AIBU for being upset my mother turned on the heating because her feet were cold?

[FartyPants9]

My parents are staying with me. We were in the sitting room of my house. My mother said her feet were cold and asked if anyone wanted the heating turned on, me and my father said we were fine and didn't need the heating turned on.

A short while later I started sweating really badly and felt hot and uncomfortable, I said I was hot and my mother replied "oh yeah, I turned the heating on", my father got annoyed and told her if her feet were cold she should have put a pair of socks and this started a loud argument between them.

I'm sensitive to loud noises so fled to the kitchen.

AIBU in being annoyed that she ignored that me and my father didn't want the heating on and put her own comfort first?

Surely that depends where you live. The UK isn't all of a single temperature you know, although some people don't seem able to comprehend that.

I'm in Essex and it was 20⁰ here yesterday. Today is forecast about 18⁰. So still fairly pleasant. Our heating is set to come on on the timer but it only will if the indoor temperature drops below 18.5⁰, which has hardly happened yet. Just a couple of times during the last fortnight or so, and then not by very much.

You think?? 😂

You could have offered DM a pair of socks and cushion for her feet rather than just saying you were warm enough when she said she was cold. Maybe a rug too. Old people feel the cold more.

‘Fled to the kitchen’ , sorry but I laughed out loud at that!

Big girl pants time, OP.

She’d bought her mother heated booties. The mother didn’t even have socks on. The mother could have got those, or asked the OP to fetch them. Well, that’s if the mother was a normal reasonable person, the OPs subsequent posts make it pretty clear she isn’t.

Exactly. 'It's October so the heating should be on' is a batshit statement. As you say (and I said earlier,) it was up to 20-21C in parts of the UK yesterday - 19C in the Midlands! And I know most (if not all) of the country was well into double figures. Even up north/much of Scotland it was at least 15C. I saw it in the weather report. Putting the heating on yesterday would have been crazy! You don't just put the heating on 'because it's October!'

There were a few days in September when it dropped to single figures. One morning it was 4 degrees C at 10am! In mid September! So the heating went on then to take the chill off the house. Only needed 20-25 minutes, as we have a small house and good insulation, so it stays warm for a while when the heating has been on.

I have also had times in (GASP!) WINTER! when the heating doesn't go on for a week, because it's 12-15 degrees C, and not cold.

Heating should go on when it's cold, not because it's October LMFAO. 😆

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You would like an abusive mother?

Exactly this. Your guest's comfort should come first.

Why does it being October automatically make it essential to put the heating on? Surely if your feet are cold you put some socks on.

I put my heating on whenever I am cold, no matter what the time of year is, however the first thing I do is to put fluffy socks on to keep my feet warm.

YANBU.

Stop inviting them to stay. Simple.

also you should of told her to put her slippers/socks on. Being bare foot in someone elses house is gross.

So what do you do when another guest doesn't want the heating on?

Wouldn’t most people put a pair of socks on first, though?

OP, it seems as if you find your parents' visits very stressful, so there is an easy solution - stop inviting them! Meet them st their house, or a neutral venue. Everyone will be happier.

I'm surprised by the number of people who seem to want to sit in their houses wearing a tee shirt and shorts, so put the heating on at the first drop in temperature, when I'm wearing an Oodie and fleeces! But then I can't afford to put my heating on unless it's absolutely PERISHING, so maybe I'm just jealous.

But yeah. Put another layer on first.

Agree. Some people saying put the hearing on, they’re guests. If I’m a guest, I’m conscious of my hosts heating bills so would dress appropriately first.

So follow through. Stop letting her in. She has no respect for you, or your father either. You don't have to put up with her shit.

If she calls you a brat in YOUR OWN HOME then chuck her out. Actually do it.

Because if you are the only one that is cold, putting the heating on is going to make everyone else too hot, obviously. Also there are little matters like the expense of heating the whole house and the waste of planetary resources.

@FartyPants9 then dont invite her over anymore. Keep the door locked so she cant just walk in. Tell her until she packs her behaviour in shes not welcome. You must stand up for yourself.
if she says anything in your own home, stand up & tell her to leave if she doesnt call the bloody police to have her removed.

and thoughtful mothers don’t beat their 13 year olds with a riding crop

Agree - our heating is technically on all year, but only activated by the thermostat so it’s come on a few mornings lately. It does feel cooler so we’ve got out our jumpers and socks for daytime wear. I also bought a plug in blanket last year because I am hypothyroid so, sometimes, I can feel a tad cold when everyone else is fine, but I only use that after adding a layer first.

Seems like a lot of drama over nothing

Haven't you read OP's posts? She pointed out to her mother that heated bootees were right beside her.

Do you normally laugh at autistic people who have difficulty in copying with other people shouting?

Chances are your mother is autistic too?
I haven’t put my heating on yet, we have heated throws so I would have offered her one of those or asked her to put socks on, but I don’t think it’s a huge deal, I would want my mum to feel comfortable. I am autistic too, I hate shouting so I would probably just let my mother do as she wishes to save confrontation, life’s too short.