Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

Why is it harassment, asking someone to explain why they are happily saying these things in a work setting . I still say challenge him .

Yes, he sounds difficult, but what gets me is that there is music in the office. I'd go mad. Freedom to not have to listen to music.

I hate this. Your 'beliefs' are just as valid as his, but do you push them onto him? No, because you'd probably be in trouble for it. Makes my blood boil. We can't possibly offend the believers.

I couldn’t cope with that OP and would have told him so by now. As for the playlist, I’d be putting on anything from Shaggy to Sabbath to Canibal Corpse on if he persists in his disapproval.😂

I have a friend who's male child is transitioning to female, another friend whio is very religious disputes his right to do this, to change his name and to live as female, fortunately she doesn't express this to his mother. I told her the law supports his wishes and he needs to be respected for his name, pronoun choices etc, she immediately said ' no, no, never mind the law, only God can say who you are and what you are called' - what I wanted to say was far from holy 🙄 instead I kept quiet and ignored it, however I wouldn't be putting up with this in a workplace.

A christening isn't God telling you what you're to be called; it's your parents telling God. (Who I don't believe in, anyway)

It’s absolutely not ok for your colleague to dominate all his colleagues and affect the communal atmosphere in the office. If he can’t cope with people expressing views then he shouldn’t ask ; if he doesn’t like communal decisions on music he can use earphones. It’s irrelevant his you feel about his religion - he is being an obnoxious mood hoover and abusing his colleagues. Evangelism has no place in the workplace ! ( and I say that as a Christian).

If you want Britain to end up like the USA- an evolving white, male, theocracy- then by all means don't upset the boy.
You have to push back. These views are not valid or benign.

If nothing else works get him to openly proclaim his views on transwomen. That should get him instantly sacked.

It does make you think in this day and age religion should not be a protected characteristic. Religion is a choice other protected characteristics aren’t. If I had a philosophical belief that all puppies should be slaughtered I couldn’t go round posting pictures of puppies being slaughtered by the water fountain.

i shouldn’t know what my colleagues religion is. Religion is divisive. No sign of an individuals religion should be shown at work, at school or ideally any public place other than places of worship. Ban people knocking on your door, ban those people standing in the middle of shopping streets blaring out music trying to give versions of their self appointed one true book to people just trying to go about their daily business.

I don’t give a shit whether you worship God, Allah Zeus Lucifer, they’re all the same projections of human need..but keep it to yourself

Mentioning religion at work should be a disciplinary offence

I'd be telling him to fuck right off. He has zero right to force his beliefs on others, and is behaving in a wholly unprofessional way by doing this.

I have reread the OP’s posts. I think this is two issues. The first is that he seems to be an evangelical Christian - this is fine but it needs to stay out of the workplace.

The second is that he is young - I wonder if he hasn’t yet learned that it isn’t okay to say what you think to just anyone (or, at least, without facing some uncomfortable consequences). Young people have, in many ways, been let down - they are encouraged by their peers to give their thoughts in public and on social media with no thought to how this may be perceived by people who don’t share their viewpoint.

As I get older, I value my privacy more and more. I have lots of political / religious views that others may find quite strange. But that is okay, because they are no one’s business.

It would be a kindness for his manager to tell him that he needs to wind his neck in and that everyone religious views are private.

He needs to leave your workplace ASAP

The OP said that he’s just passed his probation.

This is a sad and upsetting post to read OP. I am a Christian and your colleagues’s behaviour is awful. Aggressively foisting their views onto others, telling people they’re wrong and shutting them down when they disagree is just horrendous and a terrible misrepresentation of Christ and the practice of faith (which centres on love, for people of any faith and none). I am really sorry you and your colleagues have been subjected to this 😢 Please believe this is not like the practising Christians I know and have known over a lifetime. It makes me think about all the people in modern times and throughout history who have done terrible things ‘in the name of God’ basically a blanket excuse for doing whatever they wanted, unthinkable evil, hateful and destructive things. Or in this case plain rude and condescending. As if that is ok and how we should behave! It’s just wrong and I am so sorry and I hope your work can step in and have a word asap that this is not appropriate in (and, imo, also out) of the workplace.

An employer has a duty to provide a comfortable and non discriminationary environment at a work place for their staff.

I had to handle a situation at work. We had three employees who were very outspoken evangelical Christians and a couple of staunch atheist colleagues who enjoyed winding them up. I basically vetoed any religious talk in the office. Fine to have beliefs, not fine to go on about them at work, and that went for the atheists too. If they wanted to continue their discussion they could do it outside work time.

I'm an atheist myself but the situation was causing a real atmosphere and others were uncomfortable. One of the Christians was later let go for pushing his beliefs on our customers.

I also find this surprising It does make you think in this day and age religion should not be a protected characteristic

No it makes me think a bunch of 40 adult women in a professional environment should be able to find just one of them to tell their newer, younger colleague to stfu on inappropriate workplace questions.

Bear in mind not one single colleague has actually told this lad his questions and evangelising is not appropriate and his questions are not welcome.

And the MN response? Run to your male manager to sort it out which will be tricky as the manager has apparently transitioned to female half way through the thread.

Organisations often have more than one manager in them, @C8H10N4O2- the second one was ‘the manager who was in today’.

It does make you think in this day and age religion should not be a protected characteristic

I couldn't agree more, @MyHeartyCoralSnail; as you rightly say religion is a choice, and while I've every respect for those I've never been clear on why they should be protected

Obviously people can be - and sadly sometimes are - targeted because of their religion, but there are perfectly good laws which can be used to deal with this (harassment, threatening behaviour, etc.) without the need to bring the religion itself into it

He sounds a brainwashed bore.

But the comments were about “my” manager talked about in the singular.

In either case, 40 adult women between them should be able to find one to tell the boy “not appropriate”. Its all quite incredible.

He’s not allowed to share these bigoted/sexist/fundamentalist/homophobic views in the workplace. They need to give him formal warnings to shut the fuck up.

I wish I worked there, I’d have ripped him a new arsehole as I’m a Christian and a FEMALE local preacher in the Methodist church. That would literally blow his mind as he’s aggressively anti women preachers.

Hed be fucked on the bible too as all the woman in Jesus ‘s entourage were all preachers.

The most assertive person I know is my young female daughter.
Idea that young females are all wistful passive wallflowers... er, no. That's a myth.