Murder

[Frankblackwife]

Do you think you could get away with it?

I would get away with it. I live very rurally I know some very deep pits and murky pools of water and I'm a floral dress wearing benign looking school volunteer and church cleaner they would never suspect me!
But if you want to get away with a random murder it has to be a complete stranger tbf.

I watch so many true crime documentaries, listen to so many podcasts and read so many thrillers that I like to think I could, but I’m also lazy and forgetful so in reality I probably wouldn’t be able to!

It depends on who I chose to murder.

Frozen leg of lamb, like in the Roald Dahl short story they did on Tales of the Unexpected. In reality though, I’d only want to kill someone, truly, if they’d hurt my child, and then I wouldn’t particularly care if I was caught.

I often think of that case of the German mother who pre-meditatedly killed the man who molested her daughter in the courtroom where he was being tried for the crime. I think if I murdered someone it would be like that.

I was reading a brilliant book, by an ex coroner/pathologist/can't remember the name, but it was what Quincy used to do!

He was saying that 50 years ago, the best way would have been an injection of insulin, somewhere into the toes. Very fine pinprick, nothing foreign in the blood, and blood sugar levels were not routinely checked in a post mortem.

They are now, though.

To be fair, I could just let my chemistry students do what they want in practicals. It wouldn't take long...

The tips I've picked up from TV/books

• regularly leave your phone at home, so gaps in tracking look normal
• but make sure a home computer is active in that time
• make it random
• don't drive
• stay away from houses, shops etc. Pick roads with long driveways. (This is more from Police investigating a local crime... yes lots of us had cameras.. but none actually caught anything on the road as we were all too far back)
• keep it simple.
• do it in winter so gloves etc don't look put of place
• day before bin day so all evidence is long gone.

How can you know that? When it’s a domestic murder husbands and wives are caught easily. But when it’s not even regarded as murder as I said before accident or natural causes. There is no way of knowing how many go unpunished.

@TheNightingalesStarling day before bin day is next level murder planning.
I’ll never sleep well on Tuesday nights ever again!

A brief google suggests around 600 murders per year in the UK with approximately 60 being unsolved. So, someone’s getting away with it.

Or by car, stick around, act distraut, be done for dangerous driving.

Around 90% solved rate in the UK.

the pushing down the stairs is defo best way to do it

They’re just the ones we know about.

Good tips @TheNightingalesStarling!
Also from watching police programmes like 24 hours in custody etc most murders and crimes in general aren't solved they either confess or are grassed up by others. So if you stayed silent through questioning you'd be clear I think 🤔

Think I might need to get a new Mumsnet account before any crimes now I've given away my secrets!😅

Omg no. I struggle to keep a cool Christmas present a secret… there’s no way I’d be able to keep killing someone under my hat! 🤣

You'd have a better chance if they were a complete stranger but then why would you want to do it. With DNA, cctv and mobile phones tracking you I'd take up another hobby Op

I genuinely cannot imagine killing someone. It would never ever be worth it. I’d never get over it so no murders for me to worry about getting away with. Even if I killed somebody in clear self defence I would feel some responsibility towards them.

Who do you have in mind OP?

I was coming on to say that.

this country has such a love affair with driving, I'm sure you could cop for a dangerous driving ban or driving without due care and attention... escape a murder charge easily... especially as a little old lady with worsening eyesight, getting confused, "sorry officer I pressed the accelerator instead of the brake".

Not with the amount of hairs I shed

That's not great odds though. I'd want a lower than 90% chance of getting caught!

Yes - you have to go no comment, and it has to be a proper "no comment" to everything, no matter how sorely you are tempted to answer some of the questions

Researching methods would be tricky. You can't have it on your Google history or have mentioned it on an anonymous forum!

Don't give them your name, Pike! 😆

I’m not convinced. Several people I know have fallen down the stairs recently (I wasn’t coincidentally there at the time, but it’s been a bit of an epidemic!) and just broken lots of bones. If you used this method and failed you’d have a very disgruntled would-be corpse to contend with.

I think maybe on a hike remotely, ply with booze/drugs, knock off a high point and let wild animals do your dirty work would be your best bet.

No!!! I’m far too honest and I can’t get away with trying to lie about simple things 🤦🏼‍♀️😂🤷‍♀️