Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

The religion is irrelevant. I said in my post that it would be equally unacceptable for Muslim or Jewish colleagues to air the most regressive views that the more extreme and fundamentalist adherents of their particular faith tend to hold.

If those views are racist, sexist, homophobic or violent, they have no place in the workplace and should be reported to management. It is completely inappropriate for religious colleagues to be proselytising in the workplace.

Um, no. ANYONE proselytising about their religion in a UK workplace is enacting workplace harassment. We have freedom from religion as well as freedom to practice a religion. If I were in the OP's place and it was an ultra-religious Muslim, Jew, Hindu or indeed Pagan, I hope I'd have the courage to talk to HR about it.

OP's colleague's take on Christianity is hardly mainstream, is it? It goes against what the government tout as 'British Values' and is very much NOT tolerant, respectful or considerate. He is not behaving in a considerate or respectful manner at work when he tells people off for being 'gluttonous' because they had a Twix, or that their preferred music is sinful.

I came to say this too. I'd last about 2 minutes before sacking him, its just bigotry dressed up as Christianity.

Hi, please tell the manager. This employee is the one behaving in a discriminatory way re women and religious beliefs I'm by bullying and it should not be tolerated. I'm in HR and we would be down on this like a ton of bricks.

On a personal level, I've worked somewhere with a large number of extremely religious people. Extremely. Everyone was civil and tolerant of each others beliefs (including my atheist ones). Being religious isn't a get out of jail free card for a) wasting company time proselytising b) bullying

This comment is coming from ignorance. I went to Catholic schools and they effectively put a lot of my schoolmates off Catholicism. I've noticed the same with baby boomers I know. It's rude to make out like we are all brainwashed.

He is a bully, plain and simple. You teach your kids to stand up to bullies in the playground but don’t do the same here?

it’s this be nice behaviour that allows men to invade women’s spaces and look where that’s got us! Remember his protected characteristic of religion does not usurp yours as an atheist. Just say no! Stand up to bullies, especially arrogant young ones.

Well tell him to shut up then. Everyone is letting him walk all over them.

Just take the mickey out of him. “Ooh John, did you say Being Gluttonous? Wouldn’t that be a good name for a cake shop? Let me write it down.”

unacceptable, hr

The best way to combat fiction is with more fiction.

Next time there is thunder go round the office near him asking if anyone know who made Zeus angry.

Or if he talks about "design" rather than evolution I would tell him out right that any god that choice to design child leukemia is a not got I want anything to do with.

I agree. This is similar to vegans demanding that no-one eats animal products at work.

Prediction - he’ll blame it on ‘The Fall’. All Eve’s fault for eating the apple.

I’d be going directly to HR. He’s being provocative and controlling, and also making everyone uncomfortable.

Speak to your colleague directly.

Be friendly, kind and discrete. Say you have very different values and opinions to him, which is why you think it’s best not to discuss them at work as they may offend him.

You’d appreciate if he does the same, as his opinions and values may offend you.

The radio should be what the majority of staff prefer or don’t have it on. That may have to be referred to a manager.

From what you’ve said he’s denigrating people for their beliefs / opinions. Also he sounds misogynistic if he’s going on about girls rather than people when it comes to dates/sex before marriage etc - Unacceptable

Not at work they don't, well not in my experience anyway (unless directly asked questions).

One I worked with never mentioned it (until it was Christmas and she obvs didn't do the secret santa,) and was a fabulous worker. I am still in contact with her now.

Your employer has legal duties of care, e.g. sex discrimination at work.

But best to sort it directly with your colleague if you can.

“Brad, opinions are like arseholes, we’ve all got them but we don’t show them off at work”

Just so you know, Jews don't encourage others to convert to Judaism. It's not part of our remit.

It is possible, but difficult, to convert to Judaism.

This. I went to a High Church C of E school. I don't think that people were violently "put off" but I am sure we didn't all come out indoctrinated.....not sure that any of the folk I was at school with did.
OP take this through your nanager or HR. While this bloke is hanging his behaviour on religion its not actually about that, its about his behaviour at work. Whatever he is ranting about its not acceptable.

Tell me that you didn't go to a religious school without saying you didn't go to a religious school 🙄

My neice's catholic school seems to be putting her and her friends off religion for life!

He sounds insufferable. I couldnt work with him and would be making a complaint.
I don't care what people beleive but only if they don't try and force others to listen or adhere to their rhetoric.
Complaint and get him out.

religious schools produce people exactly like this. Their beliefs become so normalised at home and at school that they have absolutely not idea how weird they come across in society. To them, the entire world is their enemy and the only goal is to convert non believers into thinking the same way they do, not realising they were effectively brainwashed from birth by their family and the school they chose to send them to.

You assume everyone outside religious schools lives in some sort of vacuum where there are no beliefs, norms or cultural expectations. We all have beliefs shaped by the society we grow up in. Things you condemn as weird are normal in other societies or periods of history. Not following a religion does not mean you have no beliefs, it means you have different beliefs and in twenty years time some of those beliefs might well be considered weird.

This is a picture of part of my kindle homepage. If this kind of patriarchal, prosperity gospel, Billy Franklin fostered, women-squashing expression of religion is coming this way and attracting young men (because it appears to offer a backlash to feminism of the last 75 years and put them back on top) then we should be concerned and engaged: