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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP got me the wrong present.

372 replies

PresentBlunder · 04/10/2025 17:35

I really wanted the brand new Dyson air wrap for my birthday, it’s almost £600 - I know, ridiculous.

I’ve been squirrelling money away for a couple of months. DP asked me what I’d like for my birthday and I said the air wrap, but it’s a lot of money, so perhaps a contribution towards it. He said he’d buy it for me as it’s a big birthday and he’s getting his bonus from work soon.

My DP is very good at shopping around, getting a discount, we often buy second hand from Facebook and eBay. However, I explained to him that because it’s brand new out (1 month), he likely won’t find it as a bargain anywhere and he’s best off buying it direct from Dyson with our daughters student discount. He agreed and I sent the link.

Come today, I’ve opened my present from him and it’s the Dyson air wrap from quite a few years ago. A much older model without the latest tech or attachments. He was ridiculously pleased with himself and told me he’d got it for much cheaper than the advertised price.

Would you just be honest with him? I don’t want to crush him, he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, but it’s not what I wanted and I’d rather return it and put the money towards the one I actually wanted. I also don’t want to see ungrateful as it was a lovely gesture.

Or I could just return it and buy the one I want and he’ll likely never know?

OP posts:
Peoniesandcats · 04/10/2025 21:00

Oh no, I’m gutted for you as you were so clear and even gave him a warning about price and how it’s only been out for 1 month. The contribution would have been a better present.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 04/10/2025 21:00

Grammarnut · 04/10/2025 20:57

You want to spend £600 on what amounts to curling tongs plus hair straightener?!
That said, if you wanted a specific one and you know your DH is a bargain hunter then you should have said nothing about this and suggested something else for your 40? And saved up.
That also said, you could tell him. Send it back and ask him to contribute to the one you wanted. Though he may be both hurt and disappointed since the correct response to any present is 'lovely, thanks' (though I did angrily tell my ex-DH that I did not want a book by Desmond Morris for Christmas but the book I had asked for, 'Wives and Daughters' by E. Gaitskell - he had said he thought it was 'not suitable', i.e. he thought it was a feminist tract, hence ex!).
If he is unobservant (which sounds possible) then quietly send it back and get the one you want. This should save embarrassment all round - and I be he won't notice.
Also, looking on line I can see several Dyson tongs/straightener combos (they are all Dyson air wraps) new for a lot less than £600 and they have lots of attachments.

Edited

The brand new one out that the OP wants? Or are you doing a DH on her?

ChattyGeePeaTea · 04/10/2025 21:01

I don't know how anyone can cheerfully buy Dyson products after all the allegations of slavery tbh.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 04/10/2025 21:02

Grammarnut · 04/10/2025 20:57

You want to spend £600 on what amounts to curling tongs plus hair straightener?!
That said, if you wanted a specific one and you know your DH is a bargain hunter then you should have said nothing about this and suggested something else for your 40? And saved up.
That also said, you could tell him. Send it back and ask him to contribute to the one you wanted. Though he may be both hurt and disappointed since the correct response to any present is 'lovely, thanks' (though I did angrily tell my ex-DH that I did not want a book by Desmond Morris for Christmas but the book I had asked for, 'Wives and Daughters' by E. Gaitskell - he had said he thought it was 'not suitable', i.e. he thought it was a feminist tract, hence ex!).
If he is unobservant (which sounds possible) then quietly send it back and get the one you want. This should save embarrassment all round - and I be he won't notice.
Also, looking on line I can see several Dyson tongs/straightener combos (they are all Dyson air wraps) new for a lot less than £600 and they have lots of attachments.

Edited

RTFT.

