Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

Definitely not. I love music. But I do object to bring forced to listen to music I don't Iike or don't want. If I want to listen to music, I'll buy a concert ticket, use headphones or play it at home. I don't subject others to my choices.

I don't subject people to my music choices either, listen to music on headphones if I'm public etc. but if a business has music playing in the background I wouldn't necessarily listen to myself I wouldn't call it offensive personally

He’s got every right to his beliefs, and if the music is against that, go classical, or go headphones. But his religious beliefs/discussions are clearly not appreciated and therefore should be left completely out of the office in order to keep a respectful environment. Just like he has a right to his beliefs, so do you. And no one should have to feel uncomfortable.
Respect works both ways.

“For Christ’s sake Dave, will you shut the fuck up! We’re not interested- brew anyone?”

How can you work in an office full of such spineless passives? This would do my head in. He’s walking all over everyone’s feelings and loving it - what a dick 🙄

Blasphemy and swearing in one sentence from a woman of all people 😂 his mind would implode

He sounds insufferable. Not appropriate for the workplace at all.

Aside from the religious element he's completely out of line to bring up such personal topics as abortion. It's potentially upsetting and a distraction for people trying to work. He may have a case for lyricless music though.

Or holy self

It's not evangelical. Evangelical would be trying to convince eeryone else that Jesus loves them and they should dcommit their lives.

He sounds conservative and judgementa, and I wouldn't be putting up with any of this. Speaking to management is good and the right thing. But I'd have been rolling my eyes and being far more direct long before, "haha Jack, you can't tell me what to do with my body but I hope you find a woman wh is appropriately pure for you" etc,

Good for you - he sounds very irritating, surprised no one has told him to fuck off.

We had a similar (but not quite as vocal) experience with a colleague - he has toned it down now thankfully. You don’t go to work to feel judged. I bet no one is telling him to chill out and go shagging around to enjoy himself!

I would be parked in front of HR filing a formal complaint.

You really do need to speak to your manager. It's not sufficient that they "don't have time" for this, it's part of their job!

I'd go for the protected characteristics under the Equality Act angle. He is entitled to not be discriminated against due to his recognised religion (Christianity), but in controlling everything form the music to conversation and whether or not somebody eats a god damn snack in the workplace is causing the workplace to be hostile to anybody whose religious views do not agree with his (including Atheists, because atheism also counts as a protected characteristic). He can still have his rights under the EA met without insisting that everybody else adheres to his rules and therefore loses theirs.

Do totally get this POV, but the rest of the office is all happy with it and it’s not overwhelming. Just quiet background noise

Alot of what you said also just sounds really misogynistic and not much to do with being a christian...very focused on what women should or shouldn't be doing. He needs to keep his mouth shut and his views to himself. Dont be afraid to call him up on his BS.

I once heard an appalling homophobic rant at work from a "Christian". As the mother of a Gay DC I felt I couldn't let that lie and complained to HR.
HR's perspective was that he is entitled to his beliefs and can share these. I was utterly horrified at that. A person's beliefs should not trump another's lived reality.
To me, it's hate speech and religions are not supposed to be about hate.

I quite agree and wish more firms would enforce a 'no proselytising' rule at work.

I worked for the NHS and once witnessed a nurse evangelising to an Israeli doctor who was in our department for six months, lovely chap and great fun. They were both in my office at the time and she was going on about how it was "...all in the Bible, read Revelation....", without any regard to, or sensitivity towards, his Jewish faith. He was looking at her quite open mouthed with incredulity.
I intervened, told her it was not the time nor (her) place and that we were not allowed to evangelise at work. However we were definitely not allowed to, so I would have had HR backing had it been necessary. It didn't happen again to my knowledge.

He needs to STFU or leave, nobody comes to work to listen to that. I once had a manager who was a very strict Muslim and although he didn't comment anything to me, he was very harsh on other Muslim colleagues and would pull them up on their clothing, whether they listened to music, lifestyle stuff where they weren't meeting 'standards' etc. It's uncalled for and it needs to be shut down.

'He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage.'

Literally your only response should be 'its not appropriate to discuss those topics in the workplace'

Music - we play radio station, stops arguments

I'm glad you reported him and hope your manager manages this situation.

On the subject of the radio - there’s literally 40 of us. 39 of us are all happy with the songs etc that are played, it seems a shame we’d have to turn it off because he feels entitled to dictate to the rest of us -you could always be kind and get him some special ear-plugs for the office. (Are there any with Christian symbols on the box?)

I think this is a good illustration of why you should go to your manager sooner rather than later. Resentment has built up to the point where you are getting snappy and rude and unprofessional, which will weaken your case.
I'd see your manager about this asap while you still hold the moral high ground :)

It's a shame people didn't start complaining about him to HR before he finished his probation ... hope others learn from that.

I would actually not mention the music issue. We've just been reminded that our workplace doesn't have a PRS license, so we can't play the radio in the offices. Keep quiet about the music, and you might keep the radio.

HOWEVER, your colleagues are clearly much nicer people than anyone in my office. We would have told him about himself in 7 seconds flat if he'd tried that nonsense with us! Speak to your line manager, because he's creating a hostile working environment, and it needs to be dealt with before it escalates.

He needs to be reminded that gender and sexuality are protected characteristics and are therefore protected by the same laws that allow his “freedom of expression” on religious grounds. Some people seem to think that freedom of speech means the right to spout whatever bigoted bullshit you believe with no fear of repercussions. Religious bigots are the absolute worst because they are so smug and self-righteous.

You can take it to management/HR explain to the them his behaviour is crossing boundaries and causing unrest in your working environment.
Set a boundary yourselves to said colleague and tell him you don't wish to discuss religion or listen to his views in the workplace.
Be direct about harassment.