Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

This isn't a Christian problem, this is a him problem.
I got to church, know plenty of other denominations, including Evangelicals - I've even been on a couple of Evangelical weekends with a friend to see if I felt I wanted to move closer to that side of Christianity (turns out I don't) - used to attend a very enthusiastic American church when I lived abroad (lots of impromptu yelling of "Praise the Lord!" and "A-men!" during the service which, as I'm a naturally deeply inhibited Brit as the good Lord intended*, made my toes curl)...
...and I've never come across anything like this. This isn't how evangelising works.
The "you're being gluttons" thing sounds particularly like made up bollocks.
He's someone who wants to have power over people and to feel self-inportant and thinks he's safe using his religion to do so - not very Christian at all.
*Joke BTW.

Why cant you ask him ? He's the one spouting this misogynistic rubbish in the work place . Everyone is so worried about speaking out these days .

No ! Why would they pander to his nonsense?

Easy.

Take up Satanism. Counter everything he says with Satan’s perspective. Go on and on about it and never let it drop. End every exchange with him with a cry of ‘Hail Satan!’ to which you colleagues respond ‘And all his evil deeds.’

The nuisance will soon cease.

This guy sounds like one of those opinionated, women-hating, Andrew Tate-types who is using religion to hide his misogynistic feelings and controlling the narrative.

Exactly this.

Absolutely, sounds like one of those men who take pleasure in goading people into endless arguments and “debates” as well.

I used to come across a lot of staunch (atheist) males like that in my younger days actually. Whereas my atheist ex boyfriend was nothing like that because he’s not a dick.

Colleague is not being unreasonable not to want to listen to music that makes him uncomfortable, for whatever reason. I don't like having music on at all when I'm working, unless it's a particularly mindless routine task. He should just say he prefers a quiet office though, not make it all about religion.

He's being completely unreasonable about the rest of it though. Starting conversations in which he elicits others' views on controversial topics and then criticises them for being out of line with (his interpretation of) the bible? That's utterly inappropriate, and you should speak to him, his line manager and then HR, depending on how far you have to go to make him stop.

Colleague is not being unreasonable not to want to listen to music that makes him uncomfortable, for whatever reason
Including the (purported) personal lives of the artists? That’s not reasonable.

His reasons are shitty and he should keep them to himself. It's enough for him to say he'd prefer not to have music on. Nobody should have music imposed on them when working in an office though.

I live in a part of the world where any of my colleagues would just say to him, “bloody hell Dave, have a day off will you?!”

Or alternatively a quiet word with your/his Manager about how ridiculous, offensive and distracting this is.

I’ve worked for the Church of England and the only time I came across someone with these extreme beliefs I reported him to the safeguarding team for spiritual abuse (he was a young preacher). He is entitled to archaic and misogynistic views, but you shouldn’t be made to feel like this.

Call me old-fashioned, but sex, religion and politics should be kept out of the workplace.

Here you go @ThatLadyLady - try this: "Opinions are like arseholes. Everybody has one, but I don't want to have to listen to yours while I'm at work".

I agree, I'd go mad!.

I worked in a large open plan office for thjs creative agency where sometimes they’d have two different songs playing at different ends of the office.

It was a nightmare. I longed for the quiet too.

This is nuts. If he worked in my office plenty of people would just ask him to wind his neck in keep his opinions to himself.

I'm struggling to believe that not one person has asked him to do so.

It isn't any kind of "ism" to ask him to keep controversial opinions to himself.

Have you heard anything back?

What's the update, OP?