Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Murder

284 replies

Frankblackwife · 07/10/2025 06:49

Do you think you could get away with it?

OP posts:
CautiousLurker01 · 07/10/2025 10:01

I am now thinking up an ITV series based on women who connected over a MN thread and go on to murder significant persons in their lives …

Nevertriedcaviar · 07/10/2025 10:02

No. Not today with current forensics. I wouldn't know what to do with a body and I'm not strong enough to dig a grave. Besides, there's no one I would like to actually murder. There are people I don't like, but I wouldn't go to that extreme.

TheNightingalesStarling · 07/10/2025 10:06

This thread has given me a few more ideas...

Publicly (or on Social Media) get involved in a charity head shave so there's an excuse for being bare headed to leave no hairs behind.

Plant evidence of an enemy or just a random person

Please note... I have no desires in real life. I plan crime novels in my head for distraction on long drives!

BigAnne · 07/10/2025 10:07

Many years ago there was a man known as the shoe rapist. He was convicted many years later after his twin was charged with a minor offence and had to give a dna sample. Up until that point he had no criminal record.

FastFood · 07/10/2025 10:07

No, I live in London, there's CCTV everywhere, I would never be able to dispose of a body.

But I also wouldn't want to get away with murder. If I was to cause someone's death, I'd go to the police station right away, I'd rather go to jail than being on the run.

AndSoFinally · 07/10/2025 10:10

DCorMe · 07/10/2025 07:35

Around 90% solved rate in the UK.

the pushing down the stairs is defo best way to do it

But the 90% solve rate suggests that all murders are identified as such. I bet there are plenty of accidents/suicides that are really unrecognised murders…

thequeenoftarts · 07/10/2025 10:27

hmmmm I'm not sure I have enough energy to dispose of the corpse afterwards lol
Can I not just put a spell on them to vanish to an unoccupied island for 1000 years? So much easier and less messy :)

LunaTheCat · 07/10/2025 10:36

sashh · 07/10/2025 09:20

I have more.

There is quite a famous case where someone in the USA almost got away with it.

He murdered his wife, froze her solid and then took her out in to the woods near a river with chipper and chippered her body in to the river.

He was caught because his wife had a letter in her pocket that didn't completely disintegrate and because he hired the chipper in his own name with a credit card.

That’s horrendous ! How did the letter survive the chipper 🫣

NutButterOnToast · 07/10/2025 10:39

sashh · 07/10/2025 09:08

I think to get away with it you need it to look like an accident or something to blur the waters and get manslaughter.

The comments about drink driving, dangerous driving etc are also valid.

If you are male you stand more chance of getting away with it, just say the person you murdered was into 'rough sex'.

Mick Philpott tried to murder an ex girlfriend and her mother. The ex, Kim Hill was stabbed repeatedly resulting in a collapsed lung, a punctured bladder, kidney and liver.

Philpott spent 3 years in prison.

I suppose the other thing is to carefully leave a false trail that someone else did it.

So borrow the patsy's phone to research methods, 'borrow' their phone and take it on a little trip. Borrow their car and drive through a couple of red lights disguised as the patsy.

Carbon monoxide would be a good one, a dodgy water heater can produce that. The problem is you need to inhale a well and if you only have a bit in your blood stream then that will indicate you were not in the house.

I suppose if you could get the person exposed and then 'discover' them.

Eg, say it was your partner, arrange a winter weekend away in an isolated little cottage somewhere. Get them there then get hold of a gas heater, start to use it without opening any windows (you may have to bring this with you or have hidden it some where). Turn off the actual cottage heating so the only heat appears to be the gas heater

Then you need an excuse to leave, maybe you have just started your period and need to get supplies. This is why the cottage has to be isolated.

On the way back you run out of petrol so you have to wait for the AA / RAC so this further delays you.

But the plan isn't fool proof.

Your partner needs to not know you have to open a window with those heaters.
Your partner not noticing the heating is off and turning it back on or contacting the owner of the cottage.

Sometimes I worry about me.

That reminds me of that Army officer who tried to murder his wife by sabotaging her parachute, having failed to bump her off with a damaged gas pipe in their house.

He was pretty rubbish at murder but that woman had more lives than a cat.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 07/10/2025 10:51

Well according to some American crime podcaster , the UK has more surveillance than anywhere else in the world, so that would be a no from me.

CurtsyFriends · 07/10/2025 10:52

FancyCatSlave · 07/10/2025 09:49

Oh gosh I have nightmares all the time about covering my tracks after a murder and every time I make some kind of error. Then I wake up in a sweat with a pounding heart and have to calm down and remember that I haven’t killed anyone and it’s all fine. But I end up in a right tizz that can last ages.

