Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

a Tim Minchin playlist wouldn’t really be suitable as background music at work, would it? shame…

As a gay person, I would find working with a colleague like this incredibly uncomfortable. It would make me feel rather unsafe, personally. If management didn't step in to mediate the situation, and the expectation was placed upon me to defend myself alone, then I would likely end up leaving the job entirely. As previous posters have said, you might not know the circumstances of some of the people who are listening to his unsolicited preaching. Perhaps you and some of your colleagues could make a formal complaint together, so it isn't one person "rocking the boat" alone?

I like to be tolerant and understanding of religious beliefs where I can, but I draw the line at accepting intolerance.

I didn’t suggest it was. I actually think he’s acting illegally himself, so it needs sorting properly.

They need to shut this down quickly as they can OP. As has been said several times across the thread his religious belief is a protected characteristic under the Equality Act, but I think what needs to be pointed out to this man is that so is everyone elses’ and lack of religious belief - atheism, agnosticism - is also a protected characteristic. He is almost certainly acting illegally if he’s using the workplace to inflict his beliefs on everyone else, because they have just as much protection under the Act as he does.

Nobody should be forcing religious beliefs on anyone in the workplace no matter what religion especially as you do get extreme bigots. If you start allowing religious preaching in the workplace, how long before a terrorist attack is carried out by someone radicalised at work!

Also nobody should be badgering people about abortion in the workplace! There could be women in that office who've been through abortion in the past for any number of valid reasons or dads that have had to lose babies in that way because the baby was too poorly to be born etc, it could be triggering and distressing and this guy just sounds like he'd criticise them.
You cannot have bigotry in a place where people can't walk away and escape it.

Hold your horses.. Unsafe? Uncomfortable and irritating, yes, but hardly unsafe. Get over yourself..

Good for you, OP.
Don't let them sit on it or let it fade away.

He's entitled to his views but is not entitled to tell you that your opposing views are wrong.
Go to management. Better for them to deal with it, and any fallout, than you.

I am a Catholic but wouldn't dream of behaving like him.

Please quote to him John 8:7 " let him without sin be the first to throw a stone." As a Christian he will know exactly what that means. No one is without some sort of wrong doing!

I am very very religious. I work in HR too. He shouldn’t be doing this, of course in his spare time he can do whatever he want, but he should only speak about his beliefs AT WORK if he’s asked, and always respecting everyone. That’s what the Bible says really. I face situations where the conversations are not aligned with my beliefs very often, but if I feel uncomfortable I just discreetly redirect the conversation to something else or leave the conversation quietly. If everyone is listening to music I find offensive I just listen to something else in my airphones.

He should be finding solutions instead of pushing his beliefs on everyone else.

I don't agree with work having any music on at all (and I hope they have bought a PRS licence and if not should be reported and pay fines). Leaving that aside, he seems to be a socially awkward young man who does not know UK social norms and perhaps he has some special needs - I think it is more about than about his religious views.

If he really does have such strong views religion gets in the way of his work then he should find work eg in an all male Christian environment perhaps which aligns with his own views.

And Matthew 7:1-3. KJV for dramatic effect.
Judge not, that ye be not judged.
For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

He sounds more an advocate for hate than the love that genuine Christians try to show.

You could try typing out those quotes mentioned above & leaving a printed copy on his desk some time, see what his response is! (Half joking).

Exactly well said. Hopefully OP can now put him in his place.

Not a bad idea at all!

Love that women should wait for marriage before sex. What about men? Are you in the US OP?

i was always under impression you never discuss religion or politics in the work place so to me this is wrong speak to managers etc

Good point about the US as I’ve never come across this with Christian colleagues in the workplace in the UK only Muslim colleagues, one in particular who thought everything, inc client events should be compliant with his religion,

I think people on this thread are misunderstanding what a protected characteristic is.

The UK Equalities Act 2010 provides for people to be able to practice their religion (or be female, or Black, or gay etc) without them receiving discrimination for it.

In this example it protects his freedom to practice his religion and his right to hold and express his views... HOWEVER it also protects others in his workplace from him expressing his views if they infringe on the rights and dignity of others; workplace harmony; or are against the workplace's equality policies. He does not get a free pass under his protected characteristic to offend everybody else.

If he is saying things like "women should stay at home" or that "gay people are sinful", these things clearly meet the EA definition of harassment to women and gay people in his workplace. They are almost certainly against the workplace's policies, which should include an "everybody has a right to work in peace without feeling intimidated or harassed," type of clause.

It doesn’t matter if he intended to offend, only that his conduct had that effect.

TLDR: religion being a protected characteristic is not giving this guy impunity. All it is really doing in terms of protecting him is making sure that he can't be fired because he is a Christian.

It has naff all to do with his religion and everything to do with his misogynistic views.
why do women have to be looking for marriage? Ask him if he’s a virgin and if not I would openly call him out for his sexist views. / being a hypocrite!
Him laughing at peoples views is utterly disgusting IMO!
I think everyone in the office needs to get together and agree that if he asks anyone’s view on anything - the correct answer is ‘that is not appropriate to discuss at work’…. OR ‘It is very unprofessional of you to ask those questions at work!!’… he’ll hopefully get the hint that no one will tolerate his subject of conversations…
Id be unable to be civil to someone who preached and mocked my views…. As others have said it’s harassment
… or reverse discrimination!
Maybe you should all just openly say ‘we worship Satan!…. And laugh at him!

I think you all need to support each other and each file a complaint, managers can’t sweep 10 plus complaints under the carpet!

Senior HR here.

With the utmost respect - you all need to grow a backbone here. Just because it’s religion doesn’t mean it’s touchy or hard to deal with. He’s protected from discrimination- not from being held accountable for a sustained campaign of harassment against his (female) colleagues. You wouldn’t put up with a gay man having pops at you for being straight, a young man having pops at you for being old(er), or a disabled person having a go at you for not being disabled. So don’t accept this behaviour any longer. Go to your line manager, give them the chance to knock it on the head informally, and if that doesn’t work - raise a formal grievance, again to your line manager.

If I was you guys, I’d be having a bloody field day with him fighting fire with fire and regaling all the tales of my youth and 20’s. He’d either backdown, or I’d walk in one Monday to the next team building being a full on exorcism.

Totally agree with others you should all make a complaint. I am religious but I certainly dont behave like this forcing my views on everyone. Christianty teaches you to accept everyone with forgivness and compassion. Not to critise others continually. Good luck OP.

He isn't worrying about being against your beliefs and values, and is openly criticising them. I know it's tricky as I'm sure you have no issues with others practising their own beliefs. I think I'd say, 'I'm strongly opposed to religion, and whilst I respect your beliefs they don't align with mine. We are never going to agree so lets not discuss these things in the workplace. It's a shared space and we will all have to tolerate things and compromise'. If he objects to music etc I'd say I'm sorry but it's commercially available music and it's not inappropriate. It's not ok for him to try to change your behaviour - you're not being prejudiced or discriminatory.