  1. Yes she does want it.
  2. She was very clear about wanting a specific model, told him he wouldn't be able to get a deal on it because it has only been out a month, and told him to buy it direct from Dyson and use her daughter's student discount code.
  3. She has told him. He's sulking.
  4. "Lovely, thanks" is not the correct response to your husband trying to cheapskate you out of the thing you really wanted.
  5. It can't be sent back because, like a complete fucking idiot, he actually bought it secondhand on Facebook from a complete stranger and it might not even work and will certainly not be under warranty.
Hankunamatata · 04/10/2025 21:05

No idea be cross and tbh my face wouldnt have hid it

You told him its a specific one out only month. Surely he should have twigged when seller said they used it once and its been sat on the box. Bet he didnt even bother to ask when they brought it

MrsLizzieDarcy · 04/10/2025 21:05

Chances are it's a fake if he got it on FB, OP. Stand your ground, you asked for something, offered to help out with costs but he's the one who went off grid.

As for the holier than thou posts about Dyson Biscuit that's not what OP was asking. I've got the hairdryer OP and it's incredible, my hair is in the best condition ever. All of my DD's have got the air wraps with long hair, and use them all the time.

JohnBullshit · 04/10/2025 21:11

How silly of him. I don't really get Dyson products at all, and wouldn't be in the market for one, even though my hair takes if anything longer than OP's to dry and style. But if that's what you've been looking for, that's what you should get. Does your DP never buy himself new equipment or gadgets? Mine does, and of course a slightly used older version is going to be loads cheaper than the latest gear. Yours should have realised that.The seller might even have been flogging theirs to help fund the purchase of the one you actually wanted!
FB sellers are frequently over-ambitious in their pricing. You can't give half that shit away. Blimey, I'm getting more vexed on your behalf as I type. I would be really pissed off at him spending £300 on something I didn't want.

YellowGuido · 04/10/2025 21:12

I really think it’s okay to expect the person who is meant to be your life partner and who is meant to love and care about you, to take the time and effort to get something like this right - especially as OP made it so easy for him. It would be different if he’d bought you an upgraded model with thoughts of getting you more than you’d hoped for and it not being quite right, but this was penny pinching and dismissive…

montston · 04/10/2025 21:15

Grammarnut · 04/10/2025 20:57

You want to spend £600 on what amounts to curling tongs plus hair straightener?!
That said, if you wanted a specific one and you know your DH is a bargain hunter then you should have said nothing about this and suggested something else for your 40? And saved up.
That also said, you could tell him. Send it back and ask him to contribute to the one you wanted. Though he may be both hurt and disappointed since the correct response to any present is 'lovely, thanks' (though I did angrily tell my ex-DH that I did not want a book by Desmond Morris for Christmas but the book I had asked for, 'Wives and Daughters' by E. Gaitskell - he had said he thought it was 'not suitable', i.e. he thought it was a feminist tract, hence ex!).
If he is unobservant (which sounds possible) then quietly send it back and get the one you want. This should save embarrassment all round - and I be he won't notice.
Also, looking on line I can see several Dyson tongs/straightener combos (they are all Dyson air wraps) new for a lot less than £600 and they have lots of attachments.

Edited

If she wanted the specific one she should have told him which one not suggested something else. Oh wait, she did!!

DryIce · 04/10/2025 21:16

I totally agree he has brought it on himself (dismissive, patronising etc etc), but I am sorry this has happened on your birthday. Even though you're in the right, it's a bad feeling to have on what was supposed to be a nice gesture - so happy birthday! And I hope he gets over the sulking soon and can laugh about it one day!?

Blueskies77 · 04/10/2025 21:16

PresentBlunder · 04/10/2025 20:36

I’ve spoken to him and it turns out he got it from Facebook from someone claimed they’d used it once and it had sat in the box since. It’s the model from a few years ago so who knows whether that’s the truth or not. He said he spent £300 on it!

Ive said I’m going to be buying the model I wanted and he needs to shift that one, he’s being sulky now.

Good for you. Not your problem he didn’t listen to you. Tbh id be so annoyed if my husband thought getting a second hand air wrap for my big birthday was acceptable! Especially after putting effort in to send the link, discuss discount etc.

Original poster
PresentBlunder · 04/10/2025 21:17

It’s back in stock on the website (it’s been in and out since it came out), tempted to just buy it for myself as a birthday present!!

