DP got me the wrong present.

[PresentBlunder]

I really wanted the brand new Dyson air wrap for my birthday, it’s almost £600 - I know, ridiculous.

I’ve been squirrelling money away for a couple of months. DP asked me what I’d like for my birthday and I said the air wrap, but it’s a lot of money, so perhaps a contribution towards it. He said he’d buy it for me as it’s a big birthday and he’s getting his bonus from work soon.

My DP is very good at shopping around, getting a discount, we often buy second hand from Facebook and eBay. However, I explained to him that because it’s brand new out (1 month), he likely won’t find it as a bargain anywhere and he’s best off buying it direct from Dyson with our daughters student discount. He agreed and I sent the link.

Come today, I’ve opened my present from him and it’s the Dyson air wrap from quite a few years ago. A much older model without the latest tech or attachments. He was ridiculously pleased with himself and told me he’d got it for much cheaper than the advertised price.

Would you just be honest with him? I don’t want to crush him, he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, but it’s not what I wanted and I’d rather return it and put the money towards the one I actually wanted. I also don’t want to see ungrateful as it was a lovely gesture.

Or I could just return it and buy the one I want and he’ll likely never know?

He ignored your advice, didn't check carefully enough that he was buying the correct model, and yet still feels so pleased with his minimal effort that's he grinning?

One word... ick

Oh FFS with the 'he's just a bloke' stuff. It does such a disservice to the majority of men who are thoughtful!

For those asking if the Airwrap is worth it, I have the Airwrap i.d and its completely transformed my hair. Best £400 I have spent (with a discount).

Thats a whole lot of speculation. Arrogance? Thought he knew better?

Have you never just ... made a mistake?

He's a bloke, he likely won't have a clue that it's a different model. He probably thought he'd found the exact one OP wanted but £100 cheaper and was pleased he got a good deal.

Do you think he would possibly manage to identify the correct model of a bloke-friendly item, @namechangetheworld? It’s just when it’s a product aimed at women that his brain shuts down?

If he can't get his money back, then I would sell it and get the one you want OP.

Sadly, many of us were brought up to say thank you, and pretend to be pleased with a gift even when it wasn't something you wanted, so by the time we reach adulthood, it feels wrong to tell the gift giver that it's not the right size, or the right model. However, for something this expensive, then I think even though I'd be riddled with guilt, I would have to tell him that it's the wrong one, and that's why it seemed like a bargain.

OP sent him the link. I’ve never bought the wrong thing when I have the link. Even if he went on to buy it elsewhere, knowing OP had said there is an older model and the one she wanted was very new, you would make sure by checking it against the one on the link. He clearly didn’t bother.

Absolutely, he'd understand the difference if it were an iPhone.

I think you do need to say something. You can maybe give a comparable example like others have suggested - preferably something that would mean something to him, so if he usually has a recent model of phone, use that example.
But what I find a bit unpleasant about this (and maybe I’m just an old cynic) is that you so expressly said exactly what you wanted and that it would not be available as a bargain as it had been recently released. So he KNEW this but sort of dismissed or overruled what you actually wanted in favour of what he thought was best. I think you need to gently remind him that it is different to what you actually asked for so for him to return it and that you are totally happy to add the extra needed to get the one that you want. The danger of not saying anything is firstly you’re stuck with something you don’t want and also you won’t feel that you can trust him to get you the right present in the future. Ultimately, if he’s a person that really cares more about getting you a nice birthday gift, than “knowing best”, then he will want to know. X

I may be exceptionally wonderful but I've always managed to buy what someone has explicitly asked for correctly. If in doubt I check with them to avoid buying basically expensive clutter. It's arrogant and rude to assume you know better than the person who has actually told you what they want. And you were the one who decided that we should excuse it because he's bepenised so really we shouldn't expect better. I do.

I doubt he'd notice if you sold it and bought the REAL one by putting the difference to it. Or exchange it and pay the difference yourself. I would try to do it that way rather than humiliate him TBH as I think his intentions were good. Blokes haven't a clue about the latest hair gadgets, rightly or wrongly, once they have the right name they think it's fine. That's the reality and I've been on the receiving end of one such gift, which was given with a good heart. I exchanged it and he knew no different.

Maybe you could be cheeky and say well since you saved a whack on buying it, we can go out for a fancy dinner on the difference between what you paid and the 600 quid it would have cost!

No point being belligerent about it (not saying you would be), just find the easiest solution that doesn't cause any hassle.

Are you sure he can return it, what if he brought it off eBay / marketplace?

@inamo he's smug he's got a bargain. He cared more about this than getting the actual present @PresentBlunder wanted and is happy to brag about it. Why should she be the one to sort it out? What will stop him doing it again? Why is it easier for her to keep her mouth shut than actually deal with it and tell him to actually get her what she wants and has paid towards? The only person who benefits from your approach is the man who couldn't be arsed to listen in the first place. He'll get to brag about the bargain he found and have no incentive not to do it again.

This

He couldn't be arsed; only wanted a 'bargain'

For your birthday present

Well that's his problem isn't it? He can buy the right version and try to resell the one he decided to buy on the cheap

Reminds me of the time my husband smugly thought he'd got a much better deal on the washer dryer we wanted than the best price I'd found. Then it got delivered and discovered what he'd ordered was just a washer 😂

I think that might be because of the ridiculous hype around an "advent" calendar that is sold out in September. People get really sucked in by marketing.

I think you need to tell your DH he has purchased the wrong model and it doesn’t do XYZ. Tell him HE needs to exchange it for the correct one that you have already asked for. Then don’t get involved in how this is facilitated.

It wasn’t just a mistake though. She literally sent him a link. His arrogance, not speculative, is the reason he ignored everything she said. He thought he knew better.

And he didn’t want to spend £600.

I think the point is she explained beforehand it's a new model and sent a specific link to the item she wanted.
To me it suggests he wasn't really listening to what she said and thought he knew best.

I'd return and get the one you want. He doesn't need to know.

Then why did he offer?

I don't understand why you didn't say something when you opened it??

I assume you thanked him and smiled etc. Now its just awkward.
You should have just said 'this isn't the right model, do you have the reciept still?'

I’ve spoken to him and it turns out he got it from Facebook from someone claimed they’d used it once and it had sat in the box since. It’s the model from a few years ago so who knows whether that’s the truth or not. He said he spent £300 on it!

Ive said I’m going to be buying the model I wanted and he needs to shift that one, he’s being sulky now.