DP got me the wrong present.

[PresentBlunder]

I really wanted the brand new Dyson air wrap for my birthday, it’s almost £600 - I know, ridiculous.

I’ve been squirrelling money away for a couple of months. DP asked me what I’d like for my birthday and I said the air wrap, but it’s a lot of money, so perhaps a contribution towards it. He said he’d buy it for me as it’s a big birthday and he’s getting his bonus from work soon.

My DP is very good at shopping around, getting a discount, we often buy second hand from Facebook and eBay. However, I explained to him that because it’s brand new out (1 month), he likely won’t find it as a bargain anywhere and he’s best off buying it direct from Dyson with our daughters student discount. He agreed and I sent the link.

Come today, I’ve opened my present from him and it’s the Dyson air wrap from quite a few years ago. A much older model without the latest tech or attachments. He was ridiculously pleased with himself and told me he’d got it for much cheaper than the advertised price.

Would you just be honest with him? I don’t want to crush him, he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, but it’s not what I wanted and I’d rather return it and put the money towards the one I actually wanted. I also don’t want to see ungrateful as it was a lovely gesture.

Or I could just return it and buy the one I want and he’ll likely never know?

Now, you see this is EXACTLY what my DH would do, down to the detail of by far the most exciting part of it (for him) being how cheap he managed to get it! I believe I would tell him in this situation, but I know I would get some pushback (oh come on, it's a f-ing hairdryer isn't it, how can it make any difference?), and some grumpiness and "well, that's the last time I get you anything". So actually saying nothing and quietly buying myself the right one when I could afford it (he would never notice) is probably the wisest course without actually LTB!! 😆

But actually, this is why we don't buy each other presents! We each buy our own on Xmas and we don't do birthday presents (well, he ordered me a chocolate cake on my 50th, it was jolly nice).

Why do some men do this? Just click on the fing link you've been sent and purchase it for fs sake. I fucking hate men like this with a passion its absolutely a turn off, off putting and would make my fanny clamp shut if my oh was like this.

1. ”very very” is a tautology
2. it’s great you were there to be able to clarify that beyond reasonable doubt

Forgive me if I’ve missed something but I was getting bored of reading all the posts from the women who hate their husbands

I am too nice, I think.
What I would do is secretly sell the one he gave me, buy myself the one I wanted. There is no way my other half would even know the difference.
However, it is really disappointing. Rope your daughter in next time.

Is that being “too nice”? Or is it just copping out of having any expectations of being treated decently and like you matter by your partner?

Why should a daughter need to get involved? Will your partner really not step up?

Actually you're wrong, very very isn't an example of tautology. Tautology is when you use words of similar meaning to express your idea but this is just repetition to show emphasis of an adverb.

Glad you bought it yourself op, my sister has it and said it's fantastic. I don't get why your husband is sulking, he's the one that messed up. I got my husband the wrong watch for his birthday and he told me and I was apologetic and made sure I got it changed asap. But it was a genuine mistake on my part, he hadn't sent me a link or been explicit in the type. I was just so glad he told me so I could make sure he got what he wanted

Yes, this is too nice.

In this scenario, the OP has all the hassle of selling an item she doesn't want secondhand, for far less than her husband claims to have paid for it, she doesn't get a birthday present from her husband, and he gets the smug satisfaction of believing that he knew best and got a good deal.

Personally, I probably wouldn't say anything. It's a hoover after all and people are more important. If you really don't like it though, you could ask him for the receipt and tell the shop what happened on the sly and maybe they might exchange it or give a give discount off the one you want.Hopefully your DP won't notice and sure if he does you could admit it then, a bit like Rachel in Friends who always returns stuff 😅

It's not a hoover...

It's a hairdryer and he doesn't have the receipt because he actually bought an old version secondhand from a random person on Facebook.

Technically, tautology covers rhetorical repetition as well as logical redundancy — that’s the sense I was using. But I do admire the confidence with which you’ve corrected me.

I’m sick of seeing women put in this position. You sent him a link, he knew the price and you were completely upfront about the exact cost. What are the chances that he didn’t realise that he was getting an older model? Slim in my opinion. If you hadn’t been so sure that you wanted an exact one and hadn’t offered for him to make a contribution then of course I would say that he wasn’t to know. I find men do this a lot, expect you to be grateful and agreeable about something that if you really break it down they have taken from you. Now all that is available to you is to disappoint him slightly or disappoint yourself slightly, happy birthday to you 😂 I heard something about putting yourself first recently and in this instance I think you should. That said, I would hate to have to tell my OH that I was disappointed. Men suck.

A woman put in all the legwork. A man decided to ignore that and do what he wanted. Why should another woman be brought in to fix it? Why is it women's job to spoonfeed him (even more than he already had been), rather than it being down to the man to put 2 seconds thought into it.

I'm confident because I'm correct,. Just because you were using it in that sense doesn't make you right, tautology only covers using different words not repetition. You were trying to be rude to the other poster, if you're going to be that type of person at least be right

Return it and get the kne you want. Happy Birthday 🎂

When i read threads like I thank Christ I'm gay.

Oh come on, he's an adult. He made a mistake and knowing that isn't going to break him.

Return it and get the one you want.

I didn’t know gay people don’t covet expensive hairdryers?

You can always keep both for a few days and give them a trial run to see which you’d rather keep, and which you want to return/sell

I'm bald!!! But really. All this hate. It's a fricking hairdryer.

It's not just a fricking hairdryer, it's the point he ignored what she actually wanted and cheaped out despite it being something she wanted to treat herself with and had been saving up for. It's the lack of care and thought. She sent him the bloody link and told him to get it from there and he still thought he knew better

Actually, tautology does include rhetorical repetition — that’s well established in both classical and modern rhetoric. I’ve a master’s in the field, before you tread further down this undulated path of yours. In hindsight, I probably could’ve just said that the other poster’s lack of suitable vocabulary, and what was essentially just their opinion, being stated as fact, was what was truly offensive. I did think that rude though. Still, it’s always oddly entertaining to see someone so eager to play the resident pick-me pedant. By all means do continue if it pleases you.

Still a hairdryer. If it's so crucial get it yourself. I can't believe people are wasting so much energy on £600 worth of over marketed plastic. Myself included. At least it was the right result on Strictly! 😀