OP posts:
Buiderswoe · 04/10/2025 21:17

He 100% knew what he was doing and assumed you would shut up and take it. He was smug because he thinks he got one over on you. He’s now sulking because you called him out. You did the right thing.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 04/10/2025 21:17

PresentBlunder · 04/10/2025 21:17

It’s back in stock on the website (it’s been in and out since it came out), tempted to just buy it for myself as a birthday present!!

You’re worth it.

HK04 · 04/10/2025 21:20

PresentBlunder · 04/10/2025 21:17

It’s back in stock on the website (it’s been in and out since it came out), tempted to just buy it for myself as a birthday present!!

Go for it. Think you’ve been more than magnanimous in what was a rubbish situation.

GhostsInTheWindowsAndWalls · 04/10/2025 21:20

PresentBlunder · 04/10/2025 21:17

It’s back in stock on the website (it’s been in and out since it came out), tempted to just buy it for myself as a birthday present!!

Do it!

titchy · 04/10/2025 21:23

PresentBlunder · 04/10/2025 20:50

I’ve just been on Facebook and they are selling for £50 - £150 less than £300. They must have seen him coming!!

Show quote history

He probably didn’t actually pay £300 for it, just wanted to pretend he spent that much.

TheSilentSister · 04/10/2025 21:23

Just want to say well done for speaking out. Bet he will listen to you next time, lol! You'd hope it was an honest mistake and for that, I'd feel a bit sorry for him. But a girl needs what a girl needs.

HeidiLite · 04/10/2025 21:26

Also, looking on line I can see several Dyson tongs/straightener combos (they are all Dyson air wraps) new for a lot less than £600 and they have lots of attachments.

yes of course there are loads of cheaper older models online now, because there's a new version out. The new that OP wants.

Blueskies77 · 04/10/2025 21:26

PresentBlunder · 04/10/2025 21:17

It’s back in stock on the website (it’s been in and out since it came out), tempted to just buy it for myself as a birthday present!!

Don’t even hesitate! Hope you have bought it and enjoy!

pictoosh · 04/10/2025 21:27

I think you were explicit about what you wanted and he chose to disregard you.
He's got nothing to sulk about. He took a gamble and lost. It was his choice to chance it rather than just go ahead and buy the item you made it clear you wanted.
Tell him to straighten his face out.
Absolutely buy the one you want for yourself.

floatyjosmum · 04/10/2025 21:30

I wanted a Dyson Airwrap and got a shark hairdryer…. DH had researched and shark is as good as Dyson.
maybe so but they’re two different things.

as someone who still doesn’t have an airwrap I would say something. I wish I had!

ChattyGeePeaTea · 04/10/2025 21:30

MrsLizzieDarcy · 04/10/2025 21:05

Chances are it's a fake if he got it on FB, OP. Stand your ground, you asked for something, offered to help out with costs but he's the one who went off grid.

As for the holier than thou posts about Dyson Biscuit that's not what OP was asking. I've got the hairdryer OP and it's incredible, my hair is in the best condition ever. All of my DD's have got the air wraps with long hair, and use them all the time.

There's nothing particularly holy about avoiding slavery, a lot of people think it's a fairly low standard.

We all like to believe that if we were alive in the 17th / 18th century we'd have been abolitionists who nobly refused sugar / coffee / the inheritance from a father in the East India company. The reality is that if most of us were alive then we wouldn't have cared to know about it and if we had known we wouldn't have given a shit, and if we'd had the slightest chance we'd have bought shares in it.

At least in today's world where we do find out about these things we have a choice. I find it absolutely remarkable that faced with the choice of a nice hair-do or avoiding a company implicated in slavery, so many will chose the nice hair-do.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 04/10/2025 21:34

Bottom line being he knew best.

Twat.

Sera1989 · 04/10/2025 21:39

Similarish thing happened to me when the automatic hair curlers first came out. My boyfriend brought me a knockoff one that wasn’t very good. I sold it on eBay and bought myself the real one. It was definitely weird of your DH to buy a used hair tool as a gift and as you’d told him exactly what you wanted and were even prepared to buy it yourself he will just have to deal with having the hump

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