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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP got me the wrong present.

372 replies

PresentBlunder · 04/10/2025 17:35

I really wanted the brand new Dyson air wrap for my birthday, it’s almost £600 - I know, ridiculous.

I’ve been squirrelling money away for a couple of months. DP asked me what I’d like for my birthday and I said the air wrap, but it’s a lot of money, so perhaps a contribution towards it. He said he’d buy it for me as it’s a big birthday and he’s getting his bonus from work soon.

My DP is very good at shopping around, getting a discount, we often buy second hand from Facebook and eBay. However, I explained to him that because it’s brand new out (1 month), he likely won’t find it as a bargain anywhere and he’s best off buying it direct from Dyson with our daughters student discount. He agreed and I sent the link.

Come today, I’ve opened my present from him and it’s the Dyson air wrap from quite a few years ago. A much older model without the latest tech or attachments. He was ridiculously pleased with himself and told me he’d got it for much cheaper than the advertised price.

Would you just be honest with him? I don’t want to crush him, he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, but it’s not what I wanted and I’d rather return it and put the money towards the one I actually wanted. I also don’t want to see ungrateful as it was a lovely gesture.

Or I could just return it and buy the one I want and he’ll likely never know?

OP posts:
CopperTray · 04/10/2025 17:37

I would try and return it and if you can’t ask him to. Why shouldn’t you have the one you want. Happy Birthday

onwards2025 · 04/10/2025 17:37

You're the one that's supposed to be grinning, and you're not so I think you need to do something about it. If it had been a surprise then fair enough, but there had been conversations about it in advance and he messed up, it may have been an innocent mistake but not sure that's a good enough reason not to sort it etc

m00rfarm · 04/10/2025 17:43

Tell him. Otherwise you will have to suffer for the next 40 years with him telling you (and anyone else who will be forced to listen) how clever he was getting such a discount.

TypeyMcTypeface · 04/10/2025 17:44

How do you think he would react if you told him?

Moonnstars · 04/10/2025 17:45

Yes I would say something. I would say to him the reason he got a bargain is because it's the older model, not the one you wanted, and ask for the receipt. I would explain you weren't expecting him to pay for the whole thing so maybe he could just contribute what he paid for the cheaper version and you will pay the rest.

montston · 04/10/2025 17:46

I would not be overly concerned about his feelings. You did all the legwork here and he just couldn’t be arsed to listen.

AffableApple · 04/10/2025 17:47

m00rfarm · 04/10/2025 17:43

Tell him. Otherwise you will have to suffer for the next 40 years with him telling you (and anyone else who will be forced to listen) how clever he was getting such a discount.

This. It isn't what you wanted. He can choose to take the news on the chin, be a bit miffed, but ultimately want you to be happy with your birthday present, or he can choose to stay very miffed and only think about himself. Tell him.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/10/2025 17:47

The thing is, you told him it was expensive, he said it was a big birthday and then he cheated out. Regardless if he’d found it cheap, the thing that made him happy was it being cheap. Not getting the right one to make you happy.

I’d tell him.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/10/2025 17:48

Cheaper

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/10/2025 17:48

FFS cheaped.

Mummyof3Me2021 · 04/10/2025 17:48

I would tell him. This is the kind of learned incompetence that some men will never grow out of.

You told him and he didnt listen. It is really annoying for you OP, I have been in similar situation and sucked it up but it does eat at you! Believe me!

You should get the gift you wanted not the cheaper, older version!

PrincessOfPreschool · 04/10/2025 17:49

TypeyMcTypeface · 04/10/2025 17:44

How do you think he would react if you told him?

Good question. Also, if it's secondhand, can you even return it? If you can, I would ask him if you can have however much he spent on it and then add that to what you already have.

Arrrrrrragghhh · 04/10/2025 17:57

Yes say something. It wasn’t a surprise and it wasn’t his idea, so it’s fine to get the one you actually asked for.

Say you’ve “had a think” but you’d really like the one you asked for originally, not the older model ( so he understands what the problem us without being ungrateful for his efforts).

ConnieHeart · 04/10/2025 18:01

Tell him for sure. My OH bought me some expensive trainers for Christmas (I always ask for new ones then). Trouble is, they were trail trainers so not at all suitable for the type of running I do so I told him & I was able to return them

Comedyusername · 04/10/2025 18:04

Yep, tell him, in a nice way and then you can both move on

FrangipaniBlue · 04/10/2025 18:06

I think you need to swap them and let him down gently…..

separate note, this thread had gone very differently to the one where OPs DP didn’t get her the beauty calendar she wanted, I guess proof that MNers really do have an issue with grownups having “advent” calendars 😂

Stompythedinosaur · 04/10/2025 18:07

Absolutely tell him! Don't sacrifice your money and your birthday treat to his fragile ego.

He didn't listen!

mummytrex · 04/10/2025 18:08

Say something. You've partially paid for this. You were clear on what you wanted.

DarkForces · 04/10/2025 18:08

Make it his problem. One year I told dh I just wanted some nice chocolates. dh decided that he knew better and got me a pile of stuff that I'd never use. I made him return the lot. I don't want to spend money on clutter or stuff I'd secretly have to get rid of. He has never done it again.

INeedAnotherName · 04/10/2025 18:11

Tell him and get him to return it. He'll keep doing these cheaper deals no matter what you ask for as that is what makes him happy so it's time to say enough and get what you actually want. It's actually ick worthy knowing his happy to scrimp on a gift. What will he do next for thrills - buy dangerous fakes?

You sound a bit worried over his reaction though, are you?

P00hsticks · 04/10/2025 18:11

Unless he bought it new online, you may well find that you can't return it as there's nothing wrong with it.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 04/10/2025 18:12

Tell him the reason it was cheap is because it is an old model and not the one you asked him to buy.

Gymnopedie · 04/10/2025 18:12

Would you just be honest with him? I don’t want to crush him, he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat

Too bad. You don't have to be the one who is crushed by accepting his cheapskate version.

Fifthtimelucky · 04/10/2025 18:12

FrangipaniBlue · 04/10/2025 18:06

I think you need to swap them and let him down gently…..

separate note, this thread had gone very differently to the one where OPs DP didn’t get her the beauty calendar she wanted, I guess proof that MNers really do have an issue with grownups having “advent” calendars 😂

Surely the difference here is that the OP is likely to be using this for years to come. That would be a long time to be annoyed that she didn’t have the one she wanted.

CoastalCalm · 04/10/2025 18:13

I’d tell him , if it was a smaller purchase I’d likely say nothing but not this. Is it new or second hand ? Obviously that will impact on getting refund etc