Do I mention no gift?

[Candleinalantern]

I’ve been with my DH for 5 years and recently got married (second marriage) just a casual wedding, registry office and then back to a local bar to celebrate, we kept numbers small and only invited people who we see or are close to. On my side i invited my immediate family and 2 aunties, an uncle and a cousin and some close friends.

the next day we opened all our cards and gifts and lots of people were very generous and we have sent thank you’s to all those that came and gave gifts/money.

my dilemma is that my uncle, auntie and cousin all just gave a card which I thought was unusual. I know I am most likely coming off here as entitled and I know I am probably judging by my own standards but I would never have attended a close family members wedding and not gave a gift, even a token bottle of prosecco. On the other hand I’m wondering if they have gave something and it’s been misplaced and that I haven’t said thanks for something they have gave as I haven’t received it?

would I be unreasonable to say something? Does anyone have any advice or should I just leave it?

Were you providing food/drinks? Covering the cost of your plate seems to be increasingly a thing in the UK.

Don’t say anything. Whilst it is a conventional to take a gift, it isn’t mandatory. All you will do is cause bad feeling.

Did they give you a gift for your first wedding?

I never understand why people want a gift for getting married 🤣

Say thanks for coming and for the lovely card and that’s it. Small wedding in a registry office and bar doesn’t scream ‘I want all the gifts’, don’t come across as grabby

Don't say anything- it would sound rude. You don't (or shouldn't) invite people in the expectation of presents, especially for a second wedding.

If you’re worried the gift may have been misplaced, could you ask another family member who attended to ‘casually’ ask what gift (if any) they got you?

Because a wedding is an event hosted by the couple and it's good manners to bring a gift to any host?

Of course you shouldn’t say anything!

Yes, go ahead and tell them. Please let us know what their reaction was to being chastised for not giving you a gift.

It's rude and unusual not to bring a gift to a wedding. But ruder and more unusual to bring it up. Just one of those quirks of british manners I think.

Say thank you for being part of our day and thank you for the card and leave it at that.

When you send thank you notes just say ’thank you for the card.’

Unless the OP picked up the bar tab after the ceremony, there wasn’t much hosting going on.

It's really not, and let's not promote that being the case.

Potentially not, but the comment I was responding to was specifically asking why people expected wedding gifts full stop.

I’d do this IF you genuinely think something may have been misplaced.

If you’re mainly annoyed that they haven’t given you a gift I’d just send a generic “thank you for being part of our day” (to cover all eventualities) and move on.

What did they give you first time around? Maybe they've got together and decided they gave enough last time not to bother this time!!!

This. Then you give them the opportunity to mention if they did bring something that got misplaced

Some people still hold to the view - now old fashioned - that you don't give gifts for second weddings.

If you’re sending out a thank you to your guests then thank them for the card and making the effort to attend them move on.

Agree.
I'd not be bothered beyond thinking it a bit rude. I'd rather not have the bottle of wine or gift voucher than make things awkward with a conversation about why they didn't bring a gift. If you bring it up and they didn't buy anything, that's going to loiter at every family occasion going forward. Forget it.

Isn’t it? It’s the benchmark I have for pretty much every wedding gift.

I give according to my own budget and my relationship with the people getting married.

i wouldn’t give a better / worse gift based on how much the couple chooses / can afford to spend on a wedding.

Not that I'm aware of.
You do what works for you though. 😬

I think it is tight of them not to give any sort of gift yanbu

Did they give you a gift for your first wedding? If so, I'd keep quiet.
They got you a card, they made the effort to attend (with the associated costs of that), surely that's all you'd want?