Partner refusing to pay

[Eeeek1]

Looking for some advice please (D!)P
has decided to stop working (self employed) so 0 money coming in from him. Everything house and bills wise has always been 50/50!
This has now been going on for 8 months and I cannot afford it any longer I can’t afford 100% of everything.
We have one DC
The house is on the market desperately hoping it will sell but no luck as of yet.
He simply refuses to work / contribute any money. He is in a terrible financial situation but my concern is our home our bills.
When we sell I want to be able to start again on my own so mindful of my credit rating.
What do I do? I simply cannot find the money any more. I spoke with the mortgage company and they can help for 6 months but after the 6 months if the house has not sold the repayments will increase to cover the period of help which worries me in case things are not sorted in 6 months il be in a worse position. Do I write to mortgage company and say I can continue to pay 50% as with the other bills or do I let everything default?
Can’t get through to DP at all. He refuses to work and refuses move out, says the house is still his. I just cannot believe it has come to this. I’d be grateful of any advice. Just want to be out of this horrid mess

Good point. IIRC as part of conveyancing there’s a document which all resident non owning adults have to sign to say they agree to vacate on completion. Since DP is a named owner and has agreed to the sale l don’t think he could legally refuse after completion as the property is no longer his. If he were to refuse to move he would have to do it before exchange or it could get very expensive. If l were OP l’d be checking with the conveyancing solicitor to see if there are any safeguards given the situation.

Not read all replies so may have been mentioned, but with my mortgage company (HSBC, so just a standard bank) I can change my term any time, even though it’s a 5 year fixed rate and not a tracker. So if I suddenly can’t afford repayments I could add another 15 years to my term and reduce my monthly payments massively. Could you ask your bank about that?

You may wish to keep it private, but the good folks of mumsnet have been eally helpful to some sellers in the past in helping them to best stage their rightmove advert if you're okay with sharing it. Sometimes we're just blind to our own home and don't realise the ad doesn't mention the parking or school catchments, or the photos aren't taken in good light or show bad angles/clutter etc

If your partner is poor with money and has been self-employed up to 8 months ago, I bet your bottom dollar he's in debt. He's stopped working, simply because he thinks if he's not earning, he has no money to pay creditors. You aren't responsible for any debt that is in his name. He probably owes suppliers/clients and possibly HMRC. The issue is you are linked by the mortgage, and if he does owe money, especially to the HMRC, they can put a charge against the house. HMRC don't let go, if he owes them money, they will come at him full pelt. I think you need to seek advice from the CAB. See if they can help you cut costs, and speak to someone regarding the implications to you if creditors put a charge against the house. Make sure you have completely separate bank accounts and there's nothing joint (other than the current mortgage). Are you able to apply for a credit score in his name, to see if there are debts? Your partner isn't going to be honest with you. No one wakes one morning and decides they are no longer going to work, even if their relationship is on the rocks. Signs of MH issues tend to show before a complete breakdown, so I don't believe he's depressed. He's burying his head in the sand.

Complete breakdowns come “out of nowhere” all the time. The signs can be so subtle family don’t put 2+2 together. The strange behaviour of stopping work is certainly a massive red flag.

completely agree with reverting you’ve said, I think there is a self employed related car crash behind this too.

Might be worth under a different name and new thread to put a link to your property under the property section on mn

people will be able to advise how to make property better and if in that area to say If over priced etc

having fresh eyes look at it and saying you need to declutter or tidy up front etc may help you get a sell

Is he slobbing around in his jocks when there are viewings, and making a mess with cups on the floor etc. I wouldn't be one bit surprised if he is somewhat sabotaging the sale.

Are you able to re-jig the house and rent out a room?
Is there anything you can do to make the house more attractive to buyers?

What a bloody nightmare for you.

Has he explained why he suddenly stopped taking on work? Whatever his reasoning, he sounds like an arse. Hope the house sells soon 🤞🏻

Here's to wishing you a speedy sale!

Get legal advice. If you have evidence you’ve been paying these past 8 months then you will receive more money when you sell the property.

You say (D) P.

Why is it not Ex P?

You are using language that suggests the relationship isn't over. Why?

Are you still talking? Does he interact at all with your child?
Did this behaviour coincide with the breakdown of your relationship or has the relationship broken down since he stopped working.
If he is not paying he needs you to be able to rent out a room and minimise things like heating costs.

What's his reason for deciding to stop work? That's bonkers.

Either way, I think you need legal advice as soon as possible.

I'd imagine divorce is your own option at this point. He's opted out of the decision-making process, so it's down to you. You also have your son to think of.

Legal separation this week and start divorce proceedings. Protect yourself and your child.

Can you ask his family for money?

50:50 is by no means set in stone. When my ex and I split up, she originally insisted on 50:50 split; however, I got legal advice and I had good grounds for getting a higher percentage. We agreed a settlement through mediation in the end but had it gone to court there was a strong chance I would have been awarded more than half. Things such as having a child to support (which limits a lone parent’s capacity to increase their income) and him not contributing to the mortgage payments for x months are in OP’s favour.

🤦🏻‍♀️

Not necessarily. It never occurred to me that I would be entitled to anything (despite being on far less than 60k) because I have a mortgage and had never been able to claim anything beyond job seekers allowance when I was out of work years ago.

Did you both put a hefty deposit down on the house? Will you leave with any equity? Does your soon to be Ex have family who might buy you out and allow you to leave cleanly?

I'd personally be selling anything I could and shutting down any discretionary services like streaming etc. How old is your child? The atmosphere must be toxic.

I hope he isn't using the WiFi you pay for. Change the password..

Definitely do not do that! They pay 25% below market value!

Please read the posts! They aren’t married!

Just what I was going to say. Any deal on your mortgage is bad for your credit rating. Get the house sold ASAP

I think it would be worse if they were married. They would be expected to leave the relationship with some semblance of equal footing which might cost OP since he is going to struggle to raise a mortgage.

the judge would expect him to work though. It could cost £20k odd to get to the point here this is said in court.

what they have is like 2 friends owning a property- no obligation to each others future lives. Yes the child arrangements need sorting out but i maintain this is not a priority use of cash at the moment.