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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell pregnant DD we won’t cancel the theatre?

1000 replies

Yournw · 07/10/2025 23:14

DD is unfortunately pregnant with her first baby, without a partner. She was in a relationship and mid way through he left her. It’s been awful and we’ve tried our best to be supportive. She was living with her partner but has since moved back to her own home which is in the same town where we live.

She is due to have a c section in 9 days. The due date is a week later so she’s around 36 weeks now.

She is extremely anxious about going into labour and being alone in the house with nobody to take her to hospital. We have obviously said we will do this if that should happen and she can call us.

However..we are supposed to be going to the theatre this Saturday which is around an hour drive away. DD is not happy about this and has asked us not to go so that we are nearby should anything happen. DH is adamant we should go to the theatre and not miss the show. He is strongly of the opinion that she’s in her thirties and can look after herself and if she was to go into labour then the first hour or so isn’t going to make much difference.

DD is now distraught and I feel stuck in the middle. What would you do?!

OP posts:
BundleBoogie · 07/10/2025 23:25

If dd is having yo have a c section, presumably there is some medical complication involved that could need urgent attention?

My first labour was late but quick, once we’d persuaded the midwife to come out she had a minor panic and made us leave for hospital immediately m.

If you are all she’s got, I’d cancel - dh can go if he likes.

MousseMousse · 07/10/2025 23:26

What would I do?
I sack off the theatre & be there to support my daughter during this most vulnerable time of her life. If my husband still wanted to go, that would be his decision.

But I tell you this, if you choose the theatre over being there to support & reassure your daughter when she's so low and vulnerable, she will never forget it - and may never forgive you.

GameWheelsAlarm · 07/10/2025 23:27

She's not going to go into labour on that Saturday. First babies are almost always late and the reason why c-sections are scheduled for a week before the due date is to minimise the risk that the woman wanting the c-section will go into labour before it happens. In the very unlikely event that she gets any contractions that evening they will almost certainly be braxton-hicks and will subside after an hour or two by which time you will be back from the theatre.

If she's anxious anyway, employ a babysitter to sit with her.

Wherethewildthingsfart · 07/10/2025 23:28

I read the unfortunately pregnant as it’s unfortunate as her partner left her?

Personally I couldn’t have gone op. It’s not so much that she might go into labour (phones on, leave quickly) but that she’s scared and alone.

RainySundayAfternoon · 07/10/2025 23:28

Dazzlemered · 07/10/2025 23:18

Also I hope she never sees this post.

Unfortunately pregnant, what a horrible thing to say!

I’m afraid I agree with this.

Personally I would move heaven and earth to be there if my pregnant daughter needed me and gladly.

Also, ‘Unfortunately’.
I’m sure you didn’t set out to seem so judgemental of your daughter but that is all anyone reading will see.

passthebiscuittins · 07/10/2025 23:30

Dazzlemered · 07/10/2025 23:18

Also I hope she never sees this post.

Unfortunately pregnant, what a horrible thing to say!

I came here to post the same. How mean.

passthebiscuittins · 07/10/2025 23:32

MousseMousse · 07/10/2025 23:26

What would I do?
I sack off the theatre & be there to support my daughter during this most vulnerable time of her life. If my husband still wanted to go, that would be his decision.

But I tell you this, if you choose the theatre over being there to support & reassure your daughter when she's so low and vulnerable, she will never forget it - and may never forgive you.

Edited

This.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 07/10/2025 23:32

Even if she had a partner, he wouldn't be at her side 24/7 on the off chance that she goes into labour before her due date. I get she feels vulnerable but I think she is being very unreasonable demanding her family don't go away a distance of one hour. If a C section is scheduled before due date there is usually a reason for it and I would think it's extremely unlikely she will have natural labour, I think that's the whole point of the early section, to pick a date where labour is unlikely. I think you should go but check the phone regularly and reassure her she will be OK.

Original poster
Yournw · 07/10/2025 23:33

I meant unfortunately he has left her

OP posts:
UnctuousUnicorns · 07/10/2025 23:34

My first baby was born at 36+2. You don't know how it's going to go.

