Page 2 | To wonder what people actually expect and why they can’t just be happy to live simply?

dottiehens · 08/10/2025 15:26

Because life is for living not to work like a dog for nothing. I can’t even believe your miserable outlook for life.

OneDenimBird · 08/10/2025 15:26

FigAboutTheRules · 08/10/2025 15:19

Interesting thread. I was thinking about 'lifestyle creep' earlier, and how much social media feeds into it. I saw an advert for a 'candle warmer' which is an electric contraption that melts the wax of your candle without you having to light it, so that you can get the scent. It even provides a simulated candle-like glow around your not-lit candle. My mind was blown by the idea that people might buy such a thing (plus the candle), instead of, say, buy a room spray and put a side lamp on.

my mind is blown but the sheer existence of this "gadget", nothing to do with cost, but why.. just why 😂

Nothankyov · 08/10/2025 15:26

Because people work hard. Make sacrifices either for their jobs or to help others and a healthy life involves more than just work,pay your bills and clothe your children. And not everyone likes the Sam things. Weird post imo.

coxesorangepippin · 08/10/2025 15:27

Yeah I bet the billionaires say this all the time

Fecking plebs and their stupid dreams

Curlewcurfew · 08/10/2025 15:28

BatchCookBabe · 08/10/2025 14:57

Because the last time I checked, the UK was not a communist country.

The entire point of communism (in theory, though sadly not when distorted in practice) is to give people scope for self-fulfilment and creativity! OP's miserable picture is more a capitalist ideal.

coxesorangepippin · 08/10/2025 15:28

Problem is: a lot of people don't have enough money to pay a mortgage or cloth their kids.

YourPeppyAmberTraybake · 08/10/2025 15:30

FigAboutTheRules · 08/10/2025 15:19

Interesting thread. I was thinking about 'lifestyle creep' earlier, and how much social media feeds into it. I saw an advert for a 'candle warmer' which is an electric contraption that melts the wax of your candle without you having to light it, so that you can get the scent. It even provides a simulated candle-like glow around your not-lit candle. My mind was blown by the idea that people might buy such a thing (plus the candle), instead of, say, buy a room spray and put a side lamp on.

Just as someone’s mind boggles about why not just put the lamp on?

ohyesido · 08/10/2025 15:31

Because life is to be lived not endured? TV

TotallyUnapologeticOmnivore · 08/10/2025 15:31

Because the desire for something better fuels creativity, invention and progress of both the technological and social kind.

SeagullSam2027 · 08/10/2025 15:33

People in the 'middle' are waking up to the fact that they have to lower their lifestyle expectations. It's particularly difficult as they see those only just above them pulling away quickly in terms of accumulating wealth whilst also having significant amounts of disposable income.

Londonmummy66 · 08/10/2025 15:35

First of all - we should work to live not live to work. SO many people can no longer do that as 2 average full time jobs do not provide a roof over the head and enough to live on in some areas of the UK unless the state steps in to top them up. State benefits should, quite rightly, not be paying for luxuries and fun.However, full time work should reward people for working and part of that reward should be to be able to afford something over the basics. I'm starting to see a bit of a trend to young people saying they'll take a job that they think is fun, albeit low paying, so that they can get topped up on the grounds that there is no point going for the grind if the grind doesn't pay.

Thepeopleversuswork · 08/10/2025 15:36

Because people want to do more than just exist and who are you to tell them what they "should" want out of life?

Because the harder people work, the more they tend to want to be compensated for that. You may not agree with that philosophy but you can't put limits on how people spend their time or money.

Because this is subjective: one person's idea of "living simply" is wildly different from another's. Your idea of living beyond your means is someone else's idea of a desperately drab life.

Because having and educating children is expensive even if you do it frugally. Once you have children you owe it to them to optimise their lives as far as you can afford nutritionally, educationally, socially. Imposing a Puritanical worldview on your spouse and children is just going to make everyone miserable.

DramaLlamacchiato · 08/10/2025 15:37

You sound fun OP

BellRock1234 · 08/10/2025 15:39

Katypp · 08/10/2025 15:05

This is really interesting and is what DH and I were discussing this morning. I have a child in his mid-30s, I had another who will be graduating next year. I get that life is hard for younger people and families.
But I do think what is forgotten in the many, many threads on MN about how greedy boomers are having 14989 cruises a year while young families struggle is that expectations are SO much higher these days.
We passed a nursery at drop-off time today in an ordinary wc area and my goodness, the cars were all massive and no more than two years old. When did it become the norm to drive a huge SUV around? When I was a teen, an average family car was something like a Ford Escort or similar, and most (not all) families only had one car.
The amount of activities families seem to consider normal has ramped up massively too - all costing money from the family budget. Holidays and takeaways seem to be expected too.
So while I would not ever say young families can't afford to buy a house because they buy a takeaway coffee every day (although that's another relatively-new thing), the incremental increased cost of all these things that people seem to feel they are entitled to because both parents work, or we are a rich economy, or whatever.
Because what a pp described upthread as a miserable existence is pretty much they way life was up until about 25 years ago.

I don't think a lot of that is true.

Thirty years ago, things like a trip to the cinema, 10 pin bowling, ice skating, etc was well within the reach of a typical 12 year old with a paper round. Now, it's a luxury for a working adult.

And the second hand cost of cars is so high, that a lot of people with a need of a reliable car end up paying £300 a month, because they can't afford £8k outright for a basic car.

InMyShowgirlEra · 08/10/2025 15:39

Oh I don't know, perhaps some people aren't that keen on the idea of just surviving until they die and would quite like to be able to enjoy the limited hours they don't spend working.

