Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

I have a colleague like this but older and female. She tells people they will be going to hell if they don’t change their ways. I find it highly entertaining but it isn’t very professional. Surely people at your work aren’t such doormats that they let him have his way with all this nonsense.

39 other people liking it is not a legitimate aim. Would you say the same to a young woman if it was a predominantly male workplace and there pictures of scantily clad women everywhere that the men clearly objectified?

Listening to the radio isn’t harassment, as your example is.

Yes this is how he seems to be. If someone mentions a night out he’ll say it’s gluttony and a sin. If we mention getting a sweet treat? “Is that you being gluttonous”. It’s exhausting

I’m a Christian and would be very against what he’s doing. He’s coming out with a load of Old Testament crap. Next time he wears 2 different fabrics ask him what Leviticus 19:19 would say about that. Also ask him where in the New Testament does it say that Jesus was against gay marriage, or homosexuality at all. It doesn’t. He’s a bigot. He’s probably breaking several DEi rules in your company about protected characteristics. Call in HR.

The wife of a cousin was like this, and mysteriously, within less than a year, wasn't with that company any more, because "it didn't align with my faith."

Both she and hubby (my cousin) are of the arm-wavy variety of Christianity. He seems to manage to keep it fairly quiet at work, and has a decent job as a solicitor. She couldn't manage it. There were regular facebook posts about attempts to "preach the gospel" to her colleagues, and "sharing the word of the lord." I imagine that went down like a sack of shite.

She then worked at a school for a bit, as a teaching assistant. There were more rambly posts about setting up displays about Christianity and attempts to have a say in the RE curriculum. That job lasted about 2 years...

Anyway... She now works for some youth off-shoot of the bible society, and seems to spend every weekend of her spring and summer attending different god-related festivals.

I guess she's now surrounded by "her type of people", and can stop boring the rest of us.

Being religious is fine (I'm surprised this thread hasn't yet had the usual MN replies of "deluded", "imaginary friend", "indoctrinate"), but trying to impose it on others is not, especially in a workplace.

I like that you got some expert opinion! 😉

You need to take it up with HR. He is being very intolerant, he doesn't have a right to proselytise at work.

It's already uncomfortable. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Why didn't you just say: "We're going to have to agree to disagree about this. I'm not discussing this further." He needs to realize there's a time and place and work isn't the place for his bad faith outbursts.

Lol. I must be quite lucky because my boss is a Christian and goes to Church. I don't need to hide my cross pendant, but I do just in case. This man doesn't stand a chance.

I thought it was 'illegal' to talk of such things in the workplace?

God, you must be a right bunch of shrinking violets if you don’t open your mouths and tell him to keep his opinions to himself. I’m in NI where, as you can imagine, religion is a big thing and I doubt this would ever get as far as HR or management because anyone carrying on like that would be firmly put in their place by colleagues every single time.

Completely inappropriate for the workplace.

I actually do, I follow the American evangelical movement in great depth and with great interest over many years! Here are some screenshots of a the transcript of a conversation with Erika, it featured on both of their podcasts, think it was Series 4 E6 of Midweek Rise Up. They are perfectly entitled to hold these views although I personally disagree with them. Someone espousing similar views in a UK workplace, however, is on shakier ground as it infringes on the Equalities Act.

American evangelicalism strongly advocates a patriarchal system where women can’t lead or teach men, where men are head of the household, women are ‘keepers at home’, should homeschool, are often against many forms of contraception, think that men should be the providers and control the finances. I don’t agree with them, but that doesn’t make their beliefs what they are! If you don’t know this, I suggest you aren’t really listening to him/them!

People's religious beliefs have no place at work. Ive had staff who showed all kinds of discriminatory and unpleasant behaviour because of their beliefs. For example, behaving badly against gay people in the office because they believe homosexuality is a sin. Their belief is irrelevant here, the behaviour is unacceptable. Its the same with your colleague. The unacceptable behaviour must stop, which here is imposing his views on others.

He may start screaming "discrimination" so your/his employer should make sure they are following due process to the letter so they don't fall foul if he tries to go down the constructive/unfair dismissal route. But remember, he is actually the one discriminating against you and your colleagues by harassing you all for your non-belief (which is also a protected characteristic) in his extreme religious views.

This

Not all Jehovah’s Witnesses are awful. We had a much loved cleaner who was a JW and she told me this straight away when we met to discuss the job.
But she told me not to worry as she would never bring it up. And she never did.
However it was very handy when random JWs knocked at the door to be able to say ‘XXX is my friend and she tells me all about her beliefs’. Randoms happily trotted off.

I wouldn't tip toe around him. I'd just be as honest about my opinions as they would be just as valid.

Being forced to listen to music definitely can be. Most people would find certain genres very offensive. There is a lot of music that contains lyrics far worse than the equivalent of a picture of a scantily clad female.

He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage.

I think my response to that would be that my views were none of his fucking business, frankly.

His views are entirely inappropriate in the workplace. He obviously has very regressive views on a women's role in the home and the workplace that he should absolutely keep to himself.

Being religious isn't a 'get out of jain free' card. If another colleague who wasn't religious was spouting racist or homophobic views in the workplace, they would probably be subject to disciplinary procedures and possibly dismissed.

You need to report him to your manager.

When JW’s knock on my door, they’re always absolutely lovely and charming.

However, a sure fire way of them scuttling away, sharpish, is to tell them it’s your birthday and invite them in for some cake.

I totally agree. But I don’t think Sam Fender or Olivia Dean fall into that category!