤮 to think about.

We are descended from wild beasts. Sure, we have developed a rational, thinking mind, but the original, underlying machinery remains, tasked with responsibilities such as life support, self-defence and reproduction, and it is much faster and far more powerful than the higher functions. We can moderate it, with varying degrees of success, but not directly control or eliminate it. The fact that so many people are overweight or obese, despite not wishing to be so, illustrates this. A sexually mature, teenage girl automatically communicates that fact via her appearance, pheromones etc. Men cannot help but receive, interpret and respond to these signals, because they have no control over the equipment that does so. What they can do is moderate what action, if any, they take.

It's not misogynistic for men to find those kinds of women/young girls attractive. What IS misogynistic is them following those thoughts through & exploiting them.

I don't think I've contradicted that? My whole point was that we all have morally bad urges from evolution but since we're human, we have morality etc to control them.

These men don't want to father children with very young women FGS. They just want sex with them.

Do men have a longer shelf life? Or is it that women tend to find older people more attractive than men do?

I mostly date women myself, and what I've noticed is that a lot of bisexual & lesbian women find older women very attractive. Not my thing personally, but it's definitely a pattern.

Whereas gay men often like younger looking men & can run into trouble when they chase youth via gym etc leading to eating disorders & other issues sometimes.

Yes but the drive for sex evolved to create children.

Animals who have sex aren't consciously thinking about kids, they've just evolved to have a sex drive so that babies get born.

So yes, men who think about sleeping with a young woman probably aren't thinking about passing on their genes. But the reason they have that drive in the first place is because men evolved to desire younger women in particular as they're at peak fertility & have the most potential child-bearing years ahead of them.

Exactly, and even if they do, they might get women simply after their money. Plus most women aren't going to want a man who's only wealthy. They'll want some appealing personality traits too, and probably at least some degree of looks/keeping in good shape, at least.

Men like Trump who are objectively unattractive but have married attractive women are the exception, not the rule. It's questionable how many such relationships involve real love, anyhow. Melania, for one, has essentially said that she's with him for his 💰 and he's with her for her looks.

I agree. Also re finding younger men attractive- surely quite a few women do? I'm not convinced it's that rare.

That's horrible, I'm really sorry...☹️

That's what I think. I've read a lot of Substack posts recently where male aspiring authors were claiming they couldn't write about women the way Mailer or Roth or Henry Miller did because they'd get cancelled. They were saying that most women don't want to know what men's internal monologue is often like.

I was thinking, ' Go ahead! It's better for men who have a Henry Miller-style attitude to expose that so we know who to avoid!'

And why do they want sex with them? Because sex has evolved to be intensely pleasurable. And why is that? So people will do it as much as possible, as early as possible. And why is that? So that people will have as many children as possible! So, these men might not consciously want to father children, but evolution is pushing them to do it anyway.

This, I'm afraid... 🤷‍♀️

Are you a robot?

Are you? You could just answer the question.

I'm just glad I'm a lesbian.

It's gross and totally inappropriate they made that joke. Men are biologically wired to notice young women but the decent ones avert their eyes and don't say disgusting things that make others uncomfortable.

So how do you rationalise this when you're in a relationship with a man!

I mean if all men do feel like that????

I mean, why would that be odd.

It seems to me it would be much odder if they weren't. Why would a 25 year old man think women of 23 were the best looking, and somehow that should change as they age?

The point of sexual desire is to push people to make babies. The best people to make babies with, if you are a man, is a fairly young woman who is at peak fertility and probably quite healthy overall. Somewhat older young women might make better mums, but at the same time at least theoretically, men can father multiple children with differernt women in the same time frame. So there are lots of options open for reproductive strategies.

It's not quite the same for women. They invest a lot more in a pregnancy.

It's hardly a "trope" if lots of women feel that way.

The fact that you don't,doesn't disprove it.

I would say for quite a few women above 20, they find the 40 - 55 age bracket about the most attractive. That would go up if you are talking about women closer to 30.

I would say for quite a few women above 20, they find the 40 - 55 age bracket about the most attractive. That would go up if you are
I doubt that, there are plenty women above 20 who find men of similar age attractive. Not oldies 40-55.
Unless he is very fit or rich.
I mean the male 40-55 certainly like the women in their 20's.
They've no problem using a 20 year old photo and having the balls to turn up in RL with a different face and hairline.

Where are you getting your ‘statistics’ from? Who are these ‘lots of women’? To my 20 something daughters, a man over 30 is geriatric and they would assume a man older than that, pursuing them to be predatory. Are you yourself a man?