To wonder what people actually expect and why they can’t just be happy to live simply?

[Terrazzomazzo]

So many posts on here of people saying that they are running out of money and “I have no fun money” et. Why can’t people just be happy that they have enough to pay their mortgage pay their bills and feed their family and clothe their children? When did holidays , excess “stuff” and weekends of fun days out and take away etc become a given right and expectation?

Absolutely they should just be happy working until they keel over. Thoroughly unreasonable of them to expect to be rewarded for working hard by having a few things to enjoy in life. Heaven forfend.

To the workhouses with them I say......

YABVU
People want money for fun things, and they want to do fun things because that is part of enjoying life. There is more to life than work and childrearing.

Thank fuck. What a miserable goady post

I agree with this. The truth is nuanced and somewhere in between the extremes. Theres a lot of crap we don’t need, but equally, life is about more than working to survive.

In the sixth largest economy in the world, all citizens should have access to the basics.

• Safe, nutritious foods in adequate amounts
• Housing that is fit for purpose that they can afford to heat properly
• clean drinking water
• medical and dental care delivered in a timely way

If we sorted out these basic things, productivity would improve. It’s hard to give your best with a raging toothache because you cannot afford private dental care.

I have some acquaintances who have constant "treats". I seriously wonder if they have had an inheritance or a lottery win (and yes I know it's not my business, I'm just curious). They no longer see these things as special and are always now looking for the next bigger and better experience, house, car etc. Their life is back to back theatre trips, city breaks, shopping sprees, house restyling or moving, bucket list style holidays and so on. And they'd probably say they're hard up and bored if you asked them.

I have never even heard of half the things on that list ^^ but then I’m not on Instagram!

I could imagine that conversation at the royal tables, and the patronising laugh "why can't little people be happy with what they have"! They have a King parading in a gold coach and waving from the windows of his private palaces, what more do they want? 😂

If someone is spending 40+ hours per week working, why shouldn't they have money to enjoy? It's great if we can be happy with the little things in life but let's not strive for hard working people being deprived of luxury whilst they make money for millionaires.

Because working and eating and doing nothing else in life is a pretty miserable way to live.

Years ago things were more expensive so we had less I think. Then imported goods manufactured abroad was cheaper so we all got more stuff and came to expect it.

The point of the op. According to her if your pay is covering your basics, why do you moan for more

You’ll be glad to hear my teens have never had any of that nonsense and I get my hair cut once a year and can’t be bothered with any make up etc and my husband thinks it’s a waste of money too.

Our money mainly goes on a range of outdoor sports that the whole family takes part in / competes in. Travel, kit, kids training camps, kids squad fees, entries etc easily come to £15,000 a year which we can afford. Sport is important to us and binds us together as a family and at an age when kids want to spend less time with their family, our kids want to spend more.

It’s a great way of living.

And this is where literally there is no difference between their lifestyle and the lifestyle op describes, both cases cover their needs, just the richer never end consuming, changing stuff which literally is just stuff in rotation while the poorer go with the same but still go

I don't think people read what the op post is all about. This is not a starvation life, just normal basic life

again...

define "normal" and "basic"?

This. The only thing I would say is that one car families, apart from in cities with excellent public transport, became impossible when women started to choose to, or have to, work, and the same for getting kids to school where school is not in walking distance (or like round here where the road to school is along a fast main road with no pavements). I know it sounds like old fart speak but when we moved into our first home, apart from the bed, the cooker and fridge and the three piece, it was all wedding gifts...oh and a dining table and chairs bought in the MFI sale. We had money for the odd pub visit or takeaway but no holidays for the first few years. TV was rented and mobile phones didn't exist. This is not some kind of "oh the past as paradise" spiel but I do think that expectations have changed a lot and for some people, this could be at least a part of the issue.

I think the other driver of treats is more
freely available credit - I see people spend 5-10k on a holiday whilst I squirrel
away a grand in savings feeling poor by comparison. I ‘can’t afford’ the expensive holiday as I would never put a holiday on credit. I could if I chose to though. Person booking the holiday couldn’t make the choice to save 1k though - they don’t have cash they are servicing the interest on a credit card. That’s a hard loop to get out of.

