AIBU for being upset my mother turned on the heating because her feet were cold?

[FartyPants9]

My parents are staying with me. We were in the sitting room of my house. My mother said her feet were cold and asked if anyone wanted the heating turned on, me and my father said we were fine and didn't need the heating turned on.

A short while later I started sweating really badly and felt hot and uncomfortable, I said I was hot and my mother replied "oh yeah, I turned the heating on", my father got annoyed and told her if her feet were cold she should have put a pair of socks and this started a loud argument between them.

I'm sensitive to loud noises so fled to the kitchen.

AIBU in being annoyed that she ignored that me and my father didn't want the heating on and put her own comfort first?

You can just be annoyed at people when they do things you find annoying. Not everything needs an AIBU post.

She was cold. It's October so the heating should be on anyways.

If a guest is cold, you should put the heating on. Because they are a guest

I'd probably have found it a bit annoying but having the heating on in October isn't that unreasonable, and fleeing the kitchen is very unreasonable and over dramatic.

Neither you nor your father asked her not to turn it on. It doesn't seem fair to blame her. Sorry to hear there was any shouting about it. That's completely out of proportion.

It is hard to break childhood patterns and your father may not let you, but ideally as host you'd calm things down and cheer people up by not presenting this as a big problem. If you're sweating while your mum is cold, have you a small plug in heater / heated throw / anything else for her comfort?

My father is also a guest and he didn't want the heating on, why should one guest take priority over the other?

Your mum is cold. Be kind to her and let her have the heating on

This is such a non-issue. I do wonder sometimes if we're losing the capacity for independent thought.

I’d have fetched her slippers first, and given her a rug (throw), if she was sitting bare-footed with her feet on laminate or similar. Or asked her to herself if she’s fit and able.

I get cold feet but, you know, socks and slippers exist.

You fled the kitchen because she put the heating on?

For real?

Don't you have some visitor slippers? Does she have vascular disease? Some older people do not deal well with cold.

I think you and your dad were kind of assholes to her.

If my mum was staying in my house and was cold, I’d do something about it. Your dad was being mean to her.

I come on here to doom scroll rather than other social media’s and this was worth a post?

is it really that deep? Really that heart breaking that you sweat a little bit and realised your mum put the heating on.

it’s a non issue, turn the heating off take a layer off go for a cool shower and move on

I assume that your mum didnt have socks or slippers on? If so your dads right she should have put some socks on first

I might not want to turn the heating on because I get warm easily, but if a guest said they were cold, especially my mother, I wouldn’t just outvote them and ignore the problem. I would offer nice warm socks, a blanket, and a cup of tea to start.

Her feet were cold, especially in someone's else's house (even your daughters) socks/slippers FIRST.

my heating doesn't go on because it's October, it goes on when it's cold enough to need it & it hasn't been colder than needing socks/a cardi yet.

To put the heating on when everyone else has said they're comfortable without (again in someone else's house) is so rude.

@FartyPants9 it was rude of her to put your heating on when you were asked & said you were comfortable without ASKING you if you minded & without trying socks/slippers/blanket first.

I get you were hot and uncomfortable but your dm a guest was cold put the heating on. I don’t why it caused an argument take a layer off stick your head out the window to cool down
it’s not unreasonable to have the heating on in October only on mn does it seem to be a challenge who can hold off the longest before putting the heating on mine is set to come on if it dips below a certain temperature all year round rather then what month it is

I run the heating on higher when my parents are visiting, because they feel the cold much more than me.

Well, what’s your solution then? If one guest shouldn’t have priority over another, why does your father’s preference trump your mother’s?

Either way, you’re making a massive drama out of a tiny thing. Your mum was cold, your dad wasn’t, they bickered. So what? Families disagree sometimes. It’s OK to find each other irritating, sure, but there’s no need to act like turning a thermostat up is akin to your mum dropping her knickers and shitting on the carpet.

I fled to the kitchen because my parents were arguing, she started shouting at my father when he told her she should put have put a pair of socks on and that set him off shouting at her and by shouting at each other I don't mean slightly raised voices I mean shouting at the top of their lungs.

To be honest I couldn’t get worked up over this - your dad completely backed you in the moment so you won in that sense.

for me I go with whatever temperature the guests want, it’s totally valid if they feel my house is too cold or too warm. I like wearing shorts all year inside with a t shirt so I guess the temperature at mine generally leans high for me, or my body temperature runs high. But I’ve had guests who have been freezing so I wouldn’t assume it’s the right temperature for everyone.

Why would you need to sit there with a blanket when you can just be comfortable with the heating on? Some people don't like to wear layers.

I live in the NW, even when my house isn’t cold my parents say it is so I put the heating on and end up wearing a vest top and shorts. Because I don’t want them to be uncomfortable. The fact that you’re using the word flee suggests some sort of trauma, are you ok? I don’t think this is because of the heating op

Waste of energy putting heating on just for cold feet. She should have put fluffy socks and/or slippers. Don’t understand people who put on heating to waltz round the house in a T-shirt

No, she doesn't have any sort of disease.

What a bunch of drama llamas. Shouting, fleeing? How silly.

If you’re cold, it’s not unreasonable to put on the heating.