To wonder what people actually expect and why they can’t just be happy to live simply?

[Terrazzomazzo]

So many posts on here of people saying that they are running out of money and “I have no fun money” et. Why can’t people just be happy that they have enough to pay their mortgage pay their bills and feed their family and clothe their children? When did holidays , excess “stuff” and weekends of fun days out and take away etc become a given right and expectation?

Intererestingly, my grandparents used to go to the cinema and then get fish and chips most weekends before they had kids. My grandad had a decent but not massive wage in an industrial job and my grandma altered clothing from home as a side hustle to being a housewife, something she had really developed during the war. Looking at local prices, you'd need about £30 - £40 a time to do that now as a couple.

It’s not lazy parenting to focus on not having debt, to not pay for holidays every year or to have the days out you can afford which don’t have to cost a fortune.

huh??!

It only means you had shit parents, on which planet entertaining your own kids is a modern thing. If nothing else, many parents used to be more involved with kids than they are now.

You been spying on my lifestyle or something? 😂😂😂

Dont need to do any research. Well aware holidays existed, the feeling of entitlement to a holiday every year let alone multiple however did not.

Things that should be simple pleasures, which everyone needs to make life more than a trudge, have become very expensive. So to live 'simply' in many areas in Britain you do actually need a good amount of money, which is a problem when wages haven't kept up.

I never said you need to go into debts to be good parents, but refusing on principle to do anything and pretending that "simple things and simple life" with no expense and no entertainment is the right way to raise a child is bonkers.

Choosing to stay home with a board game when there are so many things to do in this country and other will never be my choice. Board games are for injury and sick days when you are desperate and bored😂

They certainly weren’t and they certainly didn’t feel the needed to fill up every day of the school holidays with expensive fun. You made your own fun.

yes indeed but spending all of your money on "treats" and them moaning you are broke is not!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consumer_revolution

Not a terrible overview. If you want one specific to the Renaissance Italian States, then here’s another:
https://warwick.ac.uk/fac/arts/history/students/modules/hi985/topics/consumption_and_its_control/dcs-38903_2.pdf

Or an academic talk on the Renaissance era in general, ostensibly the first age of commercial globalization:

www.huntington.org/videos-and-recorded-programs/miraculous-things-culture-consumerism-renaissance

you are confusing your opinion with facts.

If we all agree - because it's a fact - that holidays have existed for centuries, surely it means that at least some people wanted them.

Well sure I mean that’s extreme and just silly,

Oh there are plenty of things you can do out of the house. Lazy parenting in my view is thinking you can only entertain your kids in expensive theme parks and experiences and soft play. Parks, woods, libraries and many other things cost nothing or next to nothing.

Even then I want to be able to afford a NICE hot chocolate, preferably fair trade for example, decent waterproof hiking boots, enough to be able to feed a dog an optimum diet for their health and transport to nice scenery of I like that. I want to be able to afford a decent hoover for dog hair, space to store all the dogs stuff and my extra weatherproof gear, a nice house for me and the dog etc etc etc. a nice dog walk and a hot chocolate doesn't actually come that cheap

Well I am mid 50s and I think there is some truth in the saying I have heard that ‘things you need are expensive and things you want are cheap’.

interesting to think of things that didn’t exist or were rare in my 70s childhood:

• advent calendar’s with goodies in. I had to share a paper one with my sibling and then shut the windows to reuse next year
• soft play or high ropes or forest school experiences
• baby classes like massage or yoga
• multiple school residentials
• take away coffee
• frequent meals out
• moving into a house and furnishing it immediately with items that match
• Christmas Eve boxes, Easter baskets, shop bought decorations for any event other than Christmas
• matching pjs for families and for different seasons - ditto bedlinen
• hen weekends or overnight events
• a plethora of logoed school uniform items and no uniform in primary
• high end make up and skin care being used by the masses
• services to decorate your door at Xmas/stencil your window or even put lights up
• events to make things like a door wreath at £100 a pop
• nails, brows, tattoos, cosmetic tweaks
• food delivery by the likes of Deliveroo
• replacing a school bag/pencil case/uniform because it’s the start of the school year
• trips to Disney - I still remember the Jim’ll fix it were a farmer family went ‘when the cows came home’. It was a remote fantasy.

i am sure there are more…

no one wants to just cover bills however there have definitely been big social changes towards more goods and services being the norm in the past few decades.

Nope I’m not.

People did not think holidays let alone multiple holidays a year were a necessity and a basic. They were a nice to have when you could afford them.

Well done OP on a well executed frothy opening post and no return. Excellent work. 🏆

You can look at it this way but you can also agree with op

Oh yes, and pets. Lots and lots of pets now, that are looked after very well (which is good) but there’s some spending going on especially with dogs, particularly as the current fashionable breeds need grooming.

again.. all or nothing?
Either you go away for the entire 6 weeks or never at all?

Even my grand-parents were sent to beach holidays at least once a year because it was believed the sea air would keep them healthy for the rest of the year, and because it was fun.

I agree with that, life is too short to be miserable.

Communism out of Russia wasn't communism. Just life like here

We got a TV around 1960. The cinema was still popular, but as TV developed, cinemas closed. Kids were still going to Saturday cinema clubs in the 80s IIRC? Would they be left on their own now? Unlikely.

Going out has become less frequent, and I agree more expensive in many cases. Theatre survives, but it’s costly, concerts and festivals aren’t cheap but they are well attended. Holidays are also far more exotic and expensive. People exercise different choices. The cost of a new iPhone for instance!

I dont necessarily think you should live like a nun or live miserably but I know a couple of people (not related) who most weeks are going out, (concerts/theatres etc) meals out or takeaway, having hair and nails done, regularly go away for weekends etc....but borrow/ask their parents for money for more mundane things. They are in their 40s/50s
One works less than 16 hours a week and the other doesnt work at all, they obviously like fun things (not unreasonably) but I've not worked out why they wouldn't work more hours, or go out slightly less to afford the boring stuff.

My SIL asked if id seen a particular west end show the other day, and I said no because its expensive. She found that quite amusing, but we only go for treats like birthday or Xmas, maybe once or twice a year. I think that the more you go out/have a meal out/see a show etc, then it becomes less of a treat....and then a treat - different to your normal - has to be a level up, or more expensive ....and thats when it starts getting unaffordable.

Agree with this.
Expectations are different.
Loads of cars are too big for the roads.
Everyone wants new, and they want it now.

I think there is a whole cohort of comfortable middle class people, living in lovely spacious homes, surrounded by pretty walks, who can’t understand why the masses are not content with “pottering” around thriftily.
They sneer at people wanting to get their nails done or go on a package deal to Greece because they don’t value those things.
It’s one thing knowing you have a fat pension coming, assets and savings and choosing a quiet lifestyle. It’s quite another doing the daily grind, in a job with little upward mobility, and coming home to a small tatty house or flat with a postage stamp garden and noisy neighbours.
My life is ok, I’m lucky to live on a quiet ish estate and with some countryside nearby, but I can’t afford the things that would break up the monotony really.
And there’s NOTHING for teens that isn’t £££. Bowling, cinema- really expensive. There are no free sports clubs anymore, buses are £5 return each to the nearest town, there are barely any gig venues now and when bands do play it’s £££. Festivals are outrageous, getting a boat on the river, ice skating, the gym. I could definitely do way more on little money when I was young.