SaratogaFilly · 08/10/2025 15:41

Katypp · 08/10/2025 15:05

This is really interesting and is what DH and I were discussing this morning. I have a child in his mid-30s, I had another who will be graduating next year. I get that life is hard for younger people and families.
But I do think what is forgotten in the many, many threads on MN about how greedy boomers are having 14989 cruises a year while young families struggle is that expectations are SO much higher these days.
We passed a nursery at drop-off time today in an ordinary wc area and my goodness, the cars were all massive and no more than two years old. When did it become the norm to drive a huge SUV around? When I was a teen, an average family car was something like a Ford Escort or similar, and most (not all) families only had one car.
The amount of activities families seem to consider normal has ramped up massively too - all costing money from the family budget. Holidays and takeaways seem to be expected too.
So while I would not ever say young families can't afford to buy a house because they buy a takeaway coffee every day (although that's another relatively-new thing), the incremental increased cost of all these things that people seem to feel they are entitled to because both parents work, or we are a rich economy, or whatever.
Because what a pp described upthread as a miserable existence is pretty much they way life was up until about 25 years ago.

I agree with this completely.

Tagalogalog · 08/10/2025 15:42

@Mushroo these things are what toddlers like! Mine would happily play in the garden, toddle in wellies through the park or woods, sit in the trolley whilst I shopped. And we love games! Okay not monopoly but my kids will play games for hours - long past my boredom threshold!

A lot of simple fun has been lost - digging in the garden, mending your bike, building a shelf unit, reading a library book or sewing a new dress, having family round to lunch or simply going to church. These things have been replaced by expensive complex pastimes and hobbies to “help” fix our fitness and mindfulness and wellbeing. I think it’s a shame we have lost sight of the pleasure of a small and quiet life.

Thepeopleversuswork · 08/10/2025 15:42

TotallyUnapologeticOmnivore · 08/10/2025 15:31

Because the desire for something better fuels creativity, invention and progress of both the technological and social kind.

And this. There's a reason why communism generally doesn't work, because if people are told to limit themselves to seeking only to meet their basic needs and be at parity with everyone else, there's no incentive to work harder than anyone else.

God knows there's a lot to dislike about capitalism but it does at least provide a reason to reach higher, to innovate and to grow.

Octavia64 · 08/10/2025 15:43

Well holidays started in Victorian times. So they’ve been an expectation for quite a long time.

the mills in my town in the north would shut for a couple of weeks and everyone would decamp to Blackpool en masse.

Avantiagain · 08/10/2025 15:48

"When did holidays , excess “stuff” and weekends of fun days out and take away etc become a given right and expectation?"

A week's holiday has been commonplace for a long time as has a chippy tea.

Thepeopleversuswork · 08/10/2025 15:49

@Tagalogalog

A lot of simple fun has been lost - digging in the garden, mending your bike, building a shelf unit, reading a library book or sewing a new dress, having family round to lunch or simply going to church. These things have been replaced by expensive complex pastimes and hobbies to “help” fix our fitness and mindfulness and wellbeing. I think it’s a shame we have lost sight of the pleasure of a small and quiet life.

This is mainly just rose-tinted spectacle wearing. These things are all seen through the glow of nostalgia but at the time they weren't necessarily seen as "the pleasure of a small and quiet life", they were seen as the trappings of a drab and limiting life.

Ask the average person from the 1950s or 1960s if they'd like something more interesting to do than "mending their bike" or "going to church" and they would bite your hand off. Why do you think intelligent young people from small towns generally have escaped them as fast as they can? TV, the internet, all these technological developments took off for a reason: because people wanted them. They certainly have their downsides (which is a whole other thread) but all of them offer people access to worlds they previously couldn't imagine.

I'm not a fan of mindless consumerism and gadget hoarding but I think harking back to a much poorer and more limited world with far fewer options, fewer leisure activities is daft.

Avantiagain · 08/10/2025 15:50

Look up Wakes week.

Katypp · 08/10/2025 15:52

Octavia64 · 08/10/2025 15:43

Well holidays started in Victorian times. So they’ve been an expectation for quite a long time.

the mills in my town in the north would shut for a couple of weeks and everyone would decamp to Blackpool en masse.

Posts like this and the one upthread about trips to the cinema etc are kind of missing the point really. No one is saying that either of these things were invented in the last 10 years.
It's more to do with they way they are taken for granted today - trips to soft play, farms, lunches out, bowling, date nights etc were all very much treats enjoyed occasionally. Now it seem it's almost regarded as deprivation if you wan't afford a weekly soft play trip followed by lunch with your toddler ( who for some reason NEEDS more entertaining than previous generations of toddlers did.
It's true that more families need both parents to work today, but it's equally true to say that none of the above were even remotely regular activities for the average family in the the 1970s/80s or even the 90s.

TotallyUnapologeticOmnivore · 08/10/2025 15:52

Because giving the entire population a lobotomy would be prohibitively expensive.

Londonmummy66 · 08/10/2025 15:53

I 've just had a look at the payscale for the job my father did when I was growing up. Outside of London it pays £76-90k. That job enabled my father to buy a large detached house with a big garden in one of the naice suburbs of our city, send two DC to private school, run a car and take several family holidays a year, some in the UK and some abroad plus DB and I did a number of extra curricular activities. DM was a SAHM. That house would now cost in the region of £800-900k, the school fees at my old school are now nearly £21k per child. Work just doesn't pay as well as it used to.