AIBU for being upset my mother turned on the heating because her feet were cold?

[FartyPants9]

My parents are staying with me. We were in the sitting room of my house. My mother said her feet were cold and asked if anyone wanted the heating turned on, me and my father said we were fine and didn't need the heating turned on.

A short while later I started sweating really badly and felt hot and uncomfortable, I said I was hot and my mother replied "oh yeah, I turned the heating on", my father got annoyed and told her if her feet were cold she should have put a pair of socks and this started a loud argument between them.

I'm sensitive to loud noises so fled to the kitchen.

AIBU in being annoyed that she ignored that me and my father didn't want the heating on and put her own comfort first?

Why 'should' it always be on? Mine hasn't been on yet but if my feet are cold I put on a pair of socks or even find my slippers.

The irony of what you said, completely over your head.

Im sitting here with cold feet. I find socks do t make that much of oa difference. I've spent my life having cold feet from September to March. DH wont have the heating on until the end of October because he's always too hot.

She'll need to woman up and put up with it if everyone else is comfortable.

This is one of the best responses I’ve read on here!

You missed -
I'm sensitive to loud noises so fled to the kitchen.

OP must have a country mansion. I imagine them fleeing from one end of the estate to another, which inhabits the kitchen, a natural refuge..tiles, tea and a door that closes.

Did you miss the autism part
It's a disability
It makes life difficult for us
Sometimes we don't respond in the way a neurotypical person would

So his say goes then?! You think that is okay? Her mum should be cold, because her dad didn't want it on and OP doesn't care if a guest in her house is cold or not.

He didn't want it on, so it's not going on.

Gotcha.

Some people need to RTFT! Or just OPs posts! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Some people don't like to wear socks or layers. They like to be comfortable and that often includes putting rhe heating on. I'm always shocked to find so many people on here refuse to put their heating on until November or December.

Exactly my thoughts

You clearly missed the part where OP is autistic, or are you just trying to be nasty?

No need for comments like this - op is autistic.

But if everyone else in the house is warm enough, then the preference of the person with cold feet doesn’t trump everyone else’s comfort.

Theres no indication the OPs mother won’t in general wear something on her feet, unlikely the OP would have bought her warm booties if that was the case.

Your mum sounds narcissistic and is a child abuser. I know a good few people with ADHD (likely my own mum) it can make people impulsive and also over react to things but beating up a kid is her own choice.

I wouldn’t let her stay, I know it is hard to do that but she only cares about herself. I wouldn’t let strongly suggest speaking to a councillor and getting help dealing with her and your past trauma. You should not have been treated that way and she has no right to yell or abuse people.

I have autism and dislike loud noises, but I wouldn’t have ‘fled’. I’d have calmly walked.

Good for you.
maybe you didn’t have a mother who beat you with a riding crop though. Maybe that would alter your reaction to conflict.

I think its fair enough to run to the kitchen to escape the shouting. I had some shouting relatives and I'd do anything to escape having to listen to it, especially as OP would also be in the firing line and they'd soon start shouting at her too.

🤣🤣🤣

Always one 🙄

Yes, thank god there’s the odd one of us ND people out there who aren’t complete drama lamas and do try to respond in a reasonable fashion to things we find uncomfortable.
What an arse I am!

Nope, just a garden cane. 80s baby, such was life.

I would say YABU if you were genuinely annoyed rather than mildly irritated, but having played bridge at clubs where the most vocal women who think 24C is cold always get their way and I have to sweat buckets in summer because no-one will open a window or turn the AC on, I'm used to this sort of thing.

If it were me with cold feet, I would put more footwear on because that is the most logical solution. Turning the heating on, it will take time for anyone to feel the benefit, even more so when it is just exposed limbs that are cold, so covering the cold limb is far more likely to provide comfort the fastest, but people don't always think and prefer the solution that feels best, not the one that is best.

You can have OP's other problems if you like, e.g. a mother that beat her with a riding crop when she was 13.

I don't think that it's OP who is the bully:

'And to answer your question, no I don't particularly care that her feet were cold, she beat me with a horse riding crop when I was 13 and dragged me by my hair because she left 20 Irish pounds in her locker at work because she thought I'd taken it'

It doesn't sound as though her mum has changed much.

I was referring to the ugly attitude and superiority complex actually.

If the post had been properly written in the first place, this wouldn't be an issue.

It's highly manipulative to present one version of events then change it entirely through drip feeding.