Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

I've met a few blokes (funny how it's always men!) over the years who've behaved in a similar way to your colleague. As an atheist I have zero interest in religion.10 years ago I would have politely listened to their views,but now I really cannot be bothered with their shite. If I get someone nowadays who starts spouting their religion at me (practically always Christians or Jehovah's Witnesses for some reason) I just say 'Sorry,I'm not a believer so you're wasting your time trying trying to convert me' and change the subject.

You are right to want this navigated properly to avoid accusations of discrimination. Nevertheless it absolutely needs to be addressed.

He is the one who needs to ‘live and let live’. He is the one imposing his beliefs on everyone else.

Religion has no place at work or school … unless you’re a church - get HR on board

His argument on music will fail too - it can be objectively justified as a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim

What is the legitimate aim that requires pop music to be played?

He's entitled to his beliefs but he doesn't get to wang on about them making other people uncomfortable and/or upset.
Totally inappropriate, especially in a workplace.
Oh and also what @GlastoNinja just said

If he was forcing his beliefs on me at work then no!

Hope you update, OP. Esp. after your manager speaks to the religious colleague.

It sounds to me like he's trying to strike up conversation, not convert anyone. I think with the way the OP is written, he's probably going to be let go anyway. I'd suggest the company treads carefully with this, though, because he might be able to claim unfair dismissal on religious grounds.

My manager is here 99% of the time but is simply too busy for stuff like this, unless it’s bought to his attention

It may be relevant that the OP mentions the guy likes that he’s got so many young female colleagues.

Was he trying to convert you? Jehovah's Witnesses actively proselytise every chance they get . What denomination is he?

It might be worth talking to him and explaining that other people have protected characteristics that might be infringed upon if he keeps rabbitting on. If you have an HR department they would talk to you about this and maybe have a word with him. The flip side is, his opinions are protected too, but there might be a way of getting him to calm down.

‘Legitimate’ in that the other 39 colleagues like it.
He’s being a bully, and is being enabled because he’s using his religious beliefs to clonk everyone over the head with it.

If he simply said: turn the music off, i don’t like it. His colleagues would rightly say: tough.

But because his objections are because of his beliefs, his colleagues have to fall over themselves to accommodate him.

Well, fuck that.

This nails it. I’d point out to him that it’s very unchristian of him to be deliberately trying to shame people, judge not lest ye be judged, let he who is without sin cast the first stone etc. I’m Christian but this behaviour in the name of Christianity would infuriate me. It’s generally not religions that cause trouble, it’s people (usually men) twisting the scripture to justify their own agenda that causes trouble.

Oh come off it. His bullying everyone else into his choice of music or nothing isn’t remotely ‘trying to strike up a conversation’. His laughing and telling people they’re wrong if they disagree with him on various issues such as abortion, gay marriage and evolution aren’t conversational.

I don’t know which denomination, I’ve not really got an interest in that side. I just know he’s very aggressively Christian!

I am a devout Christian. One of my best friends is also my vicar.
We both think this guy is insane and should be keeping his bigoted opinions private.

you are far more restrained than me! I'd have clocked him one by now with that kind of mysoginistic fuckwittery being spouted!
Report to HR 100% - views like that have no bussiness in the workplace

Religion may be a touchy area, but remind your boss that his behaviour is is making it a very toxic environment for those with other protected characteristics - sexist, homophobic and against any other religious belief but his own. He is bullying in the workplace, his manager needs to deal with this pronto and firmly remind him that he is not the arbiter of morals and social norms. I really feel for the young female members of staff in your place or any gay people, watching this going on and no one standing up for them. Terrifying.

Ask his views on slavery. That should be interesting. Get him to defend it then report him. Or get him to renounce his religion then give him an in work existential crisis. Or just make him cry when you present the paradox to him.

I had a colleague like this - again a young man. NI evangelism. We worked together on a project. He was a nice, civil young guy on one level, and yet when he started to talk religion he came out with utterly deranged things, such as that all Catholics, Methodists, Anglicans etc were going straight to hell, and that the Holocaust was foretold in the Bible as a 'punishment' for crucifying Jesus. I didn't report him but he was in breach of quite a lot of rules and laws (NI has laws around fair employment and ensuring neutral working environments). Doesn't your HR policy call for anything similar? He needs to leave his cranky beliefs at the door. Too much offensive gibberish passes under the guise of 'religious conviction' which is seen as somehow inviolable and uncontestable.

My colleague is jehovahs witness and the only time you'd know about it is if you asked him what he did for his birthday, there's no way on earth he'd behave like this

I got friendly last year with a few of these 'evangelical types' and they were horrendous. I walked away with the view that it was brainwashing. Everything they did and said was guided by their faith. Scary.

Maintaining staff morale.