Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

My Grandads next door neighbours are Jehovah's Witnesses. I've known them for over thirty years, absolutely lovely people. I never thought of name dropping 😂

Everyone affected by him should list factually what he is doing and when (give times and dates) and email it to HR. It needs nipping in the bud now.

You don’t need to tiptoe around him. It’s fine for him to express his views but not fine for him to tell others they are wrong or try to impose his musical tastes on the office majority, as long as what’s being played or said isn’t outright offensive. Your manager needs to tell him firmly to wind his neck in. But do make sure you have the clear support of other colleagues before you raise it with the manager.

I think it would be unreasonable to mention it to the manager unless and until you have mentioned it to him, specifically that he needs to take the log out of his own eye before he starts banging on about the motes in everybody else's eyes. His behaviour is self-centred and boorish and must be extremely tiresome. The workplace is not the right setting for evangelical preaching, and if he continues after you've expressed disapproval, preferably concerted disapproval, not of his beliefs but of his behaviour as part of a team - then you go to the manager.

Completely inappropriate, he should not be advising colleagues about the course of their life to align with his. Very odd that he feels only worship music should be played, unless your place of work is in a church, I can't really see any workplace having Songs of Praise on as background music!

Please, please get him going about evolution. It's so funny listening to these God bothering arseholes perform their mental gymnastics trying to disprove solid, scientific facts.

I imagine he is part of a church that encourages this behaviour.
DHs cousin joined a church and now it’s her whole life. On the days she works she goes once, on non working days 2-3 times. She has nothing else now. She also gives them lots of money (easier when you have no other life). They don’t want her building relationships with non-attendees and are constantly told there is something wrong with them.

Sure. 🙄
I’m sure @ThatLadyLadycan confirm which radio station they listen to, but, i’m guessing that it’s something inoffensive; like Radio 2, or Magic.

Live and let live? That's the absolutely opposite of what this annoying colleague is doing. I'm sure OP and the other people in the office would be unhappy if the same regressive views were being parroted by devout Muslims or Jews. The fundamentalists in most religious have views that are incompatiable with the social norms of this country and they should definitely not be aired in the workplace.

I've worked with some lovely Jehovah's Witnesses - they saved their proslytising for when they were doing their house calls

Meant to say that any music/radio played in the office should be neutral in terms of language/theme. I don't find X rated lyrics to be appropriate in the workplace either.

Usually just a chilled Spotify playlist to be fair!

I come from a very Christian family (I'm not religious myself even though brought up that way) and they would be appalled by this. A true Christian doesn't foist their judgement on other people. They quietly get on with their own beliefs. I've spent a good bit of time in Texas and this reminds me of Christianity I experienced over there. I guess it's a rise of fanaticism and intolerance, not religion.

Yes, live and let live.

I've re-read the OP. If you replace every mention of 'Christian' in the OP with 'Muslim', would that not be considered Islamophobic?

.

No. The OP was very careful not to be discriminatory.

I don’t think so? I’ve not got an issue with him having those beliefs. It’s always talking about them.

We don’t want to cause any trouble because it could make things so uncomfortable and difficult

I do understand but surely jts already uncomfortable and difficult, so thàt needs addressing

Perhaps this is his end game? He WANTS to have something made about it, he wants to face a disciplinary, so he can get to be a martyr for his faith and complain loudly about how 'Christians are the most persecuted'.

That said, it's utterly unacceptable so you're going to have to make a formal complaint. If he isn't aware that what he's doing is beyond the pale, he ought to be made aware that civilised people don't behave like this at work. And if he is aware, as I suspect he is, then he needs to be stopped. It's workplace harassment.

OP, do you mind saying roughly what sort of work/workplace it is? I don't see why you feel constrained against 'making a fuss' and not wanting to rock the boat - there are 40 of you, he's one junior colleague. What's going on??

Why would it? It's fundamentalist religion doesn't matter which one.
I probably would have told him to keep his made up beliefs to himself but I have no tolerance for zealots of any kind.
I worked with a Muslim bloke who told us we should all fast for Ramadan, I told him it was his right to do that but I didn't believe in it so wouldn't be doing it. He accepted it.

You need to get this tedious bore disciplined. He's causing awkward tension in your workplace. He has no right to dictate what you do and don't listen to in work, and what you should and shouldn't believe.

You're worried about things becoming uncomfortable and difficult but they already are.

That is outrageous. People can believe whatever they want but to foist it onto others is disgusting.

I was hoping you’d be listening to a lot of George Benson and Dusty Springfield on Smooth!
Thank you for replying.

The key word is ‘chilled’!

Never mind the manager, why don't you just tell him to shut up yourself ?