Dazzlemered · 07/10/2025 23:36

Yournw · 07/10/2025 23:33

I meant unfortunately he has left her

Maybe you did but your whole post come across just not very nice.

I really hope your daughter has someone to support her when the baby comes.

Tubestrike · 07/10/2025 23:36

Is there another reason she doesn't want you to go to the theatre? Do you both work, if so then you won't be on hand during the day , does she cope if you are at work?

Hellogoodbyehowdoyoudo · 07/10/2025 23:36

Thank fuck you're not my mum.

momager1 · 07/10/2025 23:36

dear god. please. seriously? my daughter (won't have any more children, already has 2 and her husband had snip after) WOULD BE my absolute priority.. screw the tickets. sorry...edited to take out the nasty thing i posted.. I have now seen that unfortunately meant..that he has left her..not that you were saying the pregnancy. my appologies. I still say screw the tickets and be with your daughter

IPM · 07/10/2025 23:37

Yournw · 07/10/2025 23:33

I meant unfortunately he has left her

I think it's really very clear that's what you meant.

No idea why some people are pretending it's not.

ExtraOnions · 07/10/2025 23:39

Unless I’d booked tickets to see the Ghost of William Shakespeare reciting the soliloquy from Hamlet, using his own skull … I would reschedule my trip. Regardless of age, I would be with my daugher if she was sad, lonely and vulnerable.

LovelyBitOfSquirrrel · 07/10/2025 23:39

Your daughter needs you, you cancel.

RampantIvy · 07/10/2025 23:39

Some of the over reactions on here are ridiculous. I read that the DD was unfortunately pregnant because the baby's father has dumped her, not that it was unfortunate that she was pregnant.

Stormyday34 · 07/10/2025 23:40

I’d cancel the theatre and make sure I was nearby to support my daughter in the last couple of weeks pre section. Wouldn’t enter my head not to in the circumstances you’ve described.

MajesticWhine · 07/10/2025 23:40

She does sound very anxious. I think disproportionately so. It’s probably a bit late in the day for her to get some help with the anxiety. It is reasonable to go to the theatre and it’s really not that far away if something happens. I assume she has no friend that could step in?

Dery · 07/10/2025 23:42

“ExtraOnions · Today 23:39

Unless I’d booked tickets to see the Ghost of William Shakespeare reciting the soliloquy from Hamlet, using his own skull … I would reschedule my trip. Regardless of age, I would be with my daugher if she was sad, lonely and vulnerable.”

This with bells on. Your DD is so vulnerable at the moment. She’s been left while pregnant and now her parents - especially her father - are prioritising a trip to the theatre over her feelings of anxiety and heartbreak. How is this even a question? Why is her father so uncaring?

AlinaRawlings · 07/10/2025 23:42

Yournw · 07/10/2025 23:24

Yes we’ve said we’ll check our phones and leave if needed. She is saying she will have to book a hotel near the hospital for that night if we don’t cancel.

She’s being absolutely ridiculous! She sounds terrified though so I would try to calm her by telling her she’s very unlikely to drop her first baby at 36 weeks within an hour of labour starting. She’s about to be a mother, she needs to suck it up and stop being a spoilt brat.

Bumcake · 07/10/2025 23:43

Tubestrike · 07/10/2025 23:36

Is there another reason she doesn't want you to go to the theatre? Do you both work, if so then you won't be on hand during the day , does she cope if you are at work?

Presumably they don’t work an hour away.

PollyBell · 07/10/2025 23:43

Life does not stop when someone is pregnant, i presume she ia living with you and did not thinl of the impact on you having to house her an now a child when she got herself pregnant she cant own your decisions

And yes I am being harsh but grandparents just seem to be there for however it works for the way they are told to be, they seem not to exist as people themselves on here, they seem to need permission to have a life

momager1 · 07/10/2025 23:44

AlinaRawlings · 07/10/2025 23:42

She’s being absolutely ridiculous! She sounds terrified though so I would try to calm her by telling her she’s very unlikely to drop her first baby at 36 weeks within an hour of labour starting. She’s about to be a mother, she needs to suck it up and stop being a spoilt brat.

Show quote history

nasty. she is not being a spoiled "brat" .. she is a young woman afraid and alone. How about building women up instead of dragging them down ????

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