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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP got me the wrong present.

372 replies

PresentBlunder · 04/10/2025 17:35

I really wanted the brand new Dyson air wrap for my birthday, it’s almost £600 - I know, ridiculous.

I’ve been squirrelling money away for a couple of months. DP asked me what I’d like for my birthday and I said the air wrap, but it’s a lot of money, so perhaps a contribution towards it. He said he’d buy it for me as it’s a big birthday and he’s getting his bonus from work soon.

My DP is very good at shopping around, getting a discount, we often buy second hand from Facebook and eBay. However, I explained to him that because it’s brand new out (1 month), he likely won’t find it as a bargain anywhere and he’s best off buying it direct from Dyson with our daughters student discount. He agreed and I sent the link.

Come today, I’ve opened my present from him and it’s the Dyson air wrap from quite a few years ago. A much older model without the latest tech or attachments. He was ridiculously pleased with himself and told me he’d got it for much cheaper than the advertised price.

Would you just be honest with him? I don’t want to crush him, he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, but it’s not what I wanted and I’d rather return it and put the money towards the one I actually wanted. I also don’t want to see ungrateful as it was a lovely gesture.

Or I could just return it and buy the one I want and he’ll likely never know?

OP posts:
Clonakilla · 05/10/2025 03:57

namechangetheworld · 04/10/2025 19:51

Thats a whole lot of speculation. Arrogance? Thought he knew better?

Have you never just ... made a mistake?

Show quote history

When sent a link to the specific product I was requested to buy?

No.

It would surely be surprising if anyone of normal intelligence made this mistake? Having already been told that the model to which the link was provided was the only one she wanted, would not be an available
more cheaply. and that an older model was not the same?

thepariscrimefiles · 05/10/2025 06:21

Gruffporcupine · 04/10/2025 20:38

He was trying to do the right thing. Would he actually notice if you secretly returned it and just got the one you wanted? My DH wouldn't notice the difference

He bought it off someone on Facebook who claimed to have only used it once! So he knew it was second hand but only cared about getting it £300 cheaper. If he couldn't afford to buy the model that OP wanted, he shouldn't have offered.

PersephoneParlormaid · 05/10/2025 06:37

I’ve had similar disappointments so many times with DH that I now buy myself what I want. It’s not worth the upset and disappointment.

thepariscrimefiles · 05/10/2025 07:00

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 04/10/2025 21:48

If you returned it and swapped it for the version you want, would he even notice?

He bought it second hand from someone on Facebook, not from Dyson, so he can't swap it.

SpottyBumPony · 05/10/2025 07:02

Clangershome · 04/10/2025 21:40

all these posts are outrageous!

I haven’t read them all obviously but I don’t see any answers that are not up their own backsides. Like, which world do you all live in?
£600 hair dryer for a present and the man buys a £300 one which he thinks is the same (probably as well because who wants to spend this kind of money on a hair dryer.) then everyone is like ‘oh my goodness what a terrible poor job he has done and poor you, you deserve the exact present you specifically asked for!’

so so so happy that I do not have this mindset.

yes I would say poor man.

Its not about the price or the hairdryer, its about the intent.

Somebody asks you to buy them a bottle of red wine; you get to Tesco and rose is bogof so you buy that instead. But they didn't want rose wine, its not what's in the recipe they're cooking, but you didn't check with them because you assumed you knew better.

thepariscrimefiles · 05/10/2025 07:04

PeggySue1988 · 04/10/2025 21:53

You are being very unreasonable. This will downgrade in value immediately since you bought it.

Why not buy some gold jewellery which will retain its resale value to a certain extent in years to come if not increase in value.

Unless you can show us some pictures of how fantastic your hair is that you never need to visit as hairdresser again.

Show quote history

So what? Should she be like King Midas and have everything in gold, no matter how unsuitable or uncomfortable that would be?

She wants her hair to look nice. She isn't buying it as an investment.

SquishyGloopyBum · 05/10/2025 07:20

I’d put money on the fact he didn’t spend £300 either.

let him sulk op and do not apologise. This is on him.

i hope you ordered the correct one last night!

sonjadog · 05/10/2025 07:46

I suspect he didn't spend anywhere near 300 pounds on it. He doesn't want to admit he just spent 50 pounds or similar. I hope this is just a one off thoughtless and self-centred mistake, and that this isn't how he usually behaves, because this incident does not make him look good.

FloozyMcGee · 05/10/2025 08:08

So you can feel uncomfortable so he won't have to, or he can feel uncomfortable because he screwed up. It's your birthday and you should not have to be dissatisfied to save his poor widdo feewings.

sagebasil · 05/10/2025 08:34

Lesina · 04/10/2025 23:17

It’s a hairdryer.,seriously cop on. It dries your hair. It’s no big deal.

This x100

I've read a few of these posts and just think FFS

It's the absolute definition of a first world problem.

Buiderswoe · 05/10/2025 08:36

Is he sulking because he is annoyed with himself for making a mistake or is he sulking with you OP because he is making out you are being ungrateful?

DorothyStorm · 05/10/2025 08:38

Buiderswoe · 05/10/2025 08:36

Is he sulking because he is annoyed with himself for making a mistake or is he sulking with you OP because he is making out you are being ungrateful?