With only bread and water at mealtimes.
Bread and dripping if you work extra hard!

Well said OP.

But to answer your question... Because capitalism.

Every single message we receive throughout our day in almost any context is that we must consume, therefore we exist. And people feel FOMO if they aren't consuming. This pressure is built inot advanced economies, but most prominent in the US and Britain. Every little thing you do costs money.

I come from a culture where a lot of things are free most of the time, e.g. parking, visiting nature, cultural experiences, and excessive consumption or wearing visibly branded items or driving a showy car is looked down upon. It's a much easier life.

In my 20s I had a lot of financial means and consumed a lot, especially in terms of excessive travel, experiences etc. Nothing really satisfied me, it felt almost like a hamster wheel of needing new stuff, new experiences, upgrades.

In my 30s I've put the money away into savings and assets and live a much simpler life, walks, coffees with friends at my place, exercising outside, reading in the sun... I'm a million times happier.

Consumption is very addictive, spending money is addicitive, and in the UK every little thing is heavily monetised, from the moment you open your eyes. It's very hard to step away and detach from that lifestyle, it's very normalised, and so people spend-spend-spend.

Just the way our society and social programming works.

I’d guess because 5, 10, 15 years ago we had more than we do now? Better services, nicer food, less worries, everything was cheaper and easier!

I’ve been very lucky and not had to massively worry about money (I’m quite simple really) but I’ve started to worry. As a household we earn the most money we ever have yet it’s shorter than ever before. There’s more to life than being glad I’ve paid every bill due and that’s it, can’t imagine anyone on their deathbed being thrilled that at least the bank and edf got paid…

I think you’re saying “you can see what she means though” - if so, absolutely. Hyper-consumerism is out of hand.

But to accept mere basics from full time work while businesses make mega profits from your hard labour? Are ya sure about that? 😬

If I had fun money I would like to “consume” books to keep, loads of plants and such for my garden, a Friday takeaway, lots of trips around the UK to see some history and stay in some new places, a comfortable sofa, quality clothes that are made to last years, things like that.

Everything functions better when you’re not stuck in survival mode. Relationships, your health, your cognitive function, everything.

I kind of get what the OP means but life is just different now. Some tech like smart ones and broadband are essentials now. I watched this old bbc doc on youtube about the cost of living in the UK in 1969 and it was really a stark difference. Housing was so much cheaper but food was much more expensive and the lifestyles people had was very basic compared to today. Different times and expectations but I think it should be a good thing that ordinary people would expect a better standard of living.

I don't expect a luxury lifestyle, to be hitting the shops or eating out every week. I use the library, try to prioritise nice home cooked food and simple pleasures and save eating out for a special treat. Some simple pleasures can be expensive now as well the consumable costs for many hobbies are really expensive now. We had some nice green belt land locally we could get out for walks on without driving but they are building luxury villa's on it now.

We have lots of spare money but we’d never buy coffee when we’re out, buy clothes for fun (nothing worse than clothes shopping!), get deliveroo, go to Michelin star restaurants, do Alton towers etc. The things just don’t appeal. They give us no pleasure. Other people are different. It is easy to slip into bad spending habits.

I reccomend taking a month where you get petrol, pay bills and buy basic groceries and try to spend nothing else. Sandwiches and a thermos if out, take a packed lunch to work, go to free museums etc. It really helps show you what ‘treats’ you value and what money you just spend out of habit.

I really disagree that this is about a monk-like self-denial vs fun and joy.

There are lots of ways to have a pleasurable life without endless consumption.

Capitalism, in order to survive, needs to keep expanding. It can't ever stay still.

And that's what it's done - convinced us that there are things we need to buy in order to live a half-decent life.

It's just not true.

We don't need to go back to the 1970s and wringing out the washing in order to live on say half of what lots of us think is vital.

Plenty of toddlers could have a parent at home for the first vital couple of years if we did. We're also in absolute denial about what low quality industrial childcare is doing to babies and toddlers - to all of us, in fact.