To ask if most straight men are attracted much younger women?

[RubyTuesday10]

Had a depressing moment at work today, male colleague played a Jimmy Carr stand-up clip on his phone and it went along the lines of “if I had to pick my favourite child it would be my neighbour’s hot daughter.” The other men with him laughed at it. I couldn’t help feeling a bit nauseous and it’s made me question whether many older straight men actually do fantasise about girls in their late teens or whatever. Perhaps I have been naive to think it was something that just appealed to a minority of perverts. One or two of them have daughters too and it just strikes me as odd that they could even laugh at a joke like that. Am I naive to feel this way?

We are a civilised and evolved species with many different factors influencing our choice of partner outside of the basic desire to reproduce. Yet invariably on these threads, 'biology' gets trotted out by creepy men and insecure/enabling women to explain why old men chase women their daughters' age.
I'm pointing out that if this biological urge was so strong it outweighed our sophistication then women would not be immune. Because there is no biological driver for women to want 'rugged' (a flattering term for getting on a bit and past their biological peak) men, or to see men in their 20s as 'boys' when they are at the ideal age to create healthy pregnancies.

@5128gapThis is what i was saying earlier about having a brain and choices and not be only driven by pure biology. There is a lot of 'poor men, can't help it' without a thought to how misogyny is a bigger driving force than anything else.

I don't think it follows that women would act the same if it was a biological urge. Men and women are very different.

And there do seem to be biological urges in this area. For example, studies have shown that women are more attracted to 'masculine' men when they're ovulating.

Rugged doesn't mean past their peak. A young man can be rugged, although usually it's used for men in at least their 30s. I'd say Gérard Butler or Sean Bean could be called rugged. A young Leonardo Dicaprio, Benedict Cumberbatch, or Jarvis Cocker less so. The difference between a lumberjack/mechanic stereotype and an office worker with soft hands.

Why is it depressing?

Depressing that most men find young women, who have adult secondary sexual characteristics, attractive?

My eldest daughter, by the time she was 15, had the body of a grown woman, with all the same physical markers of attractiveness as a 25 year old woman. The brain isn't going to notice one and not the other.

I'm not sure if it's just that some women really can't understand the differernce between finding someone just physically attractive and finding them attractive in a deeper more holistic way. It does seem the two are more joined up for women than men overall, but often I think also more for younger women than older ones.

Is the expectation that somehow men (and I guess women too) not notice that people who are far from them in age are sexually attractive, even very beautiful?

You're describing a particular type of look there, associated with out doorsy, physical, traditionally masculine men, which some women are attracted to. However, this thread is about age and how it effects attractiveness.
Not all women are attracted to 'rugged' as you describe it, and for certain the average, out of shape, office working indoor man isn't going to be 'rugged' however old he is.
The term is usually used to make a virtue out of the craggy, thickened and uneven skin, sun damage and general well worn features of an aging man.
There is no female equivalent not because older men look more attractive this way, but because men devalue older women and over value their aging selves. And some women are conditioned to agree.

Men are biologically wired to look for physical characteristics, youth and attractiveness, and women are more biologically wired to look for safety and security. So maybe if women are more attracted to "rugged" men or older men, regardless of their conventional physical attractiveness, it's because these men seem more able to provide protection and security.

The men are unconsciously looking for the most fertile women and the women are unconsciouslylooking for the men who are most able to provide security.

I definitely prefer ‘rugged’ so. It’s deep 😁

Exactly right 👏👏

The peds and rapists are, but no not most men.

I think a lot of men ARE attracted to much younger women,but equally I think that a lot of younger men are attracted to older women. I'm now 62,and when I was aged between 54 and 59,I had several men aged between 26(!) and 45 ask me out. I've not had any approaches for a couple of years now,either I'm looking old and haggard or since deciding I'm done with men (long story!) I'm giving out negative 'leave me alone' vibes.

You're describing a particular type of look there, associated with out doorsy, physical, traditionally masculine men, which some women are attracted to.

Yes, the 'rugged' look. 🤣

There is no female equivalent not because older men look more attractive this way, but because men devalue older women and over value their aging selves. And some women are conditioned to agree.

Not sure I wholly agree. Some women also end up with skin like a leather handbag after too much time spent in the sun. But women in general value assertiveness and status more. Age can bring the perception of wisdom and authority. Studies show that women become more attracted to bald men as they age (not 'balding' btw, bald as in a completely bald head). Again, men with a bald head are often perceived as more authoritative.

This isn't inherently discriminatory because nobody fancies a man with a nice curvy booty either.

I like Iron Man’s bum.

Agree with @JohnTheRevelator. I think most men are attracted to younger women, however I’m in my 50s and have noticed men paying me much more attention in the last few years. My DH also mentions when he sees men ‘checking me out’ (his words). These men range in ages from mid twenties to (I think) seventies. Maybe it’s women’s midlife confidence which is attractive to them? Whatever the reason, it does give me a boost.

This is true. Men tend to let themselves go, and it’s a shame and we should actually shame them for gaining weight (particularly in the unhealthy pattern that they do), dressing sloppily, doing nothing about balding (lots can be done nowadays) and going around with Jack o’Lantern teeth.

The problem is not high standards for women. The problem is that the standards for men are so fucking low.

Yes I understand that women can also look older and sun damaged. My point was that you describe that as a positive in a man while likening a woman to 'an old leather handbag', when in reality they're both signs that the person isn't at their biological prime, so if these theories hold true, should be overlooked as a mate.
Yet your imagination, fueled by the propaganda of older men, reinvents middle aged Colin, who has spent too much time round the pool in Benidorm, as a manly man who looks that way because he's spent a life hunting and protecting.
Women may report becoming more attracted to bald men as they (the women) age because they are likely to be partnered with one and are biased/kind or else realistic about how hirsute their dating pool has become. If it was really a plus and percieved as 'wisdom' then young women would be attracted to them too.

Do women really find bald men especially attractive? I just find that hard to compute. I'm not saying they're not attractive, but I'm surprised if people find them MORE attractive than men with all their hair.

Obviously this isn't a terribly reliable metric, but I can't think of a single male celebrity whose been lauded for their attractiveness while being bald.. Goggling comes up with mainly examples like Travolta who were not bald when they were praised for their looks.

Jason Statham?

I've never heard any woman say so. Other than to their partners in relief they have shaved the lot off, rather than the bouffing, comb overs, monk style or weird hair island they sport whilst still in denial.

I love bald, I met my DH when he had hair, he was not for me. Then I saw him again two years later and he was bald, well the rest is history.
I like the Grant Mitchell/Eastenders look.

They generally don’t - which I assume is why hair transplants are a popular procedure for men to have.

Most of the men in our Royal family succumbed to male pattern baldness - most were considered handsome before this happened.

I also love bald men and find them sexy.
Stanley Tucci, Patrick Stewart, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis (major crush when I was younger..)

Yes but Jason Statham is not the average bald men. Most men you meet in real life don’t look like him 🤣

The comment specifically referred to celebrities.

Aren't there more obese women than men though?