Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

Your colleague is making people feel uncomfortable.

Talk to your managers. He needs to be.more professional at work.

And if he carries on, give him a clear message that his opinions are unwelcome.

You need to talk to your manager about it. It is harassment.

I feel bad in some ways because obviously I worry it comes off like I’m against his religion (which I am personally, but would never express that to him). It’s just got to the point where it’s very uncomfortable and he seems to believe he’s above everyone w

Completely inappropriate in a workplace. I would speak to HR.

Agree with the above, this needs to be dealt with officially. It’s fine to have opinions and personal beliefs, but to express that women should be looking for marriage and staying at home - in a work place - is not acceptable.

All sounds very like American evangelism? Part of which is ‘witnessing’ to people.

I agree it sounds very Jehovahs Witness to me. Either way his behaviour is completely inappropriate in the workplace.

His behaviour isn’t acceptable. I’d write down some recent examples and raise them with his manager and ask them to address it, and notify yours that you have raised it.

I couldn't work with him and I would really struggle listening to his views. I would have to look for employment elsewhere if his unprofessional and degrading attitude (towards women) wasn't dealt with quickly.

The examples in your OP should do the trick!

Was he a Charlie Kirk fan by any chance?

It’s an incredibly patriarchal expression of religion (they - fundamentalist expressions of religions - more or less are ALL very patriarchal though aren’t they, so convenient for men - ‘here’s why I should be in charge and you should all submit to me’ goodness what IS it that attracts you to this belief system that puts you right on top ‘because God says so’)

God it’s just aswell I don’t work there because I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut if he started.

Its completely unprofessional and he needs to keep his views to himself in the workplace.

He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable

I would be alerting my manager and then going directly to HR. Fuck that shit. I would expect any one of my direct reports to do the same.

Asking people's opinions when you aren't actually curious, just to manufacture an opportunity to tell people what you believe is incredibly tedious behaviour!

Next time he does that I'd call him out on it and say something like 'are you actually interested in my opinion John? Or are you just looking for an opportunity to get on yoir soap box again?' or 'You are welcome to your personal beliefs but you need to be aware that your judgemental tone and the frequency with which you bring this up, could be making other people uncomfortable and it doesn't fit with the company values of inclusionand diversity/ seem very Christian '

he is too outspoken and no-one wants religious views forced upon them. I’d have a word with his LM and tell them he is making you uncomfortable. Just keep the radio off if he has an issue - save any drama.

Funnily enough he seemed to be! Obviously some of his opinions on that were normal, being that he shouldn’t be killed for his opinions. Some were a lot worse though, he was “just a good Christian guy spreading the message” and “his beliefs were normal”

Honestly, I find his attitude appalling and it offends me as a Christian. My faith is important to me, but the Bible is a complex (and very old) document which has gone through several translation layers so a nuanced interpretation is essential. Literal, fundamentalist and puritanic takes on it reduce its message to the depth of a picture book. It's nonsense. On a human level, bullying others into the faith is not what's actually preached in there- at least not in the New Testament. The man's a toxic idiot. People like him should be told in no uncertain terms what others feel about him and his views. He makes others uncomfortable. Religion should have no place in public life and attitudes like these in the office are simply antisocial.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc

He doesn’t have any right to express these views in the workplace. I don’t know why you have been a wet lettuce putting up with this to date? This intolerable bullshit should have gone to HR at the first instance.

As for the radio, that’s a bit different as he does have the right to express that the songs make him uncomfortable. Just as you would have the right to do likewise if he put his Christian playlist on. Do, on that front, the only real solution is silence going forward🫤.

Why on earth should you feel bad? He's making everyone uncomfortable. I would not be turning off any music either.

He is literally harassing people.

Proselytizing at work is unacceptable and management should have pointed this out to him by now.

I highly doubt this is a Jehovah’s Witness - they wouldn’t listen to worship music and their religion encourages their followers to work hard in the workplace, not to cause divisions and that there is a time and a place to share their beliefs - i.e. not when they’re being paid to work and only if directly asked about a belief. Work is for work.
This person does sound evangelical - has the OP not asked them their religion? Or has the guy not mentioned it?
Since he seems to be pushing his beliefs/opinions I find it hard to belief he hasn’t mention what his religion is 🤔

I know he’s a Christian but to be honest I tune out the rest of it because I’m just not interested. He could be an evangelical or anything else, I disagree with his religion so that’s that in my book. It’s all the same really

Re the radio - there’s literally 40 of us. 39 of us are all happy with the songs etc that are played, it seems a shame we’d have to turn it off because he feels entitled to dictate to the rest of us

Has anyone actually said to him ‘look Fred, I’m really glad that you have a belief system which is important to you and works for you but it’s not OK for you to be pushing that onto the rest of us, particularly in a workplace. Please rein it in’

Then if he continues, you go to manager

Put up a sign saying:

Please do not bring your whole self to work.