Partner refusing to pay

[Eeeek1]

Looking for some advice please (D!)P
has decided to stop working (self employed) so 0 money coming in from him. Everything house and bills wise has always been 50/50!
This has now been going on for 8 months and I cannot afford it any longer I can’t afford 100% of everything.
We have one DC
The house is on the market desperately hoping it will sell but no luck as of yet.
He simply refuses to work / contribute any money. He is in a terrible financial situation but my concern is our home our bills.
When we sell I want to be able to start again on my own so mindful of my credit rating.
What do I do? I simply cannot find the money any more. I spoke with the mortgage company and they can help for 6 months but after the 6 months if the house has not sold the repayments will increase to cover the period of help which worries me in case things are not sorted in 6 months il be in a worse position. Do I write to mortgage company and say I can continue to pay 50% as with the other bills or do I let everything default?
Can’t get through to DP at all. He refuses to work and refuses move out, says the house is still his. I just cannot believe it has come to this. I’d be grateful of any advice. Just want to be out of this horrid mess

He has never been good with money but never to this extreme. He is use to me always making sure we are ok!
He has talked of being depressed but I’m not so sure. He is not acting depressed in any other way just simply not working.
No not abusive, can just be a complete d*
No safety issues what so ever.

I have a friend who has just spent £16k not getting an occupation order.

OP please don’t pay out for legal advice unless you genuinely have something to take advice on. It’s massively expensive and obviously isn’t something you should direct cash on right now

Will your child live just with you after?
be warned, he may fight you to be the main care giver claiming he has been a stay at home dad so he would get universal credit and priority housing for you and your child. You need legal advice about child areanmgenrs more than finances in my view.

No

Why would the child just live with her? Standard would be 50:50.

again, OP please don’t waste money on legal fees. You need to pay your bloody mortgage 😭

surely no one in real life wastes money like this when they can’t afford their mortgage???

Yes child will live me. He absolutely has not been a stay at home parent. I do 99.9% of everything for child. Neither of us would be entitled to housing.

Btw OP my would guess would be he hasn’t just decided to stop working but the work has dried up or hes in some trouble with competitors/ suppliers/ the revenue which has put an end to it. It happens more often than you’d think.

Sell it to We Buy Any Home? You'll get shot of it and him although you'll get a lot less than its true worth, but at least you'll be free of him.

No I won’t be taking legal advice.
The split of the house is straight forward thankfully. There is no money there on his side so no one can force him to pay.
Child arrangements won’t be an issue

If he’s not working, what is he doing with all of his time?

Ask for mortage to be made interest only.

What a shit.

Does he have any valuables you can sell to put towards his share?

Do you have somewhere else lined up to go? Good luck OP, sounds like partner is going to be a very expensive mistake. Kudos for trying so hard to keep everything afloat on your own, you must be shattered with the worry.

He really should be honest about it and out there looking for a job. Any job, paying the mortgage is the most important.

I started to do this but it didn’t go down very well!

She’s not going to be able to make him though is she? Better to get out with minimal stress

What did he do?

Iv not wanted to look until there is an offer on the table for our house.
Indeed for too many years although I have my amazing child!
yes shattered and very stressed. But these comments have really helped.

So how is buying food for himself if he has no income?

I didn't say she could make him?

You said he should be honest and get any job.

hes not on this thread, so who was that comment aimed at if not OP?

I really wish you a quick end to this and the house so you can recover and move on. You did grand by the sounds of it and not much more you could've done. And yes, at least you have an amazing child, that's the best ever :-)
Take care and good luck for the future, be happy. x

Will he actually leave the home ⁸

Someone raised a good question on asking if you claim Universal Credit. Check out the entitled to website. You might be pleasantly surprised. I went through a phase where DP was doing my fruit in and I checked on there whether I’d be entitled to anything, not thinking I would as I earn a good wage, but I was entitled to a top up.

it might help you get through these next few months.

He has talked of being depressed but I’m not so sure. He is not acting depressed in any other way just simply not working.

What he has done seems somewhat puzzling. I could understand it more if he'd been fired or quit a job he hated and was just not bothering to look for a new one or make money any other way, but with freelancing he could at least bring in some money while avoiding the most stressful jobs/clients. I was also wondering if he has some kind of MH issue (or even a physical health issue manifesting as that) as if he does that might provide some sort of financial relief for him, which would relieve the pressure on you. But if he won't seek a diagnosis and get help there's not a lot you can do.

I assume he has savings if he's bringing in nothing and you're no longer subsidising him in any way EXCEPT paying for his half of your child's upkeep?
Make sure you file for CMS once you're no longer living together; he may have no income now but presumably he can't go forever with none.

I started to do this but it didn’t go down very well!

I wouldn't worry about his comfort or well-being at the moment; he has trampled all over yours and your (plural) child's! I think I'd be contacting his family if he has one at this stage, seeing if there is any way they can bail him out.