He is sulking because he is doing what he pleases and is annoyed op has questioned him .

CavvieQ · 05/10/2025 08:56

PeggySue1988 · 04/10/2025 21:53

You are being very unreasonable. This will downgrade in value immediately since you bought it.

Why not buy some gold jewellery which will retain its resale value to a certain extent in years to come if not increase in value.

Unless you can show us some pictures of how fantastic your hair is that you never need to visit as hairdresser again.

Show quote history

Jewellery is a terrible investment. It absolutely does not retain its value. You'd be better off just buying gold, if you wanted to invest - which the OP doesn't.

HeadsWinTailsLose · 05/10/2025 09:07

This happened to me in reverse with a kindle, I wanted the paper white and my DH bought an all singing all dancing kindle fire. I ended up buying the one I wanted and gave the fire to the DC I told DH, he was fine about it. I’d let him know that you love the gift but…

ThatCyanCat · 05/10/2025 09:09

He was ridiculously pleased with himself and told me he’d got it for much cheaper than the advertised price.

Whatever the gift, however happy the recipient is (and you're not), you just don't give someone a gift and gleefully tell them you managed to pay less for it!

No wonder he's shit with gifts. You suggested a contribution, if he didn't want to pay £600 (understandable) then he should have done that.

Original poster
PresentBlunder · 05/10/2025 09:11

I bought the one I wanted last night 😁

Yes I realise it is a frivolous purchase, but it makes me happy, and life would be boring if every purchase we ever made (especially for birthdays) was sensible!

It takes me upwards of 40 minutes to style my hair, it’s very frizzy and curly, and that’s without including the time it takes to shampoo, condition etc. I’ve heard the air wrap is amazing at cutting down the time taken and the results online look brilliant, and after 30 years, I’m sick of it taking so long!!

OP posts:
Floatingdownriver · 05/10/2025 09:13

I love mine. Best money I’ve spent. Join some Facebook groups as there are key products for keeping the hold etc and it takes a little getting by used too. Your husband cared more about his feelings than yours and is again making this about him. I hope he has a better side..

Original poster
PresentBlunder · 05/10/2025 09:13

He’s not always been terrible at gifts, he has actually bought me some beautiful jewellery in the past from a local jewellers (gold as well 😂)

I think his desire to get a bargain had got ahead of him. He apologised late last night too.

OP posts:
Floatingdownriver · 05/10/2025 09:14

Phew!

ThatCyanCat · 05/10/2025 09:15

PresentBlunder · 05/10/2025 09:11

I bought the one I wanted last night 😁

Yes I realise it is a frivolous purchase, but it makes me happy, and life would be boring if every purchase we ever made (especially for birthdays) was sensible!

It takes me upwards of 40 minutes to style my hair, it’s very frizzy and curly, and that’s without including the time it takes to shampoo, condition etc. I’ve heard the air wrap is amazing at cutting down the time taken and the results online look brilliant, and after 30 years, I’m sick of it taking so long!!

You don't have to justify it. It's your money and you can spend it as you like. You didn't demand he buy it for you. He asked what you wanted, you suggested whatever he had planned for the gift as a contribution. Then, despite you being clear on what you wanted, he got you something else and thought it was a success because he paid less.

The cost of the item you were working towards is actually irrelevant.

BusyMum47 · 05/10/2025 09:22

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/10/2025 17:47

The thing is, you told him it was expensive, he said it was a big birthday and then he cheated out. Regardless if he’d found it cheap, the thing that made him happy was it being cheap. Not getting the right one to make you happy.

I’d tell him.

Agreed! Fuck his feelings - he didn't care about yours! The thing that's made him deliriously happy is getting a bloody bargain - not getting you what you wanted - despite you being very specific about it. Tell him.

DramaLlamacchiato · 05/10/2025 09:31

I think you’ve done the right thing. My husband always buys the wrong stuff. Drives me mad

pictoosh · 05/10/2025 09:32

I'm glad he apologised. He owed you that...for sulking actually, never mind the bargain dryer.

At least he can reflect and own being wrong. So many people are unwilling to do that. It's a grown up thing to do.

Now he's got to punt a £300 dryer elsewhere. Own fault.

AffableApple · 05/10/2025 10:16

ThatCyanCat · 05/10/2025 09:15

You don't have to justify it. It's your money and you can spend it as you like. You didn't demand he buy it for you. He asked what you wanted, you suggested whatever he had planned for the gift as a contribution. Then, despite you being clear on what you wanted, he got you something else and thought it was a success because he paid less.

The cost of the item you were working towards is actually irrelevant.

Show quote history

This. Yours was a wanted and useful purchase, his was the frivolous purchase!

I just sent my husband a link to the result of my meticulous research for a belated birthday present. Did he glance elsewhere in case? Probably! But he also just bought via the link I sent him.

Boxboom · 05/10/2025 11:06

Glad he apologised because sulking after he so royally put his want of a bargin ahead of your clearly stated preference wouldn't be something I'd forget.

Well done for buying it. 40 minutes is a dose of time to blowdry hair your hair.
If it shaves time off that it will be a great buy.