Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

This is a perfect illustration of why, 'Bring your whole self to work' doesn't work.

This link.might be useful. https://www.acas.org.uk/religion-or-belief-discrimination#:~:text=Not%20having%20a%20religion%20or,list%20of%20religions%20or%20beliefs.

😂😂😂

None of us really feel able. Which I know sounds silly but it’s such a tense time at the moment and I can see him as the type who would cry discrimination

Why are you turning the radio over to music that he likes. ? He doesn't have the majority.
Why are you all accepting his beliefs and views that he constantly thrusts upon you ?
You need to involve HR..

Because we don’t really have a choice. He will sit and talk over it about how awful it is until we change it

That is not good. All touchy subjects, not accepting the opinions of others and telling them they are wrong, on very personal matters.
I am all for debate and think debating the toughest subjects is how to get them sorted. But debating, not telling the others they are wrong!
Management needs to deal with it.
Be pasionate about the state of the country or the environment or similar (and even with that you find plenty of people who do not want to talk further from the film they watched yesterday....). Not religion, that should be a personal thing.

I can see him as the type who would cry discrimination

I mean, maybe try to hide the fact that you dislike him!

If none of the 39 of you feel able to say "I find that comment offensive, please don't make it again" - then manager is next, then HR.

Report specific comments / actions that have made you uncomfortable. None of this "oh but I'm not objecting to his religion" guff - his religion is not the problem, the things that he says are the problem.

However I will say that if I were your manager and you were squabbling about the radio, the easy solution would be to take the radio away. Maybe don't dwell on that as your grievance...

“HoppingPavlova · Today 07:08

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc
He doesn’t have any right to express these views in the workplace. I don’t know why you have been a wet lettuce putting up with this to date? This intolerable bullshit should have gone to HR at the first instance”

This with bells on. He doesn’t get to choose how other people live. It’s not discrimination to push back at such sexist, retrograde thinking. In fact, it’s really important that he doesn’t get to dominate and the young women around him see him being shut down. There’s no need to engage in his faux debates. Just make clear you disagree. Speak to your managers and get this sorted out.

This is good indeed LOL

He needs to be reported to HR.

Oh it’s all so predictable. I would develop a strong belief system in something else and develop a glade of ferns and leaves on your desk around your computer and just sit anout with a wand like twig and stare at him muttering under your breath and occasionally waving thw twig. After all, it’s your religion.

Does anyone else at all have any strong beliefs? I mean people of faith, any religion, who quietly get on with things while also attending church, temple, mosque or whatevs in their own private lives.

Or you could read ‘Jesus and John Wayne’, about the ‘militarism’ of aggressive patriarchal Christian nationalism and then just say I’m sorry I must witness to my truth youre just twisting this gentle religion to suit your own sinful ends.

It’s difficult to believe no one has told this insufferable bigot that his opinions haven’t ever been asked for. How can anyone tolerate this?!

I did actually speak up on something I feel quite passionate about and he looked at me like I’d grown three heads. As if he was the only one who could express an opinion!

I cannot believe this went past the first incident.

Go straight to HR and your manager!

I think if your work don't do something about aome of his views eg about women in the workplace, they would be endorsing his discriminatory rhetoric. In the same way that your manager isn't allowed to say that they don't like employing women, you shouldn't have to work in a place where it's accepted that you're constantly hearing that women should be at home rather than work etc

The radio is a bit different as he could claim discrimination by being forced to listen to something that makes him uncomfortable.

I think it's perfectly fine for hr to ask him not to bring up subjects that other people find controversial to discuss (politics, abortion etc) at work, particularly if he is going to tell others that their opinion is wrong, and insist on discussions that other people don't want to have.

I think none of us want to rock the boat. We don’t want to cause any trouble because it could make things so uncomfortable and difficult

Hopefully once his behaviour is no longer tolerated he'll leave.

This!! This is my favourite suggestion 😂

I would love to be able to do this.

It’s not discriminatory (whether religious belief, sex, race, sexual orientation) to want unacceptable behaviour to be addressed.

It’s your colleague’s line manager’s job to address it. Provide factual information about his behaviours and statements with dates, frequency, who was there etc.

But everything is uncomfortable and difficult now so you might as well make an official complaint into the complaint system.
He must be pretty dynamic to be holding 49 of you hostage!

Well no he can have his beliefs but he shouldn't be forcing them on others .

But he's making things difficult and uncomfortable.

That is insufferable! He needs a strong word from managers, failing that HR.

Just laugh at him and don’t engage when he starts spouting his bigotry.

insist on playing nothing but the Star Wars theme, and all start evangelising about how important the Jedi religion is to all of you…?

In all seriousness, this must go to HR and I think it needs to be a group effort. If you make sure absolutely nobody responds to him about anything non-work related - literally everything religious he says is greeted with everyone ignoring it, he’ll soon get bored. Re the music, play whatever you want and tell him he’s welcome to pop his headphones in if it isn’t to his taste?