Clearly in my subconscious I am murdering a lot of people.

Sometimes I wake up and my first thought is “One day they will find the bodies and all this will be over”

And like you, I’m really unsettled for a long time afterwards. And literally all I have is that thought. No dreams of killing anyone. Very odd. I do worry that maybe I was Jack The Ripper in a former life or something….

booksnbaking · 07/10/2025 10:56

ShodAndShadySenators · 07/10/2025 09:53

Miss Marple would be onto you in a flash. She'd notice that you said you were at the church social when you couldn't have been because the vicar's wife had asked you to fetch the hand-sewn cossacks and then it would be all up with you! You murdering hag. What did Colonel Bagshot do to you, eh?

Hassocks, presumably, unless you had a very international church community...

moderndilemma · 07/10/2025 11:31

When you hear about cases from 40 or 50 years ago where they've found new DNA evidence, I aways think 'I bet they thought they'd gotten away with that one'.

I might be able to get away with muder now but I'd live in perpetual fear that changing technology would catch up with me many years down the line...

Arlanymor · 07/10/2025 11:34

TheNightingalesStarling · 07/10/2025 10:06

This thread has given me a few more ideas...

Publicly (or on Social Media) get involved in a charity head shave so there's an excuse for being bare headed to leave no hairs behind.

Plant evidence of an enemy or just a random person

Please note... I have no desires in real life. I plan crime novels in my head for distraction on long drives!

But people have hairs elsewhere on their bodies!

StasisMom · 07/10/2025 11:34

WhamBamThankU · 07/10/2025 09:37

I know this is a jokey thread but your opinion on homeless people is vile.

I don't think she means kill the homeless people, at least I hope not. I think the "their" refers to the victim.

Arlanymor · 07/10/2025 11:37

LunaTheCat · 07/10/2025 10:36

That’s horrendous ! How did the letter survive the chipper 🫣

If it's this case I don't think it was to do with a letter: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Helle_Crafts

Murder of Helle Crafts - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Helle_Crafts

ToTheStarsToTheSea · 07/10/2025 11:39

I can't lie to save my life so absolutely not.

TheNightingalesStarling · 07/10/2025 11:45

Arlanymor · 07/10/2025 11:34

But people have hairs elsewhere on their bodies!

That you can cover easily with clothes!

IAmKerplunk · 07/10/2025 11:46

I love my life outside of work according to my 10 minute timer in order for me to break things down and get things done so can’t imagine me trying to push someone off a cliff and just before the final push my phone timer goes off and I sit down for 10 minutes to reflect 🤣

I think there are many, many more murders than ever reported whether accident/suicide/gone missing.

Pondering on this thread - what about going missing? Do you think you could manage to go missing and leave friends/family behind and start a whole new life? Hmm maybe I will start a new thread on that

StasisMom · 07/10/2025 12:23

IAmKerplunk · 07/10/2025 11:46

I love my life outside of work according to my 10 minute timer in order for me to break things down and get things done so can’t imagine me trying to push someone off a cliff and just before the final push my phone timer goes off and I sit down for 10 minutes to reflect 🤣

I think there are many, many more murders than ever reported whether accident/suicide/gone missing.

Pondering on this thread - what about going missing? Do you think you could manage to go missing and leave friends/family behind and start a whole new life? Hmm maybe I will start a new thread on that

I often wonder about that! It seemed to happen quite a lot when I was young, 80s/90s!

ShodAndShadySenators · 07/10/2025 12:27

booksnbaking · 07/10/2025 10:56

Hassocks, presumably, unless you had a very international church community...

Gosh yes, brain fog I'm afraid! Not as sharp as Jane Marple that's for sure Grin

Namechagergamechangwr91 · 07/10/2025 12:32

BlueJuniper94 · 07/10/2025 06:49

I wouldn't want to

Me either. I'd just go and hand myself in 😅. I can only imagine it would be in self defence or an accident and I'd feel terrible for it

Cara707 · 07/10/2025 12:33

I wouldn't want to. I couldn't cope with the weight of it, I don't want to kill anyone and I'm an honest person so wouldn't and couldn't!

jonthebatiste · 07/10/2025 12:33

A crappy novel read in my teens left me with the knowledge that an icicle is the perfect murder weapon. Sadly, I live in a sub-tropical climate.

ChikinLikin · 07/10/2025 12:49

An icicle or a frozen leg of lamb that you then roast and eat.