Niece sold family property

[Sodi]

Hi, so my parents owned a property that has been in our family for generations. About 15 years ago my parents had to move out as it was a flat in a building which did have a lift but it didn’t go to the top floor and they weren’t mobile enough to use the stairs. My sister was going through a divorce at this time and moved in. When my parents passed away in 2019 and 2020 respectively they left the flat to my sister in its entirety as she was living there. I got the holiday home and some savings they had but ultimately the flat was worth much more (central London location). I didn’t really mind as long as it stayed in the family.
my sister then passed away quite suddenly in 2022. My niece was abroad for university but it was left to her. We stepped in to help with funeral planning etc as my niece was only 21 at the time and an only child. We also helped her organise insurance for the property, and we were the ones who checked in on it regularly while she was abroad.
She moved back to London for her masters in 2023 and moved back in, we lost touch with her despite trying to keep contact, she wasn’t interested.

The property meant a lot to me, I remember my grandparents living there, then in my late teens and uni years I lived there with my parents, then it was my sisters. We no longer live anywhere near London as we moved 2 years ago but I liked knowing it was in the family.

Recently my son asked me what happened to the flat, I asked what he meant and he told me that he had noticed niece had moved back to her country of birth and fathers home country so probably wasn’t using the flat. I reached out to my niece and she told me she had sold it. I got extremely upset, and was probably a bit harsh on her. But if I had known she was wanting to sell I’d have found a way to purchase it myself for my own family. However she gave me no notice she was planning to do this.

She told me she didn’t want to keep it as it reminded her too much of her mums death, which is fair enough. However I think it was extremely insensitive of her to sell a property that had been in the family for so long without checking in with me or my cousins.

My husband thinks I’m being unreasonable as the property wasn’t mine, it was my nieces to do as she wished with and that happened to be selling it. However I’m not disagreeing with her right to sell it just her choice not to check if anyone in the family wanted to buy it before letting strangers have it (and most likely turn it into a rental or AirBnB).

AIBU?

YABU. Not your flat and as you say, you lived nowhere near it!

Why would she? Had she the tiniest idea you had an attachment to it?

Yes that's usually how property sales work

You never imagined the property leaving your family? That was very naive of you.

^This!
So entitled. The house is hers, your issue was with your parents for leaving to your sister really. You say you didn’t mind as it was in the family, but you never visited so what difference does it make who owns it.

You have no right to be angry at your niece. If it meant so much you should have had a conversation with her about it at some point. Surely it occurred to you she might want to sell at some point, if you’re not in touch with her it was your responsibility to make she she knew to let you know if she did decide to sell.
YATA here.

If I died suddenly when my child was that age and my sister was so distant they didn't keep in touch, I would be relieved that they had family in another country that would support them emotionally. I would be glad they sold the asset I left them and used it to move away from painful memories and start again.

Good luck to your niece.

You owe her an apology.

She not only lost touch with her niece but has lost touch with reality.

Op It’s a building. It didn’t belong to you. It’s never belonged to you. You are just holding on to memories it represents. The life that once was. That doesn’t go away because the building was sold. The memories can still be in your head.

Think of it as the building is now moving on to create more memories for others. And you need to look at moving on too. I’d start by apologising to your niece. It wasn’t her responsibility to tell you anything about selling it.
It sounds like you also have built up some resentment towards her and your sister and perhaps that’s now being directed at her.

You didn’t have to insure and check on it though you chose to. That doesn’t mean anything is reciprocated. You perhaps felt you are ‘owed’ something more because you resent that your sister got more than you.

But these were your parents wishes. Forgive them now- they did what they thought was best at the time for all of you. It can’t be changed. You can choose to let it go and have peace inside or you can choose the path of holding onto resentment. That’s down to you to decide.

Why are your memories more important than a young women setting herself up for her life ahead? Your jealousy of your sister then niece inheriting the property is clear. Presumably you have your own house and the holiday house.